Possibility: Deviation
by Mystic83
Summary: What if the fates of two separate men had shifted away from what they were meant to be? What is a crash and the end of the world had never happened?
1. Chapter 1

**This will be a series of stand-alone stories which deal with the choices that the characters on Battlestar Galactica have made throughout the first half of the second season (I'll be posting in as much of the order of the season as I can). I want to explore what would have happened/changed if things had gone differently. Some of the stories will be angst, some will be shippy, some will be funny. There will be different pairings throughout. Don't feel like you have to check out each one to understand the others. All I ask is that if it intrigues you, then give it a try. Hope you enjoy reading the stories as much as I enjoyed writing them!**

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_**There are pivotal moments in one's life where if you take the wrong path everything may change. Those changes may be for the good or for the bad. The possibilities are endless.**_

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The sunlight streamed through the room's lone window to gently warm Kara's face as she lazily pulled herself from the comfort of sleep. Blinking her eyes a few times, she carefully inched herself out from underneath the bedcovers. She grabbed her underwear off of the ground, slipped them on, and turned to pick up the first sweatshirt she could find. Sliding it over her head, she realized it wasn't hers. That didn't matter.

Kara tiptoed into the small bathroom and hit the hot water faucet in the shower. Being so far away from any of the Twelve Colonies, technology didn't run so smoothly. Water took at least five minutes to heat up.

She pushed the medicine cabinet door closed and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was thin but healthy. Her eyes still had that haunted look about them. She never could get rid of that. Her head tilted to give her a good look at the still-forming bruises on the side of her neck. Her fingers brushed lightly across the teeth marks. It had been a rough night.

Kara's eyes drew away from the mirror to stare at where her hands lay on the counter. The ring on her left hand still looked foreign to her even after twenty-four hours. She touched the small brass band softly with her other hand. It looked like it might break under even the slightest pressure. It was so thin.

Closing her eyes, Kara let herself drift back to the memory of the night before as steam began to fill the room. It was hard to believe that she had agreed to his request to marry her. It hadn't surprised her. They had been carrying on this affair for years now. She had just never let herself believe the best Viper pilot in the whole Colonial Fleet would want to make an honest woman out of her.

So caught up in her thoughts, she didn't hear him until he had wrapped his arms around her and gently rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Good morning, Mrs. Adama."

His small chuckle made a smile slowly spread across her face. Turning in his arms, she reached her hand up to guide his lips toward hers. "How are we going to explain this to everyone?"

Lee Adama pulled back to look at her. "We'll figure it out, Kara."

Kara gave him a small nod before moving her hands away from his face so that she could skillfully run her fingertips along the lines of the muscles on his arms. She let him push her back gently until she was seated on top of the counter with his body planted firmly between her legs. A sigh passed through her lips.

"No one even knew about us, Lee. I've been living on this rock of a colonial outpost for years now. I don't even speak to your father anymore." A look of guilt passed through her eyes before she could stop it. "He wouldn't approve."

"I don't care," Lee said, bending down to meet her eyes. "This isn't about him."

She gave him a small nod. "We're going to do this."

"Frak yeah, we are."

"I'm scared," she admitted, sliding off the counter.

"Don't be," Lee insisted. "Whatever happens, I know what we're doing is right. I don't want to feel guilt about loving you anymore."

Kara stared at him a moment in silence and then asked, "So where do we go from here?"

"We'll just take it one person at a time. As long as we do this together, it will work."

His strong words of determination were just another reason she loved him and knew what they had done the night before was the right decision. No one had ever made her feel this secure.

Kara silently shrugged out of Lee's sweatshirt, handing it to him, and her underwear soon followed. Wishing she could pull Lee in with her, she stepped into the warm shower and sighed. "You're going to be gone when I get out, aren't you?" she asked through the curtain.

"You know my pass expires soon. I can't push it this time, Kara. We don't want everyone to find out about us because I've been brought up on disciplinary procedures."

"That would be bad," she agreed. Letting out a deep breath, she poked her head outside the shower. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave, but I have to." Lee leaned in. He meant to give her a quick kiss, but like everything in their relationship, it soon filtered out of control. He just let himself enjoy the moment for a few precious seconds, and then he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "How hard would it be for you to get someone to fill in for you?"

"I have quite a bit of leave set up considering I haven't left this place in over a year, and I could probably get a replacement some time next week. Why do you ask?"

"I want you to come see me on Atlantia." He chuckled lightly as her mouth dropped open. Unable to resist the urge, he pulled her into another kiss, this one substantially longer and more involved if that was even possible. When he pulled back, his front was slightly damp and her breath seemed to have disappeared. "We'll start on Atlantia and work our way through the Fleet." Lee gave her a smile. "How's that for a plan?"

"It's Galactica I'm worried about," Kara pointed out.

"Because of Dad or Zak?"

"A little bit of both."

Lee nodded in agreement and stepped in to give her one last kiss. Kara pulled the curtain shut. She hated when Lee left her alone.

The shower went cold after a few minutes, and for the millionth time, Kara wished there was some other place she could have gone. After what she did, though, she had been lucky to get this outpost job. The Colonial Fleet didn't like people who used their rank and position to frak with the decisions the higher-ups made.

Kara sighed and knocked off the water. She had had no choice. There were some things she would give her life to keep safe, and that day she had proved it. In the end, it was a good trade-off. She lost her wings, but she gained true happiness for the first time in her life.

Wrapping a towel around her body, Kara stepped out into the cold. The tiny apartment was quiet. Lee always left quickly. Just like her, he hated when he had to go. Kara's eyes landed on the bed, and her lips turned up in a smile. He had left his sweatshirt behind. Lee knew how much she loved wearing his clothes. Grinning like a complete idiot, she let the towel slid to the ground and pulled the soft material over her head.

"We can do this," she repeated, lifting the material up to her nose to inhale. "I know we can."

Smiling, she settled down to another day of monotonous work.


	2. Chapter 2

_Kara tried to smooth out the slight wrinkles in her wedding dress, but just like her nerves, they wouldn't go away. She could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the room, and all she could think of was the large amount of people sitting outside the door, just waiting for her to frak this up._

_She had thought this was going to be easy. He had told her that this was what she wanted._

"_I don't want this!" she yelled, turning to glare at the closed door. She jumped when she realized she wasn't alone. There was a rather unexpected visitor leaning against the wall. "You're not supposed to be here."_

_Lee smiled at her and walked to stand in front of her. "That's not true."_

_"Isn't there something about seeing the bride before the wedding?"_

"_That's an old Picon tradition, and I think it only applies to the guy you're getting married to."_

_Kara felt herself blush. She should have known that. "What do you want, Lee?"_

"_You look beautiful," he whispered, taking a step closer._

_Kara could feel her heart drop up, and she swore silently. She didn't need this right now. "I look like a little girl playing dress-up," she said, turning to stare at herself in the mirror._

_Lee stepped up behind her in the mirror and rested his hands on her shoulder. "That's not what I see."_

_Kara fought back the urge to shiver. This was Zak's brother, the man she had just met the day before. He shouldn't be able to make her knees weak with a smile and a small touch. "Lee…" she warned._

"_Kara…" He shot back with a smile._

_She met his eyes in the mirror. "What are you doing?"_

"_I'm not really sure. People were starting to get restless, and I offered to check on you. I don't know why I did it. It probably would have been better if my mom came back here or something." Lee's hands slid down the sides of her arm and rested on top of where her hands were clutching her stomach. Kara turned to look up at him. "All I knew was I had to come and talk to you before you did this. I have no clue what I want to say. I just knew that I had to see you."_

"_Lee, we can't be doing this."_

"_I know," he whispered._

_Kara could feel his eyes on her as she turned back to look into the mirror. She had been introduced to Lee at a picnic Zak's family had in honor of her wedding only twenty-four hours earlier. The meeting had been a long time coming. Zak had been trying to introduce her to Lee since practically the second they started dating. The look of disappointment on his face ever time his brother called to cancel yet another visit was something she would never forget. Each time, she had jokingly said it didn't matter to her if she met Lee for the first time at the wedding because he would always be family. It had seemed like a safe thing to say to cheer Zak up. Who could have predicted she would look into the eyes of her fiancé's brother and suddenly feel her defenses melt away? That was something that had taken years with Zak, but in one second, she was an open book to Lee._

_She heard him softly whisper her name, and she could just imagine where this could go if only she let it. He wanted to lean down to kiss her. Kara barely had the strength not to do the same. His touch would be gentle. That wasn't even a question in her mind. She had been watching him enough in the past day to realize that everything Lee did was either extremely intense or extremely gentle. There was no middle ground. It would be crazy and insane, but she couldn't think of one reason why she shouldn't give in. It seemed like all rationality and common sense had left her body._

_Lee's fingers came up to brush her cheek, and she reached up to touch the back of his hand with her own. It was then that she felt the cool metal on her left thumb and remembered where she was._

"_Oh gods," she whispered, pulling herself away from Lee's touch. Her eyes fell to the mirror again, and she was amazed at what she saw. Two seconds ago, she was a scatterbrained Colonial flight instructor trying her best to play the part of a bride. Now she looked like she had been born to wear this dress. Her skin was glowing, her eyes were shining, and she could feel the smile spreading across her face. It made her want to cry. "Look at me. I'm in a white dress ready to walk down the aisle." She looked over her shoulder at Lee. "I can't be doing this. I can't break Zak's heart, not after everything he's done for me."_

"_I know," Lee said. _

_Kara could tell by the sadness in his eyes that he wasn't lying. He really knew how this was going to end when he came into the room. "So what do we do now?"_

_Lee's hands came up on her shoulders again, but instead of pulling her into that imagined kiss, he turned her to face him. "Now, I'm going to smooth out those last wrinkles for you. Then you're going to follow your heart and make my little brother the happiest man in the Twelve Colonies."_

_Kara stayed silent as Lee did just that. After only a few seconds of tidying, she was wearing a dress so pristine it looked like it had come right off one of those mannequins in the high-price stores in Caprica City. She was going to thank Lee, but he was already out the door before she could find the words.

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_

Kara Adama hated her job.

If Picon was the heart of the Twelve Colonies, Geminon its soul, and Caprica its brains, then Colonial Outpost PX-29 was the asshole, hands down. Her job was simple. Make sure the product stayed where it was put. Keep the documentation up to date. Don't ask questions.

Years ago, Kara could remember wondering where all the bad guys the military captured went. The answer was pretty damn simple. They went to Outpost PX-29, only a few million miles from Picon. This was the facility to which the Colonial Military sends their special cases. This hellhole of a planet was where they dropped the people they didn't know how to deal with. It was the kind of place parents told their children they would end up if they didn't behave. Half the tiny planet was fenced in to keep the prisoners isolated. They were given the tools to create food and shelter, and they were left on their own.

Kara had no contact with the prisoners. Her job was to make sure the proper paperwork was filed with the Fleet. These people weren't ever going to be leaving this outpost. They were mostly Colonials who had been convicted of some political crime. These were the people that no one cared to hear from again and they were stuck in this hole, just like she was.

She flipped open the newest paperwork. Fleet Headquarters was transferring an interesting one this time. Dr. Gaius Baltar had been one of the leading minds on Caprica until he started making insane claims that the Cylons were planning on attacking the Twelve Colonies. He said that a Cylon agent in human form had been deceiving him for months in the hopes of getting into the Defense Ministry. Everyone had chalked it up as just another genius who had was a few Vipers short of a squadron.

According to the report, Baltar didn't like being patronized. He pointed out several weak points in the defense mainframe. When asked why he never reported these weaknesses, he started rambling about his Cylon woman again and something about two seats at a pyramid game. He ended up screaming about this fancy, Cylon woman that only he could see. Baltar was declared criminally insane, and he had disappeared from public view over five years ago. Everyone assumed he had died on some prisoner ship.

"Guess not," Kara mumbled, signing the bottom of the paper. This was a transfer she could accept. The people on her outpost were mostly out of their minds. They wouldn't notice one more.

She pushed the completed papers out of her way, and her eyes came to rest on the picture tacked up to the wall her desk was against. It was the one memory of her past she had kept after being transferred. Caroline Adama had taken it on a whim that day. Kara was standing in the center of the picture, her eyes turned towards the ground. Lee and Zak were on her right, arm in arm. They had been laughing about some stupid comment. Zak was at the far end of the picture, looking straight into the camera with his trademark smile plastered across his face. Lee wasn't so easy to read. His face had the hint of a smile to it, but he was looking right past his brother. Kara could remember Caroline teasing him that he always had his head in the clouds when she tried to get a photo of both her boys.

Looking at the picture, Kara saw that was far from the truth. If you looked closely, you could see Lee wasn't staring into space. He was looking at Kara.

There was a worn line through the middle of the two Adama brothers, put there from years of folding and unfolding. Staring at the picture, a familiar pain filled Kara's heart. She slowly untacked the picture and folded it. It was what she did when the pain of staring at their two faces, so happy together, got to be too much.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Zak," she whispered before slipping the photo into her jacket pocket. She did her best to swallow back the last of her fear. It had been a hard lesson to learn, but she knew if she wanted to be happy, it was up to her to make it happen. That meant no more running away. The paperwork was done, and she had a shuttle to catch. Lee was waiting for her on his Battlestar.


	3. Chapter 3

_Kara heard a light Caprican wedding march begin and took a deep breath. She could do this. She could walk down this aisle and let Zak Adama make an honest woman out of her. She just had to keep looking straight and not pause._

_The first steps were taken on her own. The only man she would ever let escort her down the aisle would be her father, and he had been missing for over twenty years now. At least that's what she told Zak. It was a lot easier to say instead of the truth, which was her father had gotten restless and left his wife and young daughter behind at a military outpost on Virgon._

_She was glad for the light yellow veil that hid her eyes from each person she walked past. They were all members of Zak's family. He had been the one to want a big wedding in the temple of Delphi where his mother and father had been married twenty-five years earlier. She had just wanted a small civil ceremony with maybe a few guests like Zak's parents and his much idolized older brother. She wasn't the type of girl who wanted to make a big fuss about these kinds of things. Zak insisted, though._

_The music faded out as she came to a stop in front of her future husband. Zak was beaming down at her as he slid the veil up over her face, and Kara knew that the smile on her face was genuine. She loved Zak. From the second he stepped into her classroom, he had given her a reason to hope. She had thought she would be stuck teaching Academy students for the rest of her career because of her bum knee and her bad habit of opening her mouth. He had calmed down her wild ways, and she had actually received a field assignment starting in a month. Her superiors hadn't told her much more. It seems they didn't want to jinx it, either._

_She heard the priestess speaking and felt Zak slip the ring off her thumb finger. It was already time to slip Aphrodite's Band, the ring that pledged her eternal faith, onto her ring finger. She regretted begging Zak to have the ceremony be quick. She needed more time to get her head back together._

_Zak's voice echoed through the church. "I call upon everyone here to witness that I take you, Kara, to be my wife from this day forward. I promise before the gods and these witnesses to be your faithful husband…" His voice faded out as Kara's eyes focused on the man over his shoulder. She had originally loved the idea that Zak wanted his brother to be his best man. It had sounded cute at the time, but now it only seemed like the gods' way of taunting her. "…to be loyal to you with my whole life and with all my being. I will love you as your husband, your lover and your friend, so help me, Hera, one day at a time."_

_The priestess turned to smile at Kara. "It is your turn, my child." _

_Kara nodded and turned to look at Zak. "I call upon everyone here to witness that I-" Kara's voice caught in her throat, and she coughed lightly. "I-" Her voice dropped out again, and her eyes drifted over Zak's shoulder to look at Lee. The smile of encouragement he had given her only a few seconds before was gone. In its place was that same look of sadness she had seen earlier. The church was silent as she held his gaze._

"_Kara?" Zak said tentatively. She watched Lee for a second more before turning to look at his younger brother. "Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine," she whispered, clearing her throat. Third time had to be a charm. "I call upon everyone here to witness that I-" Kara felt something rise up inside of her, and for a second, she thought she was going to be sick. Then she realized the reason why she felt nauseous. When she was young, her mother told her she had the uncanny knack of figuring out how to screw up a good thing every time it came along. _

_It was with a small twinge of sadness and regret that Kara realized her mother had been right. _

"_I… I can't do this," she whispered. She saw Lee's eyes go wide as Zak's whole face dropped. "I'm so sorry."_

_Before anyone could even realize what was happening, Kara was running down the aisle and out of the church. The sky had filled with dark clouds while she had been in the church, and thunder rumbled in the distance. She could feel the dirt kick up off the road to mar her dress, and she had to fight back the tears._

_The gods had forsaken her this day, and she wondered if she could ever forgive them.

* * *

_

Kara stepped out of the shuttle onto the cold Battlestar. Distant memories flooded her, and she found herself unable to suppress a smile. Most days, she missed the Galactica like crazy even if her time there had been marred by her own shortcomings.

Unable to help herself, Kara drifted over to one of the Vipers. It was a Mark VIII. She had thought she'd never see one of these things in person. They were what her dreams were made of. Vipers and a life of peace, just her and Lee, that was what she saw when she closed her eyes and imagined a perfect world.

"Can I help you?"

Kara turned to see a rather small looking specialist. She swore they were recruiting younger these days. She pulled her hands away from the wing of the Viper and smiled. "I'm here to see Major Lee Adama."

"Apollo's out on the last leg of the CAP."

Kara swore. "I told that pilot to fraking slow down," she grumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm here a little early. Is there somewhere I can wait for him that's out of the way?"

"The pilot's break room by the senior quarters is usually a good place to keep out of the official business on this ship, but it can get a little rowdy. I wouldn't want you to feel out of place."

Kara smirked. "Kid, you don't have to worry about that. I could eat half the pilots on this hunk of junk for breakfast." The girl's eyes went wide, and Kara threw a salute out of habit. "Thanks for the information."

"Don't you want directions?" the young specialist called.

"I can figure it out," Kara replied. "All these ships are the same."

She did her best to blend in with the corridor walls. The Colonial Military had cast her out five years before. She doubted any of the commanding officers would be happy to hear she had found a way back in. Most of the pilots she passed ignored her. It seems she no longer had her Starbuck aura that made people stand up and take notice.

The pilot's break room was filled with the normal commotion. There was a rather interesting play by play description of the last pyramid game on Picon in which the Aerelon Rams cleaned house. Kara felt the urge to join in. She had actually listened to that game over the wireless while waiting for Lee to show up the last time he visited. Any urge to talk pyramid went away the second she saw the triad table.

Triad was probably the one thing she missed most about being a pilot. She had figured out the hard way that solitary triad could get boring rather quickly when you lived on a military outpost. The prospect of having opponents to test her bluffing skills again made her want to cry. Not to mention that most of these people had no clue who she was. They wouldn't know what hit them.

Kara fought the urge to ask to be dealt in. She wanted to just savor the game being played for a few minutes. She leaned against the wall just inside the hatchway and tried to stay out of sight. It wouldn't do to have people asking her if she was lost.

After a few minutes, the man with his back to her slapped down twenty cubits and called. Kara smiled as he laid down full colors and began to taunt his fellow players. She would be taunting, too, if it had been her hand to play.

"Civilians aren't allowed in here," a pilot growled as he pushed past her to enter the room. Everyone turned to look at her.

Kara was about to growl something right back at the pilot when she recognized who the triad winner was. She hadn't seen him since the day she got thrown out of the Fleet.

"Hi, Kara," Helo said, leaning back in his seat.


	4. Chapter 4

_Kara threw her bag into the empty locker, and it hit the bottom with a satisfying clunk. She had never imagined her first off-ground assignment would be like this. She was supposed to be excited, not dreading every day until this three year stint was over._

_It was supposed to be simple. She was to report to the Triton after her honeymoon while Zak went off to his placement. They would be apart for three years, but after that, they should have enough rank to request positions that would keep them on the same colony. There wasn't supposed to be a malfunction in the water tanks of Triton, taking it out of commission for at least three months. She wasn't supposed to be reassigned. They weren't supposed to be here together._

"_You're her, aren't you?"_

_Kara turned to look at the slender brunette standing in the open hatch. If she remembered right, this was one of the Raptor ECOs. "Edmonson, right?"_

"_Call sign's Racetrack. Most people call me Meg, though."_

"_All right, Racetrack. Would you care to explain what the frak you're talking about?"_

"_Word on the ship is the Commander's son got jilted at the altar by some Viper pilot who had been his Academy flight instructor. The deck crew told me she got assigned to our ship and was supposed to be here today. I was just wondering if you were her."_

"_Name's Kara Thrace. Most people call me Starbuck, and my personal life is none of your fraking business. So, I would suggest you, the deck crew, and whoever else might have a death wish just stay out of it."_

_Racetrack's eyes went wide. "Wow. You are not what I pictured."_

"_If you think I'm going to entertain you gossip whores, then you're wrong. I'm here to fly. It's what I do. My personal life doesn't even factor in to it."_

"_Gods, I'm sorry I even asked. I just wanted to know if it was true."_

_A man's voice interrupted, causing Racetrack and Kara to stand down from their little confrontation. "You should have just asked me, Meg. I was the one jilted after all."_

_Kara had to resist the urge to run as the familiarity of Zak's teasing voice stirred something inside of her. She was going to be sick._

"_Could you leave us alone for a little bit?" Zak asked, stepping into the bunkroom._

"_No problem. Just make sure you're in the hangar at 0700. We have a restocking run to make."_

_Racetrack was Zak's ECO. Kara filtered that little bit of information away. She had a lot of ground to make up if she was going to figure out how to keep herself sane for the next three years. It already felt like she was intruding upon Zak's home and she had only been here for an hour. The hatch door slammed shut, causing her to jump._

"_So, how've you been, Kara?"_

_Kara looked at her ex-fiancé in the locker mirror and sighed. She was tired of the way the gods liked to frak with her mind. "Do you really want to do this?"_

"_I want to talk with you," he said calmly. "And it would be nice if you could look me straight in the eye while we did this, but it's not necessary." Zak paused and when she still didn't move, he sighed. "You can't run away from this like you do everything else."_

"_Fine," Kara hissed, slamming the locker shut. "If you want me to ask, I'll just ask. Are you going to make my life hell for the next three years?" As good as it would probably make Zak feel, she knew that any revenge on his part wasn't going to make her feel more guilty than she already did. If he was smart, he'd know that._

"_I'm not going to make your life hell as you so colorfully put it, and honestly, I think I have every right to be stubborn and angry about this. I'm not responsible for making this situation ugly. That was all you if I remember correctly."_

_Kara bit back the urge to apologize as the guilt practically choked her. Her mother had always told her 'I'm sorry' were the two most useless words in their language, and for once, Kara agreed. No argument had ever really been resolved with those words. "What do you want from me, Zak?"_

"_An explanation would be nice. You and I were getting married, Kara. We were two minutes away from closing the deal, and you ran away. I thought you loved me."_

"_I did," she whispered. "I mean, I do."_

"_Then why would you do that?"_

_Kara bit her lip. She knew this moment was going to come, but she didn't think it would be this soon. She wished she had more time to think up what he wanted to hear because it certainly wasn't the truth. Somehow, 'I met your brother and was so insanely attracted to him that I actually thought about calling off the wedding and then I realized what a horrible person that made me and I knew you deserved better than that so I ran for both our sakes' just wasn't going to cut it. Neither was 'I dreamed of fraking your brother the night before we were going to take our eternal vows in front of the gods and that image wouldn't leave my head'. "It was for the best."_

"_Says who?" Zak yelled. "I mean, I know I certainly don't think it was for the best. What would have been for the best was you telling me you were scared shitless of marrying me."_

"_I wasn't scared," Kara whispered._

"_Then what were you? Because the look I saw on your face that day was fear, Kara. I know it because I've seen you look that way at me a million times before. Every time I broke down one of your walls, I got that damned look. I used to think it was cute."_

_Kara moved to sit on the nearest bunk. It was hard to do this when he was standing so close to her. Her love for him was nowhere near gone, and it probably never would be. He had been the first man to really show her what it meant to be wanted. That was just another reason that she couldn't let herself fall back into her love for him. He deserved so much more. "We both knew that this was silly from the beginning, Zak. I was just a conquest for you, and you were another way I could buck the rules."_

"_That's low even for you, Thrace," Zak growled._

"_It's the truth. You know this only started because you wanted to see if you could get the hotshot piloting instructor into the sack. You told me that yourself a few months ago. I thought it was cute at the time."_

_Zak shook his head. "That might be how it started, Kara, but it didn't stay that way for long. I fell in love with you. Frak, I'm still in love with you, even after the shit you pulled!"_

_Kara felt her stomach clench. That was just about the worst thing he could have said, and it was also the one thing she had to hear. He still loved her after she ruined what should have been the happiest day in his life. A man like that was never meant to be with a girl like her. She had done the right thing, leaving him behind. "Zak…" she started._

"_I wanted to give you this," he whispered, grabbing her hand._

_Kara felt her heart knot as he closed her fingers around the silver ring. He probably meant the engagement band to remind her of what she had thrown away, but now the only thing she could see was the way she would have betrayed him if it hadn't been for this tiny scrap of metal. She had been about to give in to her ridiculous lust for his brother when she felt this ring against her skin. That reminder had given her the strength to walk down the aisle, but in the end, she couldn't follow through. "I can't take this back."_

"_I don't want it, Kara." Zak gave her a small smile. "It was always yours anyway."_

"_I can't do this," Kara said, staring down at the metal in her hand. "I'm not strong enough to do this again."_

"_You are the strongest woman I know."_

_Kara looked up at him, and her heart broke a little more. Zak Adama was a good man. He thought she was worried about risking her heart again if they gave it another chance. He was willing to support her through the mood shifts, constant indecision, and complete lack of self-confidence. Too bad she wasn't talking about loving him. Kara knew she could easily let herself fall right back into place by Zak's side. That still wouldn't change the fact that in the end, he would end up hurt and she would end up alone. He deserved more than a girl like her, and she knew she wouldn't be strong enough to give him the option again._

_She stood up and pulled her locker open. The ring made a clang as it hit the back of the locker and rested somewhere on the shelf. She hoped Zak got her point._

"_You're shutting me out again, Kara."_

"_I know," she said. It was funny. For the first time in her life, she didn't have to lie. The truth would be much more effective in breaking his heart. "Listen, Zak. You were sweet to give me the fantasy of a happy life for so long, and I appreciate it. It's just not the kind of life I was cut out for. I'm a pilot, not a wife and mother. I belong in the air."_

"_I wouldn't have grounded you."_

"_You wouldn't have meant to, but in the end, that's what always happened. I can see the way this would have ended up if we got married, and it isn't pretty. It's better for both of us that we just end it here."_

_Zak looked into her eyes for a moment, and after seeing whatever he was looking for, he gave her a small nod. "Can I ask you one last question?"_

"_Shoot," Kara said, banging the locker closed._

"_Did you ever really love me?" When she didn't answer, he kept going. "Because I would never do what you did if I truly loved a person. It isn't the leaving that hurts so much. It's the fact that I know how wrong you are and there's nothing I can do to change that." He gave her a sad smile and turned to leave._

"_I… I'm sorry," she said weakly, turning to face the closed lockers again. She could hear him pause, but then the hatch opened. Kara managed to keep herself together until she heard the hatch shut. Then she was a mess of tears and pain. Her body collapsed onto a bunk._

_Frak! She didn't even have a bunk yet and her life was already two steps away from being unbearable._

_Kara felt a gentle pressure on the mattress and pulled her hands off her face to see a man sitting at the bottom of the bunk. "What the frak are you doing?"_

"_Well, I was coming in to catch a little downtime in my bunk, and now I'm wondering what I did to warrant such a beautiful woman in my bed."_

_Kara felt her cheeks go red. Of course this was someone's bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."_

_She went to move off the bunk when the pilot's hand rested lightly on her shoulder, holding her in place. "Relax, Thrace. I'm not going to bump you out on your ass in your condition."_

"_My condition?"_

"_You know the blubbering and all that."_

"_I do not blubber," she hissed._

"_Whatever."_

_Kara narrowed her eyes at the man sitting across from her. "By the way, how the frak do you know who I am? And do not tell me it was that fraking rumor mill you people are running here."_

"_It gets boring out here in space. When you hear the Commander's son is being stationed on the same ship and he's bringing along the woman who left him at the altar, any newcomer to Galactica becomes very interesting. Then, I pass the youngest Adama in the corridor, his temper flaring every which way, and there's a pretty blond in the bunkroom obviously upset about something. I figured it wouldn't be a longshot to say you were Kara."_

"_No one gets to call me by my first name," she insisted. It was something she had decided on her way to the airspace of Caprica. Kara sounded too much like the woman she had always dared to dream she would become. Starbuck was harder, much more the person she would always be._

"_Well, I guess I'm no one then because I like the name and it's what I'm going to call you. Besides, your call sign is absolutely ridiculous. Starbuck? What does that even mean?"_

"_Why are you being so nice to me?" Kara demanded abruptly._

"_I don't have any reason to be mean. You haven't done anything to me specifically. The Adama family? That's a whole other issue."_

"_I had good reason to do it," she whispered. She hated how these people had already passed judgment without even meeting her._

"_I'm sure you did." It surprised her to realize he was being sincere. He was the first person to believe her when she said she had run away with Zak's interests at heart._

_The man shifted to look at the closed hatch, and Kara suddenly realized she was alone in a bunkroom with a pilot she didn't know. Granted, he was attractive, but she had just started her placement here. She didn't want to frak it up already. "You know who I am, but I don't know who you are."_

"_Lieutenant Karl C. Agathon. Everyone just calls me Helo."_

_Kara studied him for a moment before shaking her head. "Nope. I'm going to call you Karl," she insisted. That brought a smile to his face, which she quickly mirrored._

"_The bunk above me is open," Helo informed her as he slipped off his jacket. "You can either move your sorry ass up there or you can nap with me. I don't care, but I warn you I hog the covers."_

_Kara felt a giggle pass through her lips before she could stop it. She rolled her eyes as she got to her feet. "One question, Karl. What do you do on this ship?"_

"_I'm a Raptor ECO." Helo watched as Kara cringed. "What's wrong with that?"_

"_I fly Vipers. Vipers and Raptors don't mix."_

"_Damn. I was just beginning to think I had a future triad partner on my hands. I've been searching for someone for so long."_

_Kara smiled. "Well then, maybe you and I need to prove everyone wrong. I mean, why can't Vipers and Raptors mix?"_

_Helo yawned as he turned to face the wall. "There's a triad game tonight in the mess. I'll come find you and take you down there."_

_As Helo drifted off to sleep, Kara leaned against the table and watched him. She didn't know who this guy was or whether or not she could actually be his friend. All she knew was he was a gift from the gods. Finally, she found someone who could care less about her mistakes. Maybe he was supposed to be her way to get over Zak. A few fraks with a looker like this Karl Agathon character and she might be completely cured._

_Either way, she figured she just made her first friend in space.

* * *

_

Kara stared at Helo for a few moments before walking over to the table. "I didn't know you were on Atlantia."

"I've been her a while. There was an open slot about five years ago."

Kara's eyes went wide. "Five years ago?"

Helo gave a small nod. "Yeah, I took your slot when you… well, when your transfer request got refused."

"You can say it, Karl. You took my slot when I got kicked out of the military."

"Hate to interrupt this lovely reunion, Helo," said the small deckhand to Helo's right, "but I've got full colors."

"Thank the fraking gods," Helo said, throwing down his cards. When everyone gave him a funny look at his reaction to losing a rather large pot, he smiled. "A really smart woman once taught me that you never step away from a hand of triad, not even if you have no pair and the world is ending."

"Never assume you can't bluff your way into a big win," Kara finished.

Helo grinned at her. "But now that the game's over, I can do this."

Kara's face broke out into a smile as Helo stood up and swept her right off the ground. "Don't you ever disappear on me for five years again, Thrace," he growled into her ear.

The tears cascaded down Kara's cheek as she held on to Helo as tight as she could. Losing him was the one thing she regretted about the decision she had made five years earlier. He had been her best friend on Galactica, being there for her as she dealt with the fallout with Zak and then the mistake she made that day in her Delphi apartment.

"Gods, I wish there had been time to tell you what happened." Kara smiled down at him. Her hands reached out to cup his face, and she placed a light kiss on his lips. "I'm just glad something good came out of it. Atlantia is a great ship. I'm sure she's treating you well."

Helo's grip loosened as he set her down on the ground, but he still kept his arms locked tightly around her. "Here's what I find odd about all that. You worked your ass off to procure your transfer to this specific Battlestar. I remember you telling me that it was either Atlantia or you were going back to teaching on Picon. I never could figure out what that was about."

A guilty look shifted over Kara's face. She should have told Karl about Lee from the beginning. She had hesitated, but it was clear now that he wouldn't have judged her for wanting to be on the same ship as Commander Adama's eldest son. "There was a reason," she explained.

Helo shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. All I want to know is what was so important that you decided to throw away all that hard work."

"The situation changed for me."

"Did it have something to do with _why_ the Colonial Fleet gave you the boot?"

"It's the reason I did what I did that day," Kara admitted.

"Are you ever going to tell me?"

"Soon," she said, her face lighting up with mischief.

"Gods, I missed that smile."

"Are you two going to talk all day or are you doing to introduce us to your lady friend, Helo?" one of the pilots at the table asked.

"Guys, this is Kara Thrace."

"_The_ Kara Thrace? _Starbuck_ Kara Thrace?"

"You're a fraking legend."

"It'd be an honor to have you sit with us, sir."

Helo had to bit his lip to keep from laughing. He had never felt more old than right now, and he knew Kara was probably mortified at being called a legend. He looked up and saw she was holding back a laugh, too. Gods, he had really missed having her by his side.

"This fraking legend is about to kick your asses," Kara said, settling into the open seat. "And you can drop the sir bullshit. I'm not even military anymore."

"Yeah, just call her fraker like the rest of us do," Helo said. He motioned for the cards to be dealt. "And hold on to your underwear, kids. Starbuck doesn't stop until she has you naked with nothing to your name."

Kara let out a laugh and looked down at her cards. If she closed her eyes, she could really imagine that she was still a part of this life.

"So you haven't seen each other in five years?" asked the kid to her right.

Kara nodded. "Not by choice, but yeah, it's been a while."

"Then you don't know our man Helo here has a wife and kids."

"Fraking hell, Karl! You do not!" Kara cried.

Helo snickered and looked down at his cards, slightly embarrassed. He had hoped to tell her in a more private way. "Sharon… you remember Boomer, right? We got married a few years back. She had twins last year."

A puzzled look crossed Kara's face. "I thought your little Raptor pilot was in love with the Chief."

"It didn't work out," Helo said shortly.

Kara could tell this was a touchy subject and decided now was not the time to press the issue. Helo would explain it all later when there wasn't a hundred prying ears around to hear. "So Sharon gave up her wings to be a mommy?"

"It's what she wanted to do. She seems determined to have a large family," Helo explained. "She never really had the heart of a pilot."

"Those fraking gimbals!" Kara exclaimed. "She broke one on every single landing. Any self-respecting pilot would have killed themselves out of respect for the deck crew." She reached over and grabbed a handful of cubits from Helo's pile, throwing them into the pot. "I raise a whole frakload of Helo's money."

The table laughed at Helo's pissed off look, and one of the pilots turned to Kara. "So, Starbuck, do you still fly?"

"No," she said shortly, hoping the sadness in her voice wasn't too noticeable. "I haven't flown since I was stationed on Galactica."

The table seemed to go silent after that exchange, at least until Starbuck laid down two red ladies and cleaned out the pot. Then the players shifted back into their normal taunting and laughing. Kara leaned over to talk with Helo quietly as the rest of the players did their best to beat her at her own game.

Before long, the pilots of Atlantia realized their mistake in engaging Kara in triad without putting a bet limit on the game. They bowed out one at a time until it was only Helo.

"That must have been a record. You finished them out in under an hour."

"I haven't lost my touch. Plus, there's really not a lot to do on a colonial outpost," she replied.

"Colonial outpost? So that's where you've been?"

"It's a long story, Karl, but one I will tell you eventually."

Helo nodded. Like always, he was willing to take Kara at her word. "So, you seemed surprised to see me earlier. I take it I'm not the reason you arranged this little visit to Atlantia?"

Kara shook her head. She didn't even know where to start. She hadn't been kidding when she told Lee this was going to be hard. Her eyes drifted down to her wedding band, and she couldn't help but smile. Lee had been right about one thing. This was worth it.

"Holy frak! Is that what I think it is?" Helo asked as he noticed her hand.

"If you think it's a wedding band, then yes, it is what you think it is."

Helo cocked his head for a moment before nodding. "I get it now. You're here to talk to Lee. It's probably smart to tell him in person."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Helo bit his lip. "As fraked up as this sounds, I think he always had a bit of a thing for you." Kara couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing so hard she had to take a seat on the floor. "What the frak are you laughing about?"

Kara pushed the tears out of her eyes as she tried to calm down. "I just missed how completely clueless you always were. I think saying Lee had a bit of a thing for me is just about the largest understatement you could have made. Lee has been in love with me for years."

"I hope you break it to Apollo gently."

"Break what to me?" Lee asked as he stepped into the briefing room.

Kara held up her left hand. "I got hitched a few weeks ago, Adama."

"Someone was stupid enough to take you on permanently?" Lee shook his head. "What the frak is the world coming to?"

When Kara slipped her hand into Lee's, Helo realized he had missed something. Shouldn't Lee be fraking pissed that Kara was taken, especially if he really did love her? And shouldn't Kara have broken the news to him in a much more gentle fashion? And why the frak were they grinning at each other like idiots?

"Tell me what I missed," Helo demanded, crossing his arms in front of him.

"How can you stand working with such unobservant pilots?" Kara asked Lee. She grabbed Lee's left hand and held it up for Helo to take a look at. "Your CAG has been wearing a wedding ring since he got back from his last leave."

She watched as Helo finally put it together. "You two are married?" He narrowed his eyes. "But you haven't even seen each other since Galactica was decommissioned."

Kara shook her head. "Lee has been your CAG for about two years now. Didn't you once wonder why he was never around when you got shore leave, why he was always commissioning Raptors to take him off planet?"

"He was going to see you," Helo realized.

"For four years," Lee added. "I went to that frakhole in the middle of nowhere for four years, and no one even noticed."

"You're just that fraking good," Kara said, rolling her eyes.

"I guess I should leave you newlyweds alone," Helo said, backing towards the hatch.

Kara gave him a wave. As much as she wanted to catch up with Helo, all she could think of was Lee now that he was before her. "I'll come find you before I leave, Karl."

"You better," Helo said with a smile. "And let me know when you have more time off. I want you to meet the kids, and I know Sharon would love to see you."

Kara nodded and waited until the hatch was shut before turning to punch Lee's shoulder.

"Ow!" he hissed. "What the frak was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me Helo and Sharon were married?"

"You made me promise not to talk about military life. I was just doing what you asked."

"And why didn't you tell me Helo was one of your pilots?"

Lee reached out to touch her cheek. "Because I knew it would only make you sad."

Kara nodded. He was right. Knowing both Lee and Helo were in the one place she could never go would have killed her. It was hard enough when it was just Lee who was out of reach. "So, Major, I'm here on Atlantia. What now?"

"Now I surprise you," Lee said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss before pulling her out into the corridor.


	5. Chapter 5

_Kara took a deep breath and knocked on the hatch door. She had been on Galactica for over a week now. She should have the strength to do this._

_A strong voice beckoned her to enter, and she took one last deep breath. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, Commander, but I have a request for time off."_

"_Pilots have to log some hours before they get passes, Lieutenant. Then the request needs to be submitted in writing for both the XO and the commanding officer's approval." Adama didn't even bother to look up at her. "Anything else?"_

"_With all due respect, sir, I'm aware of protocol. I need you to break it just this once for me."_

_Adama's eyes lifted up to meet hers, and she could see he was intrigued. "Are you expecting special treatment from me because of the previous nature of our relationship?"_

_"No, sir," Kara said, stepping into the office. "In fact, I expect the opposite of you giving me special favors. I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important."_

"_Tell me, Lieutenant Thrace. Do you make it a habit to find ways to break protocol?"_

_There was a hidden meaning laced to the words, and Kara knew that they were talking about Zak now. It was time to just cut to the chase and explain to him why he was going to hand her a pass in the next few minutes. "Sir, this is about your son."_

"_You needing time off has nothing to do with Zak," Adama insisted. "Unless you're planning on using the time to come up with a way to fix what you broke."_

_  
"In a way, I am, sir." Kara moved to stand in front of his desk. "I know Zak's going to be away on assignment with his ECO for the several days. I want to go down to Picon and get the things I left behind from our apar… his apartment. That way I can make this break clean and we'll both get on with our lives. I don't want to see him hurt."_

"_That's very noble of you." Adama set his pen down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. "Tell me, Kara. Why does this situation seem so easy for you? You just strolled into my office to ask me to help you put the last nail in the coffin for my son. You're calm and collected here when a normal person would be emotional."_

"_I learned to hide my discomfort at an early age," she answered honestly. "But please don't assume I'm not hurting, Commander. I love Zak."_

"_Loved," Adama corrected._

_Kara stared at him a moment. She really wasn't sure if she was ready to take on William Adama when it came to loving his son. He had been a total absentee father in Zak's life and yet she had never seen someone so fiercely protective of his child. It was all new to her._

_"It doesn't matter what you feel for Zak, Lieutenant. You knew what you were doing when you left him at the altar. I expect that you're handling this a lot better then him. Unlike you, Zak was blindsided when he found out the woman he loved didn't love him back."_

_Kara wanted to scream at William Adama to wake up and see what was right in front of his eyes. It was killing her to be so close to Zak and not be able to love him. This was the man she had spent months with in the flight simulators, re-teaching him how to fly after that Viper crash damaged the nerves in his right hand. She had spent hours at the hospital and their home trying to convince him his life was not over because he couldn't fly Vipers anymore. She had gone against everything she had ever learned in order to make him see that Raptors were just as important to the Fleet and that he shouldn't feel less of a man because his father pulled some strings to get him assigned to his ship. She had been two steps away from giving up her career with the military to just settle down with Zak in the forests surrounding Caprica City. She loved Zak. That was enough to make her hurt for a lifetime._

"_Do you want to know what it was like after you ran away that day?"_

_Adama's question took her by surprise. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she had forgotten she was even in the Commander's office. "I'm sorry, sir?" she asked. The fear was starting to creep up inside of her already. Adama was asking that question for a reason, and it scared the frak out of her._

"_The day you left my son, he turned to me and said his life was over. He couldn't figure out what he had done wrong to make you want to go."_

"_He didn't do anything wrong," Kara insisted._

"_That's what his mother told him." Adama let out a small chuckle. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen Caroline so mad. She was ready to order the men on my ship to hunt you down, and she hates the military with a passion. Your little decision was making her baby boy hurt, and that is something Caroline cannot accept. Like me, she doesn't forget easily."_

_Kara gave a small nod. She knew William Adama was a good man to serve under, but even he had his limits. There was no way she could co-exist with a man who could have been her father-in-law. Looking at him, she felt the unspoken agreement. If they did their best to avoid each other, then the three years might fly by a little quicker. Now if she could only hold her temper in check, this might work._

"_Dealing with the fallout was left on my shoulders," Adama continued, "as I was the only person who seemed to be coherent enough to handle it. I got to tell my whole family the wedding was canceled, and I couldn't even give them a reason why. You never stuck around to let me know."_

_Kara didn't know what to say to that, so she just stayed silent._

"_The worst part was figuring out what I could do for Zak in the few hours I had left on my pass."_

_Kara fought the urge to shake her head in disgust. She had found it odd that Commander Adama would only request off only enough time to see the ceremony and nothing more. She had asked Zak about it a few weeks before the ceremony, but he just gave her a sad smile and looked away. Now with the Commander staring her down so intently, she understood why Zak hadn't answered her questions. This is not the type of man who thought he had to explain his motives to anyone. You don't ask him why he makes the decisions he does._

"_You left Zak standing at the altar with your wedding rings in hand. He stared at them for hours. We practically had to drag him from the temple. He kept insisting that you were going to come back, that you wouldn't do this type of thing to him. So, Caroline got even more furious, and I was stuck trying to figure out even more of the logistical nightmare you created. You ripped my family's hearts in two, Kara."_

_Kara waited for him to continue, knowing there was one last member of the family he had yet to mention, but he only sat at his desk, waiting patiently for a response. She found herself wondering if he had really forgotten or maybe he just didn't want to tell her how Lee had reacted or somewhere deep in his subconscious he knew what had gone on minutes before she walked down the aisle or maybe there was more to William Adama's relationship with his oldest son than meets the eye. _

"_Sir? Where was Lee during all this? Couldn't he have helped some?" she blurted out, immediately hating that her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She knew the less she talked about Lee, the easier these three years were going to be. It was an added little bit of torment that Kara knew about his part in what happened that day while the rest of his family had no clue. _

_Then again, it was a burden she was willing to bear for the Adama family._

"_From the second you stepped out of the temple, my oldest son seemed to check out. Like Zak, it seems he was devastated. I think Lee really sensed how much Zak was hurting. Honestly, I thought he might lose his temper. Lee is the type of man who would hunt you down and drag you back to the temple by your hair. It was odd that he just sat next to Zak, staring off into space."_

_Kara decided that made sense. Obviously Lee was just concerned for his baby brother's happiness and wanted to give him comfort. It had nothing to do with what happened between them right before she walked down the aisle. The fact that he had come to her and said she looked beautiful meant nothing._

_Kara swore under her breath. She couldn't even get herself to believe that lie._

"_How long of a pass do you need?" Adama asked abruptly._

"_Forty-eight hours should suffice, sir." Kara paused before continuing on. "This will be the end of it. I think with the last reminders of me gone, Zak can finally accept I'm not coming back."_

"_Are you sure that's true?"_

_Kara wanted to swear. It seemed all the Adama men had a way of seeing right through her. "It has to be true, for Zak's sake. If I stay, I'll only hurt him again, and I don't want to do that."_

_  
William Adama watched her for a minute before pulling a piece of paper out of a folder. "This is an emergency pass. No one will question it, but all the same, don't talk about what emergency warranted its being given to you."_

"_Thank you, sir," Kara said, giving him a small smile. "I'm… sorry for the pain I caused you."_

"_Save your apologies for someone who needs to hear them."_

"_I already apologized to him, sir, even though I know it's not enough."_

_Adama was already engrossed in his papers again, and Kara figured that was his way of dismissing her. It didn't matter how much the Commander hated her. She had gotten what she needed, and if she was lucky, she wouldn't have to talk to him every again. A Battlestar's commanding officer lives a very separate life from those who comprise his pilot roster and the crew._

_She had about a week before the next civilian shuttle to Picon leaves. That was plenty of time for her to figure out how she was going to face the ghosts of her past without breaking down.

* * *

_

"Where are you taking me, Lee?" Kara asked. She was starting to regret letting him cover her eyes as they went down corridor after corridor.

"I'm not telling," he whispered in her ear, and she had to fight back the memories of where they usually were when he was this close to her.

"Frak!" Kara hissed as her foot came into contact with something hard and metallic.

"Sorry," Lee apologized.

"I am going to kick your ass if I end up hurt for this stupid surprise."

"Don't you trust me?" Lee asked.

Kara shivered as he went back to that damn seductive voice he usually saved for when they were in bed. "Of course I trust you, Lee. I just like to have bones that are unbroken." There were whispers all around her as Lee continued to lead her down the corridor. "Being with you in public is strange."

Lee pulled her to a stop and let out a small laugh. "You'll get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

She could feel the cool metal of his wedding band against her closed eyelid and knew he wasn't lying. They had vowed in front of the gods that this love would last their whole lifetime and beyond. Kara was going to do all she could to make that happen.

A metal hatch creaked as they continued to walk. Kara could hear the whispering get louder before cutting off completely. "Lee?" she said hesitantly.

"You said you trusted me, Kara," he reminded.

"I do. I just don't like it when everyone else knows something I don't."

"There was no way to avoid people on this one," he said cryptically.

"So this means you're not taking me off to some equipment locker or empty observation deck to have your way with me?"

"Not this time," Lee teased

"Because nothing could be a better surprise then some rack time with you, Adama."

"Actually, there is one thing," he said as he pulled her to a stop.

His hands came away from her eyes, and she took a look around. "Frak, Lee. I thought you said you weren't taking me to an equipment locker."

"We're not staying here. I just wanted to say something to you before you get the surprise." Lee leaned in to kiss her forehead lightly. "I love you, Kara. Even though I don't get the chance to say that often, I do. We've been through a lot to get to this point."

"That's the understatement of the year," she smirked.

"When I got back to Atlantia a few weeks ago, I requested a meeting with the Admiral."

Kara's eyes went wide. "You talked to Nagala?"

"I explained to him the situation. I was married to a military exile, and she was going to be frequently visiting this Battlestar in complete compliance to the spouse regulations in the Colonial Fleet charter." Lee chuckled. "I was scared shitless of what he was going to say to my little rant."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me my wife's name. When I said it was you, he congratulated me."

Kara's eyes went wide. "What the frak?"

"That's what I was thinking. It turns out Admiral Nagala noticed the flying you did when you were assigned to Galactica, and he reminded me you were about to transfer to Atlantia when you got kicked out of the military. I wanted to tell him that you're not being here was all my fault."

Kara bit down on her bottom lip to hold the smile in. She didn't like it when Lee remembered how much power he had over her. It went straight to his head.

"Nagala told me I had picked a fine wife, and he wanted to give me a gift. He offered to give me a month off for a proper honeymoon."

Kara's mouth dropped open. "That's fantastic! I always loved that man!"

Lee shook his head. "I turned him down, Kara."

"Are you stupid?" she exclaimed, pulling out of his arms. "Why the frak would you do something like that?"

"There was something else I wanted." Lee gave her a mischievous smile before walking over to the hatch. "I think this will mean a lot more to you than if the Admiral had given me a whole year off."

Kara stepped through the open hatch into the rather deserted hangar bay. Her eyes fell on the pair of Mark VIIIs sitting side by side. She turned to give her husband a look of bewilderment. "Lee?"

"You and I are going to show the pilots how it's done, Kara," he said, giving her a wink.


	6. Chapter 6

_Kara's hands were shaking as she walked down the hallway. She still felt out of place. This was the nice part of Picon that had all the apartments she would never be able to afford. The first few months she had lived here, she had been too freaked out to even go in through the front entrance. It was the back door for girls like Kara Thrace._

_The apartment key was digging into her palm. She was holding it that tight._

_It had seemed like a good idea to come here while Zak was away. Getting it over with was all part of the process of healing and moving on. It was natural to feel a little nervous, though. She was slamming the door on the love she had for Zak._

"_You're a fraking coward," Kara said, staring at the door. Her fingers traced the gouges around the keyhole. They were from Zak frantically trying to flip the lock while her hands in his pants already had him halfway to release. There was a large gash in the middle of the door from the time they hadn't made it. Someone had fixed the number seven on the door. It no longer hung on its side._

_Sighing, she pushed the key into the lock on the first try. The door creaked slightly as it opened. She had always meant to grease it. Kara dropped her small bag onto the floor and took a look around. It was exactly how she remembered it._

_This was the first place she had ever called home._

_She placed her key chain on the table by the door. That way Zak would see it first thing when he came home on leave. She didn't want it to pop up on him out of nowhere like it would if she put it on the bedside table or the counter in the kitchen. It would cause him more pain if she didn't make a big thing out of it._

_The pain actually started to fade from the second Commander Adama handed her the official acceptance for her leave request. Things had been going extraordinarily well since she made this decision. Coming here was giving her as much closure as she hoped it would give Zak. Hell, she had even started wondering if maybe this Karl Agathon guy would be a good rebound guy for her. She had been getting "I want to frak you so hard" vibes from him for the past couple days. She could use the distraction right about now._

_  
"Maybe I should have asked the Commander to tack his name onto the pass," she joked. She glanced around the apartment not sure where to begin. There were signs of her presence all over this place. She had never been a neat person Her feet and stomach walked her into the kitchen without much conscious thought so she figured that was the place to start. What she saw made her freeze in her tracks._

_She had been prepared for anything, ranging from the apartment looking exactly like the day Zak had asked her to move in with him to it being ripped to shreds like any scorned lover would do. She wasn't ready for the Adonis clad in military sweats and no shirt, standing in front of the stove and cooking up a healthy pan of scrambled eggs. _

_Scratch that, she corrected. This was even worse than an Adonis. This was an Apollo._

_Lee's eyes were wide as he took in the sight of her, the woman who had so swiftly broken his little brother's heart. He had thought he would never see her again. There was no way a woman like that could find her way back into his life. Half the time, he hoped that was true, and she would stay far, far away from him. It was safer. The other half, Lee found himself praying to the gods that he would run into her every time he was on a planet. That was the half that happened more frequently, much to his annoyance._

"_You're in Zak's apartment," he spit out._

"_So are you," she pointed out, walking over to the small kitchen table. Her hands reached out blindly until she felt a chair. She wasn't sure if she could handle this._

_They continued to silently stare at each other for what felt like an eternity. The kitchen filled with smoke, and Lee realized his eggs were burning. Taking the pan off the stove, he threw its hot contents straight into sink and sighed. They were going to have to speak sometime. "Zak asked me to live in his place for a little while. He said he couldn't handle the memories." Lee looked over his shoulder at Kara. The look on her face told him he didn't have to explain what memories he was talking about._

"_I'm here to get my stuff. He doesn't know."_

_Lee nodded. His eyes looked down at the ruined breakfast in front of him. Turning to Kara, he smiled, "Hungry?"_

_Whatever was in that awkward question seemed to please her. Her face, which had been full of worry and pain, broke out into a large smile. Who knew he could make her smile just by offering eggs._

_Lee walked over to the fridge and got out the remaining eggs. He hoped there was enough. The stove was still hot from his previous attempt so the eggs started cooking right away._

"_You're limping."_

_Kara's voice surprised him, but her question did not. She had always been perceptive._

"Frak, Lee. Where did that come from?" _he scolded himself. He had known her for what added up to only two days. He had no right to think he had any idea who she was or what she had always been. "I hurt my leg. It was stupid. I wasn't watching where I was going, and I rammed right into a Viper." He tensed as Kara burst into laughter, but after a moment, he joined her. "It's not funny," he insisted._

"_Then why are you laughing, flyboy?" she asked.._

_The way she said that word, like it was her secret pet name for him, made them both stop laughing immediately._

"_I don't know why I said that," Kara blurted out. She could feel her skin turning pink. How the frak could this man make her feel uncomfortable for calling him something simple like flyboy when she had gone to the brig for drunk and disorder every other day and never once felt embarrassed? She hadn't even felt this mortified when she was dared to streak across the Academy campus as a triad bet and then caught by her superior officer._

"_They gave me three weeks off my feet to recoup. Doc says I didn't break any bones so at least I'm not a complete moron." Lee took two bowls out of the cabinet and dumped a healthy portion of eggs into each. He limped over to the table and set one down in front of Kara. "It's killing me not to be in the air."_

_  
"I know," Kara agreed. "That was part of my teaching contract with the Academy. I had to be in the air every day if they wanted me to keep from killing the nuggets." She looked over at Lee and saw understanding in his eyes. He knew what it was like to crave the feeling of flight._

_Lee watched her gaze shift down to his bare chest, and he could practically feel her eyes bearing into him. He winked at her before reaching over to grab his shirt off the table. He was rewarded with a soft blush creeping up her cheeks as she stared intently at the eggs. "So you're here to get your stuff?"_

_Kara looked up at him. "I thought it would be easy. A simple snatch and grab is the kind of thing they trained us for in Academy."_

_  
"The Academy curriculum doesn't factor in the emotional part," Lee pointed out, shoving a massive scoop of eggs into his mouth. "At least, they didn't have that course when I was there." He glanced over to see Kara staring at him in disgust. "What?"_

"_Are you going to chew?"_

_He chuckled lightly. "Sorry. I've been living in this place for two weeks now with no human contact. I've forgotten all the manners my mom tried to beat into me when I was little."_

"_It's not hard. Chew, swallow, and _then _talk." Kara took a small bite of eggs. "So, how's life on the Atlantia? If I remember correctly, that's where you're assigned."_

_Lee's face lit up in admiration, and Kara realized she probably shouldn't have let him know she remembered what was only supposed to be a small detail told in passing. "It's good. Atlantia has the best of the best working on her."_

"_Sounds like heaven. Half the crew on Galactica seems to be two steps short of becoming Fleet rejects."_

_  
"That's the way my father's ship has always been," Lee verified. "It has something to do with his being decommissioned as a pilot when the Cylon War ended. I think he felt like he was a reject who had been given a second chance. He just wants to give other people the same opportunity."_

"_What does that say about me?" Kara asked quietly._

_Lee's face whitened. He hadn't meant it like that._

_Kara pushed her half-eaten breakfast away. "I should probably start gathering up my things. It took me almost a day to get here, and it'll probably take me just as long to get back. My pass doesn't have much leeway to it." She didn't wait to hear Lee's response. She just pushed out her chair and stepped back into the living room. There wasn't much to gather. She had never been the type of girl to carry around personal possessions. Most of her past was only worth the willpower it took her to forget it._

_By the time she was ready to tackle the bedroom, her bag had a couple music discs, a small painting she was making for Zak's next birthday, and a pair of earrings she had left on the TV the last time she was here. It was a relief to see that her clothes had been boxed up. If she had had to take them down from next to Zak's, she might have changed her mind about doing the right thing._

_Kara sat down on the bed and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand. Inside was the Book of Pythia the priestess had given her on her tenth birthday. It was the one possession she had taken with her whenever she began a new phase of life. A small scrap of paper fell out of the book and slowly floated to the ground. Kara reached down to grab it. She didn't have to look at it to know what it was._

_In all their time together, Zak had written her one letter. In it, he had explained everything he was willing to give up if she would only give him a chance. He said he would quit the Academy so they could be seen in public together. He would move to a distant Battlestar if she decided she couldn't handle living anywhere but in the sky. He would do anything for her. All she had to do was take a small step forward and trust him. That was the day she realized Zak Adama loved her._

_The tears fell down to pool on the folded piece of paper in her hand, and Kara felt all the pain came flooding back. She loved Zak, even if no one believed her. She had done everything for his sake._

"_They don't understand things like love and heartbreak and pain and self-sacrifice."_

_Lee's voice made her look up. He was leaning on the doorway, and his face was a stone wall. She hadn't even heard him coming down the hall. "Excuse me?"_

"_Some people don't understand what you're doing, Kara, but I do. I guess it takes someone willing to give up anything to make Zak happy to know how much you love him." Lee sighed. "I thought about trying to explain it to my parents, but I knew they wouldn't get it. Zak's their baby boy. He was born to be protected."_

_Kara sniffed slightly. She hated that she was showing such weakness to a complete stranger, but somehow she just couldn't stay strong when she was sitting on the bed she had once shared with Zak. Her eyes drifted down to the Book of Pythia in her hands. "Sometimes I wonder if the gods have forsaken me," she whispered. "Otherwise, why would they have allowed that day to happen?" She felt the bed shift as Lee sat down next to her. For a second, she wondered if she should stand up. She already knew she tended to lose her senses when Lee was close. _

"_You weren't alone that day," he whispered. "I was right there with you, and for that, I'll always feel guilty."_

_His words seemed to give her what she had been looking for, even though she still didn't know what that was. "I made the right choice, didn't I?"_

"_I can't say," he replied honestly. "I don't know why you chose to run, Kara. All I know is I look into your eyes and I can see you love him. Whatever you're doing, whatever you did, it was out of love for my brother. I trust you wouldn't do anything to hurt him unless there was no other way."_

_Kara turned to look at the window. The Picon sun was shining straight onto where she sat. She could remember all the mornings she had curled up next to Zak as the warm rays of light washed over them. Life had been simpler back then when she was just a Academy flight instructor sleeping with a former student. There had been black and white. There was none of this grey that seemed to clog up her every thought and action nowadays._

_A slight movement made her turn to look back at Lee. He pulled something from his pocket and held it out for her to take. "I wasn't sure why I've been carrying this around. My mom gave it to me on a whim last time I was on Caprica. I thought about sending it to you, but I hesitated. I wasn't sure if you would understand what I was trying to say."_

_Kara turned the thick paper over to reveal a photo of herself and the two Adama brothers. It was from the eve of her wedding. They were laughing. It was before all the pain she caused. Zak looked like he always did in photographs. He was laughing and joking, being the typical cheerful guy everyone expected him to be. She was standing to the side, her eyes averted from the two men beside her with a curious expression pasted on her face. Lee was smiling in the middle of the photograph, but she could tell it was only out of awareness that they were being photographed. His eyes weren't laughing._

_Kara realized with a start that was because he wasn't looking at Zak and he wasn't looking at the camera. He was looking at her._

_Suddenly, she knew what he had been trying to tell her before. It hadn't all been in her imagination. What had occurred between them had really happened._

"_Listen, Kara. I know a place in Delphi that's willing to lease out cheap apartments to pilots. You need to have a place to come home to when you're given downtime."_

_  
Kara gave him a small smile. "Well, aren't you the practical one?"_

"_That's what my mother always said." Lee reached across her to grab a pen and paper off the table. He scribbled down a number and address and handed it over to Kara. "Don't let them charge you too much. These places are really crappy, but they're the best you're going to do on a Viper pilot's salary. Just call that number when you get back on Caprica. I'm sure you can set things up on the phone, especially if you drop my name."_

"_Thank you for everything," Kara whispered._

"_I'm just helping out a fellow Viper jock in need," he joked. They both knew that was a lie. This wasn't just an example of pilot comradery. He had some guilt he needed to work off just like her._

_Kara sighed and got to her feet. "I think I've gotten everything." Her eyes rested on the boxes. "I can't believe he boxed up my things."_

"_I did that," Lee admitted sheepishly. "I figured it would be best for Zak if when he came back, he didn't see your things in his closet."_

"_Great minds think alike. Would you mind sending them to me when I've settled down?"_

_Lee nodded. "I'll be here for another week or so. Just send me the address and I'll get them out of here."_

_Kara was halfway out the door before she turned to look back at him. He had been watching her. "Thanks for the eggs, Lee."_

"_Anytime," he said, nodding._

_They both knew there was a lot more to that last exchange, but they couldn't admit it. It would be too painful.

* * *

_

"Lee." Hearing her voice echo back through the ship-to-ship comm system was like heaven. It had been five long years since she heard her own voice.

"Yes?"

"This is the first time we've flown together."

She heard Lee pause and knew he was thinking the same thing she was. "Really? I feel like we've done this a thousand times before."

"No, we haven't. You were never on Galactica, and I was never on Atlantia or Solaria."

She heard him humph. "Well, that's odd."

"You know, I used to have a few nuggets in one of my classes that insisted you could determine whether a person was your soul mate simply by flying with them. They said if the fit was right, it was like fraking in the sky."

"Do we really need to go through that?" Lee shot back.

"I'd like to see it." Kara pulled her Viper up next to him. "I've never fraked in the sky."

"Well, let me be your first then, Mrs. Adama."

Their ships went through an elaborate series of flips, turns, and spirals as they both called to mind flying patterns they hadn't used in years. Lee knew if he hadn't trusted Kara as completely as he did, his hesitations would have caused them to crash several times over. It was odd. He had known her for seven years, and yet he had never seen her fly in person. All he had to go on was the long-buried reports that she was the best pilot to come out of the Academy since the days of the Cylon War. Yet by knowing her and loving her, he put his life in her hands without pause.

This was what all those stupid fairytales and prophecies had meant when they talked about true love. It was a lot messier than they would lead you to believe.

When finished, the complicated set of maneuvers left them struggling to regain their breath. "Frak me, I'm in trouble," Lee laughed over the comms.

Kara tensed up immediately. "You think Nagala's going to be mad that we really pushed these things to the limit?"

"No, he's going to be proud these machines held up. What I meant is I'm going to be in trouble with my pilots. I wasn't lying when I said we were going to show them how it was done. Most of them are on the starboard observation deck, watching us. I wanted to give them a little show as a boost to morale. Now they're going to eat me alive. I always stress keeping your head in the game and not doing anything reckless. You're a horrible influence, Kara."

"You're not as by the book as you'd like them to think," she pointed out. "And anyway, it'll be good for them to see their CAG cutting loose for a change. Maybe they can actually start relating to you." Kara wondered if maybe she had gone too far with that comment. It had taken Lee a long time to tell her how he struggled with some of the new pilots, and here she was, throwing it back into his face at the first opportunity.

"I hope some good does come out of this," Lee said. "Besides, the fact that my pilots are going to be insanely jealous of how talented my wife is."

"Don't forget beautiful."

"Never."

They drifted side by side in space, words filtering back and forth between them on the comms, until their ships signaled low fuel. "Would you like to do the honors?" Lee asked his wife.

Kara smiled at him through the cockpit glass. "Atlantia, Starbuck and Apollo. Requesting permission to land."


	7. Chapter 7

_Kara scowled at the painting in front of here. After five hours, there was still something missing._

"_Frak me," she hissed, setting her paint brush down and wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Painting was supposed to be a relaxing way to spend her mandatory downtown. It turned out the Old Man wasn't happy when his pilots went a year straight without requesting a leave pass to the Colonies, even if that pilot was the one that ruined his son's life._

_Kara let out a deep sigh. Things had gotten better when it came to Zak, but it taken her so much time and effort to get to this point. She was exhausted._

_Zak had come up to her before she left Galactica. He said he wanted to wish her well on her much needed break, but she knew better. Zak had pried and poked until she finally admitting to renting this little rat hole of an apartment in Delphi. He had actually been concerned that she was just going to set up shop in a Picon bar for the whole of her two week break._

_The words they shared had soothed away the last of the hurt she had inflicted upon herself. They had a normal conversation like any two friends would be. There was no feelings of longing and no sudden admission that there was still love between them. She could now look back and see that she had made the right decision._

_  
Zak was too young to be settling down. He was your stereotypical pilot, dedicated to his job and his people, showing both facets every night at the triad tables. Kara had been forced to use her steadily increasing influence on the officers of Galactica to get him out of the brig far too many times. He didn't know that, of course. Zak had taken a special liking to the green stuff, but that wasn't anything new. Kara had always heard Raptor pilots were partial to ambrosia. She was more of a beer gal. Most Viper pilots were._

_There had been a silent agreement about six months ago by Kara, Zak, and his father to put the past behind them. They all knew that nothing would come out of dwelling on things which couldn't be changed. Kara made it clear to Zak that she wasn't backing down, and everyday she believed it more. _

_If she wanted to point fingers as to how she managed to get control of her feelings for Zak, she would have to give all the credit to Helo. Her instincts had been right. He was just the man to make her get over Zak, though it wasn't in the way she thought._

_She had thrown herself at him the first chance she got, and he had flat out rejected her. He told her he didn't like to take on extra baggage and fraking her would do just that. A massive wave of hurt had washed over her until Helo simply smiled and pulled her into his arms. He had whispered that he already loved her too much to ruin what they had, and that small admission made a dam break inside of her. He held on tight as she finally let herself feel the grief that had built up for over twenty-three years._

_That was the day she fell in love with Karl Agathon. She let him know it in the only way she could. She routinely won all his money and worldly possessions at the triad table._

_Kara's eyes shifted to the picture taped on the window next to her easel. She didn't know why she brought it with her planetside, but it felt good to look over and see it. She figured that was pretty fraked up._

_Her eyes fell down to the piece of paper and small pin on the bedside table. Commander Adama had handed her the promotion notice right before she stepped onto the shuttle to Caprica. She was a full-blown Lieutenant now. There was nothing Junior about it._

_Honestly, that was what surprised her most. She had thought her time on Galactica would be more horrible than she could imagine. That was before she fell in love with the ship and realized what a gift it was to have William Adama as a commanding officer. The war veteran and his ship seemed to understand her on a level she hadn't even known existed. Lately, she had even planned her morning runs so that her path intersected the Commander's. They had developed a routine._

_Things were still unspoken between them, but it seemed like she might actually get a good recommendation from her time on Galactica. She wouldn't let herself admit why that meant so much to her._

_Kara looked back at her painting and swore. "Fraking thing is never going to be finished," she hissed, standing up. Her eyes landed on the bag next to the bed. It had been barely touched since she entered the apartment. She had simply unzipped it for long enough to grab her picture and promotion notice and then closed it right back up. A box from the bottom of her closet was ripped open, and she found herself a pair of shorts and a white tank. She had forgotten how hot Caprican summers could get when you had an apartment that was years away from entering the air conditioning era. She had been wearing the same clothes for a week straight. She had started painting and couldn't stop herself. There were breaks to eat and breaks to sleep, but other than that, she painted._

_She had a lot of pain to get out._

_She realized with a start she was still staring at the bag. It was like the thing was mocking her by its zipped-ness. There were things inside it that wanted out._

"_I'm not a coward," Kara said, marching over to look down at it. "You hear me, bag? I'm not scared of you." A small laugh slipped past the closed line of her lips. Helo had always told her she would crack up one day. She just didn't think it wouldn't be over something as silly as a letter._

_Kara kneeled down and unzipped the bag. Her hand reached in to riffle around until she felt the smooth envelope. She should be congratulating herself . She had lasted seven whole days without giving in to the urge. Her previous record had only been twenty-nine hours._

_There were currently nine envelopes just like this one shoved in the back of her locker on Galactica. She kept them weighted down with a silver ring. It helped her remember things she had no right to forget. In her head, she liked to think there was an identical nine envelopes in a locker on Atlantia, but she was pretty sure she was the sentimental one._

_Sighing, she sat down on the bed and tucked her legs up underneath her chin. Her finger went out to run along the seal of the letter. It opened with a satisfying rip._

_He didn't have much to say this time. His CAG was a stupid fraker that never let him forget he was his father's son. His wingman should never have graduated War College, let alone received a coveted assignment on Atlantia. He had made his thousandth landing a few weeks earlier, and his CAG didn't even take the time to find red paint. Instead, he got the blue some of the crew had been using to detail the new Mark VIIs._

_Like all other letters he wrote, it was dry. Only the facts were allowed between them. Anything else was too dangerous._

_Lately, even the facts were starting to border on dangerous._

_She hadn't known it at the time, but giving Galactica as her forwarding address on this apartment had been a spectacularly good decision. It also was a massive risk she had even known she was taking. She could only imagine what would happen if Zak or his father found out she had this relationship with Lee._

_Kara finished reading the letter and tucked it into the rest of the unread mail on her bedside table. She wasn't sure if she was going to take this one back to Galactica. Someone might start asking questions. A pilot didn't bring anything back to their ship when they came off leave. It meant they were attached to something, and attachments got you killed._

_The painting was calling to her again, and Kara answered. Sitting down, her brush reached for the blue paint, and she covered up the huge red blotch in the bottom corner. Lee had been wrong. Sometimes blue could be better than red._

_A knock interrupted her sudden inspiration, and Kara swore loudly. "Go the frak away. This is a private residence and I don't want to be disturbed by some fraking Colonial Scout trying to hock me boxes of horribly overpriced cookies that will only make me fat!"_

_Her answer was another loud knock, and she threw her brush against the wall. If they couldn't take a hint, she was pretty sure they could take a punch to the face. At least that way she wouldn't be misunderstood._

_She clambered up the stairs and flung the door open, ready to kill whoever had broken her concentration. The words of irritation caught in her throat as she stared at the man on her doorstep. A look of confusion spread across her face, and she knew she should probably be asking him what the frak he was doing here but the words still wouldn't come out._

"_I need a place to crash for a day or so," Lee said. His smile told her that he was nervous of what her response would be._

_Kara knew she should tell him he was fraking insane and slam the door in his face, but for some reason, the ability to speak had abandoned her. Her hands definitely weren't going to be slamming anything any time soon._

_Lee shifted slightly and looked down at the ground. "Look, Kara. I could say I had nowhere else to go or there was nothing else for me to do, but we both know that would be a lie. So are you going to let me in or not?"_

_The door pushed open the rest of the way, and it took her a second to realize it hadn't done it on its own._

_Lee stepped past her and walked down the stairs as if he showed up on her doorstep all the time. She silently followed him. He dropped his bag on the floor next to the bed, and it rested against her own discarded bag. She watched his eyes scan the place she hadn't decided to call home yet._

_He obviously saw something he liked because he made his way over to her easel. She watched him stare for a few minutes and wondered if maybe he was going to give her some constructive criticism on how crappy her art had become. Then she realized he wasn't looking at the painting._

"_What's with the line?"_

_Kara stared at the faint fold line that separated one Adama brother from the other. She had folded the photograph for the first time a few months ago, not really sure why at the time. It had been Zak's birthday, and life just seemed a little too unfair. It had been an impulse, one that she quickly corrected, but she couldn't take the fold lines back. She had folded and unfolded it a hundred times since then. _

_She tried to figure out a way to explain this to Lee when she didn't even know how to explain it to herself. The best she could do was "Sometimes the pain gets to be too much." After a few seconds, she added, "And sometimes I just like to imagine what it would have been like if things were different."_

_Lee's fingers reached out to trace the line, and he looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me which way you fold it."_

"_It's better if I don't," she pointed out. Her eyes shifted to the letter on her bedside table. It was odd. She had just wished she could hear his voice instead of just reading his words, and now here he was. "I got your letter."_

"_I was wondering if it would make it in time."_

"_How'd you know I was here?" she asked out of the blue._

"_My father called me to suggest I put off the visit to see our mom. Zak and I had been planning it for over a month. I figured there could only be one reason why he would do that."_

_Kara nodded even though she wasn't sure what that meant about William Adama. Did he mean to keep Kara away from Lee or keep her away from Zak? Did he demand she take time off so that his sons wouldn't want to visit their mother or did he actually think she deserved a break? Was he afraid that Zak would run into her by chance or did he know that Lee would seek her out?_

_Frankly, she didn't think she wanted to know the answer to any of those questions._

"_You look exhausted," Lee said, and Kara realized he had been staring at her._

"_I've been painting."_

_"You should have taken a break."_

"_I did. I took a break to eat and sleep."_

"_Now as often as you should have," he pointed out._

_Kara knew he was right. She was running herself into the ground, and she honestly didn't care._

_Lee shrugged his jacket off and threw it on the bed. Silently he walked over to the music player and put in a random music disc. Kara was surprised to hear the opening bars of her father's favorite song float through the air. Lee moved past her again to take a seat on the couch, and the weight of his body sank into the cushions. He grabbed an old blanket she had thrown there hastily when she unpacked some random stuff a few days ago and looked up at her expectantly. To Kara's credit, she hesitated._

_Then her resolve faded and she took a seat next to him. He laid the blanket around her body and gave her a smile. "This is a nice song."_

"_It's my father," she said. Somehow, she wasn't surprised how easily she shared such an important part of her life with Lee. It had taken her months before she even let Zak know her father had been a musician, let alone that she had multiple recordings of his works which she played every night before falling asleep._

_The soft melody of her father's piano playing lulled her to sleep rather quickly. She felt Lee move his arm around her shoulder as she faded off, and she knew she didn't have the energy to fight it this time.

* * *

_

"I can't believe you kept this place," Lee said as Kara pushed the door to her apartment open.

"I couldn't stand to let the old girl go to some other frak-up pilot," Kara admitted. She sank down into the dusty couch and pulled out the letter Helo had handed her before they left Atlantia. He had tried to write down everything he knew about where the old crew from Galactica had ended up. Kara smirked. Even after five years of not speaking, Karl still knew exactly what she wanted and needed.

Most of what he had to say didn't surprise her. Specialist Cally was now the Chief on Triton. Kara had always known that girl had the chops. Petty Officer Dualla had quit the military to start her own communication company. Kara had always gotten the feeling that the military wasn't the place for Dee to be. Seelix was on her way to being the top resident at the most prestigious hospital in the Twelve Colonies. Kara had seen Seelix spending her off-hours in sickbay enough times to not be surprised by this.

The one thing that did surprise her was the update on her old Chief, Galen Tyrol. It was short, which was to be expected. There had to be some bad blood there considering Boomer had been Tyrol's girlfriend before she was Helo's wife. It really didn't seem like Tyrol was hung up on that, though. After Galactica was decommissioned, he took the Chief job on Solaria and then, one year later, married the most cutthroat reporter in the Twelve Colonies, D'anna Biers. They were expecting their first child in a few months. Kara had no idea how that happened.

Trying to shove old memories and new revelations out of her head, Kara set the letter down and watched Lee as he looked around the dirty apartment. His eyes landed on the windowsill and the place where her easel had once stood, and he shook his head.

"Bringing back old memories?" Kara asked. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Lee's face went white, and his eyes looked first at the window and then at the couch. She knew he was remembering what had happened all those years before. "I shouldn't have said that."

Lee didn't correct her as his attention shifted to the stairway wall. "That's new."

Kara looked over at the physical representation of her guilt. There were slashes of color and black words covering every inch of the wall. "I did that after…" Her voice faded off.

"Did it help?" Lee asked, stepping back to stand beside her.

"Not really." His hand slipped into hers without much thought, and she smiled. "But what I finished after it did."

Lee gave her a curious look and was rewarded with a sly smile. Kara pulled her hand away from him and walked over to the small nook that had served as her bedroom. She reached behind the headboard and pulled out a canvas covered in plastic. Lee knew what it was even before it was unwrapped. Kara had struggled with that painting for a week before he showed up on her doorstep and then five days after that. Back then, she had told him she never thought she would solve it.

"It's magnificent," he whispered, taking it from her hands. There were swirls of blue mixed in with green, and he could see a faint red vibrating through the paint. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He tore his eyes away from the canvas to look up at her. "I can't believe you finished it."

She gestured at the back wall. "Something clicked inside me after I did that. I guess I needed to get rid of my aggression and guilt." She looked down at the art in Lee's hands. "The painting didn't want it."

Lee stared at her a minute before setting the painting down on the empty easel in front of him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kara?"

She thought his question over for a few seconds before nodding. "We did nothing wrong, Lee, not one fraking thing."

Lee leaned in to kiss the top of her head. "That doesn't mean you're not scared to death of seeing my mother again."


	8. Chapter 8

_A day or so had turned into five, and he was still here. Kara had a feeling he planned on staying for the last two days of her leave, too. She found she didn't mind._

_She heard the water shut off in her tiny bathroom. She knew she should grab some fresh clothes and take her own shower. Lee had promised to take her to the park by his old house, the one he kept telling her she needed to paint. She looked back down at the incomplete painting in front of her as the bathroom door opened. She still hadn't been able to figure out what it was missing, and it seemed the canvas wasn't going to let her out of its sight until she came to a conclusion._

"_Maybe a little yellow at the top?" Lee suggested. Kara squinted her eyes at the painting and dabbed the color on. She felt Lee sigh and wondered when he had gotten that close. "That didn't work," he said, and she could tell he was concentrating. The painting seemed to be bugging him as much as it was her._

"_I'm about to throw this thing aw-" Her words cut off as she turned to look at him. "Frak, Lee! Would you put some clothes on?" she yelled._

"_I left my bag out here," he explained, clutching the towel a little tighter around his waist. "I didn't know it was going to freak you out."_

"_It's not freaking me out," she lied. "I just wasn't expecting to have a half-naked man in my apartment this morning. Couldn't you have found a bigger towel?"_

"_The big towels are all dirty."_

_Kara nodded and turned back to her painting. "I hate doing laundry," she said, like that explained everything._

"_Well, then you have to suffer the consequences."_

_Kara wished she was brave enough to let him know she wasn't suffering, at least not in the way that caused you pain unless it was the pain of feeling too good. She dabbed a little more blue paint onto the canvas and frowned. "Why isn't this working?" When Lee didn't respond, she twisted to look at him._

_Lee was still standing next to her, but now he was openly staring at her. She fought the urge to shiver. "What are you staring at?"_

"_There's some paint on your chin." Kara moved to rub it away, but Lee's hand stopped her. She watched helplessly as something shifted in his face and he smiled. "Let me."_

_His fingers reached out to rub gently at her chin. She couldn't help but feel her skin heat up under his touch. He lingered on the side of her jaw a minute before his hand moved to slowly trace a path down the crook of her neck._

"_I think the paint's gone," Kara whispered, her eyes wide, her whole body raked with nerves._

"_Just a little more," Lee insisted._

_She could feel his head begin to lower towards her neck when a loud knock sounded on the front door. "I should get that," she said, pulling back._

_Lee shook his head. "They'll go away." Another knock sounded to prove him wrong. "We can just ignore it," he suggested._

_Kara was debating on whether or not it was smart to ignore what was probably the gods' way of giving her a way out when she heard the door knob turn. Frak! She must have forgotten to lock it when she came back from the grocery that morning._

"_Kara?"_

_The pained voice made her suddenly aware that Lee was a little too close to her for comfort. She pushed him away and ran over to the stairs. "What are you doing here, Zak?" she asked._

_Zak looked down at her. "You forgot to sign a few of the papers before you left Galactica. Things have been slow so I volunteered to bring them down to you. If I had known you were busy…"_

_Kara could tell the exact moment that Zak realized who she was with. His voice had been hiding the pain she knew he must be feeling at finding her with another man, and it faded out completely as he pieced it together. "Zak, I can explain," she insisted._

_Zak shook her off. "I knew it. Oh gods, I knew it."_

"_There's nothing to know," Lee whispered. He clutched the towel tightly around his waist, causing Zak's eyes to dwell on the fact that his brother was half-naked._

_Something shifted inside of Zak and he started yelling. "You fraking bitch!" Kara took a step back. "I should have known you weren't done torturing my family."_

"_Zak, that's completely inappropriate," Lee said, taking a few steps forward._

_Kara winced. Didn't Lee know he should stay out of this? "Zak, your brother and I are friends."_

"_We used to be friends, too, Kara," Zak pointed out. "Remember? We used to go for drinks every Thursday. Then you got too drunk, we fraked, and we weren't friends anymore." He looked over at his brother. "Is that how it happened, Lee? Did you loosen her up with some ambrosia and then convince her to show you her new apartment?"_

_Kara could see the temper flaring in Lee's eyes, and a million and a half scenarios played through her mind, none of them good. "Please, just listen to me for a second," Kara pleaded._

_Zak shook his head. He dropped the papers he had in his hand, and they hit the ground with a soft thump. "Make sure you sign those before you come back to Galactica. You wouldn't want to make my father angry."_

"_Zak, wait," Kara yelled as he flew up the stairs. "We need to talk."_

"_I wanted to talk that day you were supposed to marry me, but that didn't stop you from walking out on me. I guess now it's my turn," he spit back at her._

_Kara stared at the empty space in the doorway long after Zak had left. She had thought her frak-up days were finally over. She had a job she loved, flying a beautiful machine in the skies above her home colony. She had the best friend a girl could ask for in Helo, a man who loved her for her faults. She had a satisfying knowledge that she was making the right choice by keeping her distance from all things Adama. At least that's what she had been doing before this week._

"_Kara?" Lee said tentatively, moving to stand beside her._

_She turned to glare at him. "Put some clothes on and get out of my fraking home, Lee. I'm going out, and I don't want to see you here when I get back."_

_Kara slammed the door behind herself and immediately reached out to the wall for support. Her knees were shaking as she lowered herself to the ground. She was so tired of having to make these ridiculously hard choices in order to lessen the pain for those she loved. As she sat in the empty hall, tears springing to her eyes, she figured everything would be all right. Rejecting Lee meant she would have to deal with a few extra months of aching guilt and regret, but it was actually starting to feel familiar. _

_She had no idea that the pain was just beginning.

* * *

_

Lee thought about trying to gauge his mother's mood before he brought Kara into her house, but he figured that would be a childish trick. He was a grown man, and he needed to face up to the decision he had made. He loved Kara Thrace from practically the moment he first set eyes on her. It had taken him years to own up to that fact, and he wasn't going to let himself forget it.

"What's our plan?" Kara asked as they walked hand in hand up the front path. She could remember the first and only time she had been to this house, and frankly, it only made it that much harder to come back.

"I'm not sure. All I know is my mother might take it better if we don't act like everything's normal."

"You and I showing up on her doorstep married is far from normal," Kara agreed.

Lee gave her hand a small squeeze before reaching out to ring the doorbell. "She knows I'm coming," Lee said as they waited. "I planned this visit a couple months ago."

They heard someone move inside the house, and Kara's face erupted in terror. "Lee." The shaky tone of her voice said everything she couldn't find words for. She was terrified. She didn't think she could do this. She felt guilty for finding happiness after all these years.

"I'm glad you chose me," Lee whispered as the lock clicked open. "There's no one else I'd want by my side."

Kara had time to flash him a look of gratitude before the door opened.

Caroline Adama's face erupted into a huge smile at the sight of her oldest boy, but the happiness quickly fell away when she saw the woman standing next to him. "What brings you two to Caprica?" she asked coldly.

Lee dropped Kara's hand to step forward and give his mother's cheek a kiss. "We have a few things we need to talk with you about, Mom. Can we come in?"

Caroline looked at him and then shifted her gaze to Kara. The girl looked terrified. "Sure. Come in. I'm not going to bite."

"I'm not too sure about that," Lee joked. He reached down to grasp Kara's hand again and pulled her past his mother into the house. He could feel his mother's eyes bearing into where their hands touched, and he just hoped she was distracted enough not to notice the rings.

A few tense minutes later, they were all sitting in the living room, cups of coffee in hand. "So, why don't you lay it on me, son?" Caroline asked. "I know that you wouldn't have brought Kara here unless it was important."

Lee stared down at his hands and sighed. "I don't know how to explain this to you in a way it won't hurt and confuse you. You know I love you, Mom, and that I would never do anything to harm that."

"Lee, you're scaring her," Kara interrupted. "Caroline, you've always been good to me even after what I did to your family seven years ago. I'm grateful for that. If you had tried to kill me for what I did to Zak, I would have understood. I think you were wise leaving well enough alone. My own guilt and regret was a better punishment than anything you could have done, so be grateful for that." Kara looked over at Lee and saw he was smiling at her with pride in his eyes. Gods, she loved him. "I loved Zak with all my heart, and I left him that day for a very good reason. It was the best thing I probably could have done."

"Kara's explained it to me, Mom. She made the right choice." Lee smiled. "You should have seen Zak when he was on Galactica. He was happy being on Dad's ship. He didn't have to push himself to break out from anyone's shadow."

"He was a fraking beautiful Raptor pilot," Kara added and then blushed at her swearing. She really was the antithesis of the kind of girl Lee should be bring home to his mother.

"You're sorry about what happened to Zak. I've known that for quite a while, Kara, but it changes nothing."

Kara nodded. "I know. I just figured if you knew a little bit about why I did it, it would soften the blow."

"There's a blow?" Caroline said, her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"Kara and I have been trying to figure out how to say this gently, and we-"

"I didn't even know you were in touch with one another," Caroline interrupted. "Frak, I didn't even know you were friends."

"Since the day we met," Kara said, trying to stifle a giggle at hearing Caroline Adama swear. She got up from beside Lee and took a seat next to her mother-in-law. "I love your son very much, Caroline."

"I know that. I saw you and Zak together. You were very much in love."

Kara's eyes looked over at Lee, and he gave her a small nod. "No, Caroline, I love your son."

Caroline followed Kara's eyes to see they rested on her oldest son. Confusion washed over her. "I don't understand."

Lee stood up in order to sit on the coffee table in front of his mother and his wife. He reached out to grasp Kara's hand and held it out for his mother to see. It was time to lay it all on the line. "I've loved Kara for six years, and I've made her my wife, Mom."

Caroline looked at Lee and then Kara before bursting into tears. They had expected a multitude of reactions to come from Caroline Adama, but much to their surprise, this was not one of them. It took them a moment to realize she wasn't angry or upset. She wasn't even sad.

"It's about damn time," Caroline laughed through her tears.

"Excuse me?" Lee asked.

Caroline wiped the bottom of her eyes and smiled at her son. "I'm your mother, Lee. I know things about you that no one else does, including yourself. Mothers see everything." She looked over at Kara and smiled before turning back to Lee. "I saw the way you looked at her the day you two first met. I saw the way you slipped off to see her right before the ceremony. I saw the way you were more devastated than even your brother when she ran away."

"You never said anything," Lee cried out.

"I was too mad at the gods for doing this to my boys." Caroline turned to look at Kara. "I hated the fact that they were testing a girl who had so much promise. You've been through a lot, Kara. Anyone can see that just by looking at you. If this is what you had to do to be happy, I'm not going to protest."

Kara tried her best to smile through the tears. Having Caroline's blessing was such a relief.

"So when did this whole thing start?" Caroline asked.

"He's been visiting me for four years now."

"You waited that long?" Caroline asked.

"She wouldn't have had me before then," Lee insisted. "Plus I know a few things about having to work through your demons before you can be happy."

Caroline gave him a small nod before her smile turned into a frown. She was staring at him so intently that Lee couldn't help but brace himself for what looked like a classic Caroline Adama dressing down. "Lee Joseph Adama, would you get yourself off my coffee table this instant? Didn't I teach you more manners than that?" Lee's eyes went wide, and she chuckled softly. "Why don't you take a seat next to your wife and you can explain how long you're going to be here?"

The rest of the day felt like any other abnormally normal day to Kara. Caroline offered to make them dinner, and Kara helped her clean up the kitchen afterwards. They had both laughed about how foolishly cliché that was.

Lee and Kara had done their best to explain what had happened between them to her, but they left quite a few things out in order to spare her some of the pain. They didn't mention what happened the day that Zak walked in on them in Kara's apartment. It would just hurt Caroline too much.

Caroline insisted they spend the night. Kara's face immediately lit up at seeing the childhood bedroom of her husband again. Lee had to drag her away from his old toy Viper collection in order to go to bed. She put up a fight at first, but when she realized where his intentions were, she dropped the toy ships like they were on fire.

When the sun rose to bring light to the Caprican sky, Lee told his mother they had to be going.

Caroline kissed her son goodbye and pulled Kara into a hug. "You're a good girl, Kara. Try your best to take care of my boy."

Kara felt herself begin to cry which was strange because she was fairly sure she had used up all her tears the night before. "I'll guard him with my life," she promised.

Caroline stepped back to look at the two children. "Are you going to tell Zak?" she asked after a minute's hesitation.

"He's the next on our list," Kara said firmly.

"Don't let it torture you too much," Caroline advised. "You two are happy, and that is nothing but a gift from the gods."


	9. Chapter 9

_It hadn't rained on Caprica in over ten months, but today it did._

_Kara was soaked to the bone. There was a small tent set up for people to take shelter under while the priestess read the appropriate scriptures. It was for those who were invited, and she was anything but. She wouldn't have even known where to go if he hadn't told her._

_He had been calling her non-stop for two days now. She let her machine pick it up every time._

_She leaned back against a tree and tried to calm her shaking hands. The bark bit into her back. Pain was good. It felt real._

_The massive group of people one hundred yards away were moving. Kara watched them start the exit procession. There were little signs of comfort everywhere, a young child walking hand-in-hand with his mother, a elderly lady being helped when her walking stick caught in the mud, a husband wiping the tears from the eyes of his wife. Her gaze shifted to the young man standing between his parents at the front of procession, and she wished things could be that easy for her._

_She wondered how long it would take for everyone to clear out and stared out into the pouring rain._

_Within twenty minutes, the long line of cars was down to only one. Kara felt her heart tighten as she heard its engine start up. A part of her had hoped he would see her standing underneath the tree and come talk to her. She needed to talk to someone if she wanted to keep herself from falling over the edge. She turned to watch the car make its way down the road, and when she glanced back at the spot it had just been in, she saw him._

_He was standing in the pouring rain, the umbrella he had been carrying before gone with the car. His hair was matted down against his skin, and she could practically feel the harsh line of his jaws. His hands were in his pockets. He was openly staring at her._

_She should have known that he would see her._

_After a few minutes of staring, he trudged across the mud and grass to stand before her. The second he started moving, she had thrown her eyes to the ground. The guilt was too strong._

_Kara knew that she looked a mess. Between the freezing rain and the tears on her cheek, she was probably incredibly hard to look at. She had no idea why he wouldn't stop doing just that._

"_I know what you're thinking," he started. "It's not our fault, Kara."_

_She shook her head. "You're right. It's not our fault. It's my fault."_

"_Gods! Where the frak do you get off saying something as stupid as that?" he screamed. The anger came out of nowhere._

"_He wouldn't have even been on the planet if it wasn't for me."_

"_I wouldn't have been on that planet either!"_

_She wiped her eyes as the tears began to mix with the rain again. "Maybe things would have been better that way, Lee."_

"_Kara," Lee started, pulling her chin up so she could meet his eyes, "you can't say things like that."_

"_Don't get protective on me right now," she warned, slipping away from his touch._

_Lee waited for a moment until he saw her fists uncurl. "So you got my messages."_

"_I was home," she said, even though she knew he knew. "You wouldn't tell me what happened."_

"_There was a malfunction in Zak's Raptor. They say that no one could have kept that thing in the air. Nothing could have been done to save him."_

"_If he had been on Galactica instead of planetside, there may have been time," she insisted. "So don't' give me that nothing could have been done bullshit."_

"_Kara, you didn't force him to come down here. He chose to do that on his own."_

"_To see me!" she hissed. "Don't you understand, Lee? He never would have done that for any other pilot on Galactica. He still loved me. I ignored it because there was nothing else I could do, but I never forgot. I ruined his life and he didn't care and I tried to get him to go away but he wouldn't stop loving me." As each word fell from her lips, the sobs took a stronger hold over her body. "Why wouldn't he stop loving me?" she screamed to the empty graveyard. Her knees gave out, and she fell into the mud. Without thought, Lee knelt down where she fell and wrapped his arms around her rain-soaked body. She was breaking down completely, and the only thing Kara could think about was his suit was going to get ruined._

"_I lied to everyone," she whispered after her body had calmed. The sound of her voice was muffled against Lee's body, but she knew by the way he tensed that he had still heard her. "I said I did it for Zak's sake, but I didn't. I was being selfish."_

_Lee pulled back to look down at her. "What do you mean?"_

"_I've used so many excuses. Zak was too young to be settling down. He didn't know the handful of troubles he was taking on by marrying me. The gods obviously had other plans for him. He was much happier without me." Kara sighed and leaned back into Lee. "The truth is I did it for myself. I thought that maybe, just maybe the gods were trying to tell me that I didn't have to settle." As the words slipped out, she felt immediate guilt. "I'm not saying that I was settling for Zak. If I had married him, I know I would have been protected for the rest of my life. He would have done everything to make me happy."_

"_Then what are you saying?" Lee asked. His hand had come up to push the stray hairs off of her face._

"_I saw a glimpse of what it felt to really want something, and I actually let myself believe I deserved it. For the first time in my life, I didn't have to force someone to make my walls break down in order for me to feel happy. It just happened on its own. I didn't want to let that go." Kara felt Lee's arms tighten around her, and she knew he understood what she was trying to say to him._

_Lee offered her protection for a moment, and Kara let herself drown in it. She had been right to think he would catch her if she fell. The rain let up as if it was a sign from the gods that she couldn't stay in his arms forever._

_Clearing her throat, she pulled herself to her feet. "I want to see his grave," she whispered._

_Lee stood up and started walking towards where the small tent had been. Kara followed a few steps behind. She was about to reach out to trace the name carved into the stone when a gruff voice made her freeze._

"_What right do you have to be here?"_

_Kara turned to look at her commanding officer. She didn't say a word._

"_Your mother was worried about leaving you by yourself, Lee." Adama glanced back at Kara. "Maybe it would be wise for you to go to the car."_

"_I don't think-"_

"_That wasn't a request, Lieutenant," Adama snarled._

_Kara could see something familiar pass over Lee's face. He turned to look at her, and the small glimmer of hope that had been in his eyes before was gone. "Kara," he began._

"_I said now," Adama yelled._

_Lee held her gaze for one last second before turning to make his way back to his mother's car._

"_You have no right to be here. You are not a part of this family."_

"_I loved Zak," Kara whispered. She could feel the tears begin to slowly creep back up inside of her._

"_You ruined his life."_

_Kara lowered her eyes as his harsh words hit home. He was right. She had ruined the life of Zak Adama because she was selfish. It was her fault._

"_You told me you wanted to set him free for his own good, and I foolishly believed you. It didn't end, though. Time and time again, Zak came to me, saying you should have heard what Kara said to me or you should have seen the look she gave me when she landed. He said he knew you still loved him. He was just waiting for you to come around. You hung on to him even after you said you let go, and now he's dead." _

_Each word that came out of his mouth was like a kick in the gut to Kara. They were all things she had been telling herself since hearing about the accident, but she had never thought she'd hear them from someone else. A small piece of her had still held on to the idea that she might be wrong. This might not be her fault._

"_If you had just let him go, he would still be alive."_

_That was the final nail in the coffin. Spinning, Kara ran from the grave of her dead lover and the wounded father who had been left behind to pick up the pieces of his family yet again. She could see Lee leaping out of the car as she ran past, but it was too late. Not even his soothing words could make this better._

_She had killed Zak.

* * *

_

Kara reached out to touch the cool marble, and her fingers slowly traced out the letters of his name. She had been waiting six years to do this. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Lee watched in silence as she pulled something out of her pocket and lifted it to her lips.

"I'm finally letting you go," she said with a smile. The silver ring clinked slightly against the stone of the grave. Lee recognized it immediately but knew better than to say anything.

"I never meant to hurt you, Zak," Kara insisted. "I left you for selfish reasons that I never had the chance to explain, but I also did it for you. I saw a happiness in you during our year on Galactica that hadn't been there when we were at the Academy. You loved being a pilot."

Lee listened in silence as Kara confessed her sins and began to explain to Zak what he had seen that day he walked into her apartment unannounced. His hand came up around her shoulder as she reached the part about what she had sacrificed to keep Lee safe. He felt Kara searching for the words to explain to Zak why she didn't feel guilty for loving his brother and how she knew that he wouldn't have been angry.

"I wish you were still around," she admitted. "You were my friend long before you were my love, and I can't thank you enough for what you did for me." She looked over at Lee with a smile before turning back to the grave. "You were right, Zak. I never stopped loving you, and I never will."

Lee watched her lean in to kiss the top of the grave. She let out a deep breath, and he could see the weight lifting off her shoulders. "Ready?"

She bit her lip and nodded, letting Lee lead her away from this place. She had been waiting six years for that, too.


	10. Chapter 10

_Kara waited quietly in the back of the room while Commander Adama and his visiting son finished their photo op and interview. She had just gotten out of hack when Stinger told her Lee was on the ship. She hadn't even known the Fleet was flying him in for the decommissioning ceremony, though in retrospect it made sense. The Commander certainly couldn't fly a Viper anymore._

_The room cleared slowly, and Kara was able to pick up bits of the exchange between father and son as people pushed past her. The topic of conversation surprised her._

_Lee voice's cut through all other sounds as she heard her name. "Where's Kara, Dad?"_

"_How am I supposed to know?" Adama growled._

"_You're her commanding officer."_

"_She's an unruly pilot who likes to put herself and her fellow pilots in unnecessary danger. I've always made it a habit of distancing myself from people like that."_

_Lee looked like he was about to question his father further, but his eyes drifted to the back of the conference room and he smiled. Kara gave a small wave._

"_Are we finished here?" Lee asked, addressing both his father and the nearby photographer._

"_I think that's all we'll have time for," Adama answered. "I have a meeting with the Secretary of Education."_

"_I'm just going to wander the old girl one last time," Lee informed his father. He watched Kara get up and walk out the door, and he prayed that she would be willing to wait a few more seconds. He had been dying to see her since he came aboard Galactica._

"_The fly-by's in two hours. Don't be late."_

"_I won't."_

_Lee found Kara leaning against a wall in the corridor outside and breathed a sigh of relief. She fell into line next to him as he continued to walk. "I wasn't sure you would want to see me," Lee said after a minute's silence._

_  
"Why would you think that?"_

"_You haven't spoken to me in a year. I wrote you letters."_

_Kara nodded. "I know."_

"_You didn't write back."_

"_No, I didn't." Kara desperately wanted to explain to him why that was, but she also wanted to keep herself out of Lee's relationship with his father. She would drive a nail between them if she explained that the Old Man kept her too busy to even think about finding a spare piece of paper and pen to write to his son. Kara often wondered if that was the real reason behind Adama's decision to work her to the bone. Then again, he didn't even know that Lee was writing to her. Regardless, his constant commands did the job._

"_How's life on Galactica been for you?" Lee inquired._

"_Same old, same old. I feel like a fish out of water."_

"_Well, at least you got a year cut off your assignment. I can't believe they're actually turning this thing into a museum."_

"_It deserves a lot more," Kara agreed. "So how's Atlantia?"_

"_Still the best Battlestar in the Fleet," Lee confirmed. An odd look flashed across his face, but he quickly covered it up before Kara could notice. "The Admiral prides himself on having all the best pilots and crew."_

"_And one horribly conceited Viper ace," Kara teased._

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_I really wish I was good enough to get a slot on Atlantia's roster," Kara whispered. She had been trying for months, ever since the news of Galactica's decommissioning broke. The pilots on board had to go somewhere, and even though they were promised their wishes would have an input in the decision, she still couldn't get a definite on whether Admiral Nagala's ship would take her. She wasn't even sure if she was good enough to be considered._

_Kara became aware of the silence hanging between them and looked over to see Lee staring at her. His face was a mask of confusion, and she realized what he must be thinking. She should never have mentioned her wish to be a part of Nagala's pilots. She did not want Lee to know how much she was hoping to get placed on the same Battlestar as him. That would bring up drama and guilt they didn't need right now._

"_Anyway, I'm not sure where they're going to put me. The placements aren't going to be announced until tomorrow," Kara said, trying to cover her tracks._

"_Maybe you and I will get to be on the same ship for once. I'm dying to see if the stories are true."_

"_You asking to be my wingman, Apollo?" Kara joked as they headed down the stairs to the lower deck._

_Lee shook his head. "No, I'm telling you I would consider your application to be mine. There's a long line, but I think I can push your name to the top of the list." _

_Kara giggled. "If only we were on the same ship."_

_Lee's face sobered as he turned to look at her. "It could happen, you know."_

"_Come on, Lee," Kara said, pulling to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. "There's no chance I'll get put on Atlantia without finishing the rest of my three year sentence on another Battlestar like Galactica. They don't put pilots with only two years on-ship experience on the best ship in the Fleet."_

"_I know that, but considering the fact in a few days I won't be on Atlantia anymore, it's still a possibility."_

_Kara's jaw dropped. "What the frak are you talking about/"_

"_That was one of the reasons I was asking the Commander about where you were. I'm getting transferred, Kara."_

"_To where?"_

"_The Pegasus under Admiral Cain. The relocation of Galactica's pilots has shaken things up a bit. The Fleet doesn't know where to put you frak-ups." Lee shrugged. "They're promoting me to deputy CAG under Captain Cole Taylor. It seems like I'm on the fast track to moving up another notch on the chain of command."_

"_That's great, Lee," Kara said. She realized it hadn't come off quite as convincing as she would have like when he glared at her. "I've heard great things about the Pegasus. She's a good ship."_

"_You're making that up," Lee pointed out. "You don't know two fraks about Pegasus."_

_  
"No, I don't," she admitted._

"_The part the pisses me off the most is I have no real idea as to why it was me that had to be transferred. As much as we joke about it, I was on the fast track to what would probably be at least a slot as XO on one of the Battlestars. That means I'm supposed to be on Atlantia." Kara watched as Lee tensed up with anger. "It just fraking blows."_

"_I'm sure there was a good reason."_

"_Oh, there's a reason for the transfer, but it's far from good." Lee let out a cold chuckle. "In fact, it's downright shitty. I never would have been transferred if some hotshot pilot wasn't dead set on coming to Atlantia. We didn't have room for this stupid fraker so they had to shuffle around some of us to accommodate."_

_Kara's heart dropped out. "You didn't have room and yet a new pilot was accepted?"_

"_Admiral Nagala liked their application. He said something about the pilot being a persistent bastard. I wish I could be around to give him a piece of my mind, and by mind, I mean fists. Though rumor has it this pilot is a bit of a handful. Maybe it's better that I'm not on ship for that." Lee shook his head. "I didn't think it was possible to be this pissed off at someone I don't even know."_

_Kara pulled to a stop. They were in front of the hangar bay doors, which meant her instinct to run still had perfect timing. "Listen. I have to go make sure the Vipers are ready for the ceremony. It was nice talking to you, Lee." Kara gave him a quick wave and rushed into the chaos that was a colonial hangar bay._

"_Nice talking to you, too," he said, even though she was already out of earshot. It seemed all things having to do with Kara Thrace were still as bizarre as ever. He had been hoping to talk to her about what he said in his last letter, but it looked like that was going to have to wait.

* * *

_

When Lee first slipped two tickets to the Galactica Museum into her hand, Kara thought he was kidding. Now that they were waiting to board the shuttle Raptor, it didn't seem like a joke anymore. There were civilians all around them, excitingly chattering about being able to go onboard a real Battlestar. Kara desperately wanted to hiss at them that it was nothing special, just a big tin can in the sky, but she knew that was just her nerves talking. She had loved this tin can once.

Kara lifted her head up off of Lee's shoulder. His arms were holding her tightly against him, his hands resting behind her back. It was like he knew how soothing his touch could be to her and how much she needed that right now. "I don't want to see that ship again," Kara whispered.

"You have just as many demons there as you do on Picon and Caprica," Lee pointed out. "I want what we have to work, Kara, but that will only happen if we stop letting the fear of what could be control us."

She raised her eyebrows. "Us?"

"I have demons, too."

"Let me see. First, there was Helo, my best friend who I abandoned without a word. Then there

was your mother, who worships every single inch of you and therefore has every reason to hate me. Finally, there was Zak, the man I drove to his death."

"A little melodramatic today, aren't we?"

Kara ignored him. "All of those confessions were mine to fear."

Lee sighed. "I might not have as many demons as you do, but the one I do have more than makes up for it."

"I still maintain the notion that we don't have to tell your father," Kara insisted.

"Can you imagine what it would be like when he hears it through the grapevine?" Lee's voice dropped down an octave. "Commander, will you pass on my congratulations to your son and the Lieutenant on their marriage?" Kara pushed back to glare at him and had to bite back a laugh as he shifted his voice up a few octaves. "Oh, William, how does it feel to know in a few months you'll be a grandfather?" Lee's grin died down, and he gave Kara the scowl he had been perfecting since he was five. "I have no idea what you are referring to. My son would never do something like that without telling me, and for you to insinuate that he would is completely out of line."

Kara lost it. Lee's impression of his father was so spot on that she actually felt the need to throw her hand up to cover her mouth. She had to fight the urge to collapse into a fit of giggles. The people around them were already staring. Her hysterics would only make it worse.

When she got control of herself, her mind finally grasped what Lee had just said. "Children, Lee?"

Lee's face broke out into a rather stupid looking smile. "Eventually, yeah."

Kara was still trying to figure out how that made her feel when the Raptor shuttle clicked into its dock before them. She went to step back from Lee's arms, but she only made it a few inches before he had pulled her back. "I can't get over how nice it is to hold you in public," he whispered.

"You're going to have to let me go if you want to go on this stupid tour."

Lee chuckled but loosened his hold. "You just don't want to admit how much fun this is going to be."

"If by fun, you mean painful, then sure, it'll be loads of fun."

Kara was still rolling her eyes at Lee when she stepped onto the Raptor, which is why the situation hit her like a brick wall. She felt Lee's hands come up to grab onto her as she stopped in her tracks and his body slammed into hers.

"Kara?" Lee said. He followed where her eyes were staring. All that was in front of them was a standard Colonial Raptor cockpit and the shuttle pilot. He watched the pilot turn to see what the hold up was, and it surprised him to see her face pale.

"Hello, Meg," Kara said before continuing to her designated seat.

Lee managed to see the pilot narrow her eyes before he had to turn away in order to take the seat next to his wife. "Are you going to tell me what that was about?" he whispered when they were both settled.

"That's Meg Edmonson. She was a Lieutenant on Galactica with the call sign Racetrack."

"Never heard of her."

"She dropped off the radar around the time Zak died. Everyone always assumed she had gotten reassigned."

Lee waited a moment before asking, "So what was that little exchange all about?"

Kara took a deep breath and turned to look at him. Lee was startled to see the pain had found its way back into her eyes. "She was Zak's best friend."

Lee gave Kara a quick nod of understanding. Those five words said a lot. Lee turned to look at Meg Edmonson as she piloted their Raptor towards the floating museum. She was seemed good at her job. She was a fairly pretty woman with little to no battle scars from her time in the military. He could imagine his brother drifting towards her.

He was so engrossed in his evaluation of Racetrack that he didn't realize they had landed until Kara tapped him lightly on the shoulder. Her face was the same stony mask he had gotten used to seeing during the four years he spent with her on the colonial outpost. She gave him a small nod as she pushed past him

Kara was halfway out of the shuttle when she realized Lee hadn't followed. She turned to see he was standing between the two pilots' chairs, waiting for Racetrack to look up. A feeling of uneasiness washed over her as Lee cleared his throat.

"Hi, I'm Lee Adama," he said, holding out his hand.

Racetrack glanced up from her pre-flight list, took a good look at the man in front of her, and completely froze. "Oh gods." Her hand flew up to her mouth, and Lee watched her struggle to hold in the tears. "He told me you looked nothing like him," she said accusingly.

"I don't," Lee said, shifting into the empty co-pilot seat.

Kara watched his hand come out to rest on her shoulder. That was Lee, too stupid to know when comfort was inappropriate. "You look like him when you smile," Kara said, walking back onto the shuttle. She had never told Lee that. She knew the way he thought, and knowing he shared a smile with his brother would only make it worse. Plus, Lee would never believe her when she told him that from the second he first smiled at her, something shifted, and not in the way anyone would have expected. As soon as she know _both_ the Adama brothers, it has always been Zak's smile that reminded her of Lee.

"I didn't recognize you when you got on," Racetrack said, sniffling slightly as she regained control of her emotions. "I would have said something." Her eyes shifted to look at Kara. "I guess I assumed you wouldn't have anything to do with Thrace after what she did."

"She didn't do anything," Lee corrected.

"It's a matter of opinion," Kara added. She wasn't sure where she stood on the idea. It seemed like every night, she blamed herself for what happened to Zak, but when she woke up in the morning, the guilt was gone. Then, halfway through the day, it would come slamming back into her. "What are you doing flying shuttles, Meg?"

"It pays well, and I needed the money," Racetrack said cryptically. The hatred was raw in her voice.

"Kara tells me that you were close with my brother."

Lee saw something flash in the Raptor pilot's eyes before she shoved it away. "He was a walking disaster." She chuckled softly. "Zak couldn't pilot worth shit, but for some reason, I found that endearing. He was a little lost when he got to Galactica so I took him under my wing. It was something any pilot would have done in my place."

"She was a good friend to him," Kara added. Racetrack shot her a bewildered look. "I paid attention. Even if I couldn't love Zak, I still cared for him."

Racetrack shook her head. "That's an odd phrase, Thrace. You _couldn't_ love Zak?"

"No, she couldn't," Lee said.

"Wow, Thrace. I don't know how you did it, but this older Adama seems awfully protective of you."

"He has a right to," Kara insisted, holding her left hand out for Racetrack to see. "So say the gods."

Racetrack's eyes went wide as her gaze shifted from the ring to Kara then over to Lee and finally back down to the ring. If Kara hadn't been living in a perpetual fog of nerves, she would have felt the need to laugh.

"I don't understand," Racetrack blurted out.

"There's a lot of that going around right now," Kara smirked.

"I thought you loved Zak."

"I did. Right up until the day he died, I cared for him deeply." Kara felt Lee's hand reach up to rest in hers. He seemed to be a endless well of support these days. "I was in love with Zak from practically the moment I met him until months after I broke off our engagement. Then the love shifted into something different. Zak healed something inside of me I thought would always be broken, and I'm grateful to him for that. The gods knew our destinies, though, and they didn't rest with one another. We were on different paths."

Lee was having a hard time understanding what was going on. He knew what Kara was trying to do. Her words were meant to heal whatever rift had been cut between herself and Meg Edmonson, yet the Raptor pilot still looked like her whole world was crashing in on itself. "Are you okay?" Lee asked.

Racetrack looked up at him and shook her head. "I didn't know."

Kara must have picked up on the fact that something was off about Racetrack's demeanor because she let go of Lee's hand to kneel down in front of her. "What didn't you know, Meg?"

"I knew Zak was still head over heels for you, and I really thought you were still in love with him. I would have told you if I had known. Gods, you're going to hate me."

Lee shot Kara an inquiring look, and she just shrugged before directing her attention back to Racetrack. "I'm not going to hate you, Meg. You did nothing but watch out for him while you were on Galactica. I wasn't a strong enough person to do it, but you were. You helped heal the damage I caused, and I'm grateful he had a friend like you."

The deep laugh rose from the pit of Racetrack's stomach to shake her whole body. It immediately put Kara and Lee on edge. Racetrack wiped the tears from her face and stood up out of her seat. "The Education Department gives me a small break while I'm on call," she said with a smile that broke Lee's heart. It was so similar to the way Kara had looked for years. "There's something I'd like to show you if you'd give me a chance."

Lee looked over at Kara and saw she was still just as thrown off by this situation as he was. "We were planning on walking the ship," Lee said after a moment, "but I think I'd rather spend my time with someone who knew Zak so well."

Racetrack gave him one final sad smile before stepping off the Raptor. Lee and Kara silently followed her through the familiar corridors of Galactica. When she reached a door to the old senior officers' quarters, she turned to look at them. Lee couldn't help but notice the smile that had seemed so sad before now had a glimmer of hope to it.

"You asked me what I was doing flying shuttles, Kara."

"You said you needed the money."

"And I did. Now I want you to see why." She reached out to punch a code into the keypad, and the hatch door slipped open. "Ty, baby! Mommy's home."

A small boy slid out from behind a closed bunk curtain and ran into Racetrack's arms. "I was playing in my secret hideout," he chirped.

"That's great, sweetie."

The kid immediately started to rely every detail of his morning to his mother. It probably would have been extremely amusing if Lee hadn't lost all ability to focus the second Meg's son popped out of the bunk. "Kara?"

"Gods," she whispered, looking over at her husband. "He has Zak's eyes."

Lee swallowed and gave a small nod. "So it's not just me."

Racetrack cleared her throat, and they both realized that Tyler had stopped talking. "Lee, Kara, this is my son, Tyler. Tyler, these are some old friends from when I used to fly with your daddy."

"Pilots?"

"Not just any pilots, kid," Kara said, stepping forward. "We flew the Vipers." She was rewarded with the sight of Tyler's eyes going wide. Kids were always suckers for Vipers.

Lee walked over to stand next to Racetrack. "How old are you, Tyler?"

"I'm going to be six in a few weeks," he said proudly.

They stood there in silence for a moment before Racetrack shifted to set her son down on the ground. She led him over to a bunk and pulled him up to sit on her lap. "Remember that talk we had the other day about how all the other kids have big families and you only have me?"

"I don't mind. You're a good mommy," Tyler insisted.

"That means a lot to be, baby," Racetrack said, leaning down to kiss the top of her son's head. "Do you remember what I told you about your family?"

"You said that I did have a big family only they were really important people and they were busy protecting everyone and they would visit when things finally quieted down but not to worry because they love me," Tyler rambled.

"Well, I figured it was time you met some of them." Racetrack looked up to smile at Kara and Lee. "This is your Uncle Lee and your Aunt Kara. Lee is your daddy's brother."

Tyler looked over at Lee for confirmation, and Kara's heart tugged at the look of wonderment on her husband's face. That's when it hit her. She wanted to have this man's children. She wanted to be the one to put that look on his face every day for the rest of their lives. Gods, twenty-two days ago, she would never have believed she would be happily married with a desperate desire to have children. Sometimes, she couldn't comprehend the things Lee did to her. There was only one thing that she never lost sight of, and that was how he made her better for wanting.

"I always wanted an uncle," Tyler said and then added as an afterthought, "An aunt, too, I guess."

Racetrack laughed. "Tyler is going through a phase right now where he's not too happy with the girls he meets. Why is that, baby?"

"Because they're girly. They won't play Vipers and Raiders with me."

"Well, I have great news for you, kid. I think you're going to love your Aunt Kara. There's not a girly bone in her body." Racetrack saw Lee and Kara try to keep from laughing. If she had been talking about anyone else, that comment would have come off as an insult. With Kara, it was simply the truth.

"Are you guys going to go bye-bye soon?" Tyler asked.

Lee looked over at Racetrack, and she nodded. "No, we have a few hours before we have to leave, and after that, I think we'll be seeing you a lot. You have a grandma and a grandpa who have just been dying to meet you, and I think things have finally settled down enough that we can make that happen."

Tyler's face lit up. "The rest of the kids are always saying how great grandmas and grandpas are. They say they get all this cool stuff like Tommy Hinkins got a new set of dog tags for his birthday. Ooo! And Josh Wilson got the new Mark VIII Viper model and those things are hard to get so his grandparents must really love him."

Racetrack reached over to tap her son on the nose. "All right. I think that's enough talk about grandmas and grandpas. Why don't you go play in your secret hideout while I talk to Uncle Lee and Aunt Kara for a while?"

Tyler grinned and gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek before running back to his hiding bunk. He turned at the last minute to give Lee and Kara a small wave and then disappeared from view.

"So, now you know," Racetrack sighed.

"That's why you left Galactica," Kara acknowledged.

"It was a mistake at the time. I was trying to help Zak keep his mind off of you, and we had a little too much ambrosia. I didn't even know I was pregnant until he was gone." Racetrack turned to look over at the closed curtain hiding her son from view. "Tyler's my world. I wouldn't give him up even if I had the chance." She turned to smile at them sadly. "What hurts the most is knowing what would have happened if Zak was still around."

"He would have taken care of you," Lee insisted.

"I know. He would have done the right thing, and it would have killed me to see him give up his dreams because of a stupid one-time mistake. We didn't love each other, at least not the way he loved you, Kara. He would have insisted I marry him, though. It would have ended his career. There isn't room for married pilots who haven't even hit the Captain rank."

"Why did you hide it from us?" Lee interrupted. The shock was staring to wear off, leaving him with an intense feeling of having been cheated. "Why would you deny me the right to know my nephew?"

"I saw the way your family looked at Zak's funeral. You wouldn't have been able to handle the news. I figured I could just wait and let you know when I got closer to my due date. Then, my due date came and past. I gave birth to Tyler, and after that, it felt too late. I mean, would you really have believed a washed-out Raptor pilot who showed up out of the blue claiming the toddler by her side was really your dead brother's child?"

"I would have given you the benefit of the doubt," Lee swore. "Frak, Meg. He looks just like my brother."

"Maybe I was just being selfish, keeping him all to myself."

"And maybe Adama here is a big, fat liar," Kara said, earning herself a glare from him. "You would have kicked her right to the curb, Lee. At the time, we all wanted to put Zak up on a golden pedestal. We had our own guilt to deal with, and it felt better if we could just blame ourselves for what happened. Admitting that Zak could make the kind of mistake that creates a new life would have gone against what we wanted."

Lee didn't respond. He knew she was right

"I want you to be a part of Tyler's life," Racetrack insisted. "I was stupid not to tell you. All I was doing was hurting my son."

"It's okay," Lee said after a moment's pause. "I understand why you did it, and I just want to thank you for not letting me leave this ship without knowing. It probably took a lot of courage to do what you did."

"You'd be surprised what being a mother can make you do."

"Lee," Kara hissed. He followed her eyes and saw a small head peaking out of the bunk.

"I don't care about seeing the rest of the ship," Lee said softly.

"Me, either," Kara agreed. She gently nudged Lee towards his nephew. "Go talk to him."

It took a lot of effort to get himself to make the first step, but when no alarms started blaring to tell him he had to stop, it got easier. He pulled the curtain back a few inches and kneeled down in front of the bunk. "I bet Josh Wilson rubbed your nose in that new Mark VIII, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He kept telling me that no one loved me because I didn't have one."

Kara watched Racetrack's jaw tensed and realized that her old shipmate really was a mother now. It was odd. It seemed like everyone had had kids while she was stuck on a rock in the middle of nowhere. Kara reached out to rest a hand on Racetrack's shoulder and shook her head. This wasn't the time for Mom to get involved. Lee was doing the male bonding thing with his nephew.

"I bet you wanted to hit him pretty hard."

"Yeah," Tyler said, his face showing his determination. "I wanted to yell at him that he didn't know my mommy and if he did, he would know that someone did love me a whole lot."

"Well, I have news for Josh Wilson. Your mother isn't the only one that loves you." Lee paused before smiling up at his nephew. "And you know what? You have something that Josh Wilson will never have."

"What's that?"

"An uncle who's the CAG on a Colonial Battlestar."

Tyler's eyes went wide. "No way! You're a CAG?"

"On the Atlantia," Lee added.

If it was possible, the admiration on Tyler's face grew. "Mom didn't lie. I do have a really important family," Tyler whispered. Kara felt herself bearing witness to the beginnings of some rather intense hero worship.

"I have to make some calls to my Admiral, but I think I can get you something for your birthday that will show Josh Wilson just how much more your family loves you." Lee looked back at Kara and gave her a small wink. "Did you know that most CAGs get to fly the Mark VIIIs?"

"No!" Tyler cried.

"Yeah! And your Aunt Kara even got to fly one the other day, too."

Kara grinned at her husband. Of course Lee would want to spread the hero worship around. She sat down next to Racetrack and held the woman's hands as Meg fought to hold back tears. Kara could only imagine how hard it was to raise a son all on your own. To finally have help might be a little too much for even a tough colonial veteran to handle.

"I hope you don't mind your son flying a Viper," Kara whispered. Racetrack gave her a puzzled look, and Kara just nodded towards where Lee was still talking to Tyler.

"We're going to have to wait until you actually turn six, but I think I can arrange to take you up with me in my Mark VIII."

Tyler let out a squeal and flung himself right into Lee's arms. Lee felt the little boy squeeze him tight as he whispered, "I love you, Uncle Lee."

Kara was pretty sure she was witnessing the most beautiful sight to ever be seen in the history of the Twelve Colonies, and she knew no one in the room would argue otherwise.


	11. Chapter 11

_Kara realized the cards that had been dealt to her were complete shit as someone started reflecting on this being their farewell triad game. It was a thought she hadn't begun to let herself comprehend. There were too many other things to think about right now._

"_How about you, Starbuck?"_

_She looked up to realize that Joker was talking to her. "What?"_

"_Oh no!" Dee exclaimed, folding her cards down with a dramatic flourish. "When Starbuck zones out, it means she has an awesome hand."_

"_Ha ha. Very funny," Kara hissed._

_Dee picked her cards back up, obviously pleased with her little joke. "Joker was just asking you if you knew where you were going after Galactica's decommissioned."_

_Kara threw ten cubits into the pot as she thought over that question. After a moment, she shrugged and asked, "Has anyone heard anything about Pegasus?"_

_Jackson Spencer shook his head. "You don't want to go there, Thrace."_

_Kara was surprised at the words of her CAG. He wasn't supposed to influence their opinions on their new placements. It was written in a rulebook or something. "What do you mean?" _

"_I've heard a few things about the Pegasus. Admiral Cain runs a tight ship."_

"_Shouldn't that be a good thing?" Joker asked._

"_Not the way I hear it," Karma interjected. "There's this rumor that Pegasus had regressed back to the ancient times when the Lords of Kobol first settled the Twelve Colonies."_

"_What do you mean regressed?" Kara asked._

"_You know, stealing, brawling, raping, all the fun stuff."_

"_That's gross," Dee exclaimed, "and obviously completely wrong. Right, Ripper?"_

_Kara didn't understand what she had just learned until she realized Spencer wasn't correcting Karma. "Sir?"_

"_Why is this so important to you, Lieutenant?"_

"_I just want to know what I might be getting into," she lied. It wouldn't be good to say she was simply concerned for probably the only friend she had besides Helo. It might hurt her tough girl image._

"_Pegasus will toughen you up, Thrace. Every pilot to emerge from that assignment comes out better for it." Spencer paused before adding, "The only thing is a lot of pilots don't come out of the assignment. Pegasus has a high desertion rate."_

"_So let's say a perfectly nice pilot ends up on that ship? They're pretty good at flying and for some crazy reason, they're on their way to making CAG. You think being on Pegasus would kill that chance?"_

_Spencer shook his head. "I don't know why you're asking that, Starbuck, considering you've expressed a desire to never be made CAG, but no, it shouldn't kill someone's ambition."_

"_It will just change them," Karma interjected. "I had a friend who got posted there once. The guy was probably the nicest person you'd ever meet in a Fleet of frak-ups like us. When he got off Pegasus, though, he was different. He was a real bastard, worse than Colonel Tigh."_

"_Watch it," Spencer warned._

"_Sorry, sir, but it's the truth. Stunner was the top of our class for students from Leonis. He had this knack for out of the box thinking. I guess that's what got him posted to Pegasus." Karma shook his head. "You know where he is now? The General Prison on Picon! He was arrested for beating the shit out of some ex-Colonel in a bar on Picon. There was some disagreement about a flight maneuver and its effectiveness. Stunner beat the guy to death because he wouldn't admit he was wrong. They say there was…"_

_Kara tuned Karma out the second his intended message hit home. She threw her cards into the pile in front of her and stood up. "You bastards are lucky I have somewhere to be because I was about to wipe the deck with your collective asses."_

_As odd as it was to see Starbuck leave a triad table in the middle of a hand, they ignored the impulse to say something. She obviously had something on her mind that she didn't want them to know about._

_Kara cornered the first CIC officer she could find and demanded to know if the military officer in charge of the reassignments was still on board. She was told he was in the conference room on C Deck, and she took off in a dead sprint. She didn't have much time._

_Three minutes later, she was pushing the hatchway door to the conference room open as she tried to regain her breath. "I'm sorry for bursting in, sir, but I had to talk to you about-" Her voice cut off as she recognized the man seated at the table in front of her._

"_Lieutenant Thrace. I was wondering when I'd run into you."_

_Kara did her best to prepare herself for a situation that had just gotten ten times as worse as it was two seconds earlier. "Major Lake, I didn't realize you were the one in charge of reassignments."_

"_I requested the job, actually. I heard Galactica was being decommissioned and figured they could use my military experience to get the pilots put in the right spots."_

_Kara fought the urge to wipe that self-indulgent smirk off his face. They both knew he was lying. He had come on this ship for the pure reason that he might get the opportunity to torture her. Ever since she had too much ambrosia that night nine years earlier and made one stupid mistake, he had been waiting to get his revenge. It was a wonder how such a simple morning-after rejection from her could upset him so much. "Listen, Lake. I need you to do me a favor. I know for a fact that I've been placed on Atlantia and because of that Captain Lee Adama has been transferred to Pegasus. This is completely unacceptable."_

_"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked, confidently leaning back in his chair. He had her, and they both knew it._

"_I want you to switch my assignment to Pegasus so he can stay on board Atlantia."_

"_No can do, Kara. Your Captain is supposed to be training to be deputy CAG because of this little reassignment. Pegasus is the only ship with that position open."_

_"He won't mind if he has to wait a few months to be made deputy CAG."_

"_People will notice if a reassignment is suddenly taken away without any sort of explanation."_

_"You're smart, Lake. Make something up." Kara felt her skin crawl as Lake's eyes roamed her body. The memories of what she let him do to her that night still made her nauseous._

"_You're willing to do a lot for this Lee…" He paused to look down at his papers. "…Adama? Any relation to your Commander?"_

"_He's his son."_

"_But not the one you were supposed to marry?" Lake inquired. He was rewarded with a glare. "This sounds scandalous. I mean, a woman willing to give up an assignment she had to fight her ass off to secure for her dead lover's brother? That's the kind of thing you want to stay hidden."_

"_What do you want from me, Lake?"_

_He let out a deep sigh before sitting forward in his chair to leer at her. "I've been dreaming about this day for forever, Lieutenant. I want your wings."_

"_Excuse me?" she cried._

"_The only way Lee Adama can have your slot on Atlantia is if you quit the military. No. Scratch that. I want you kicked out of the military."_

_"I've been calling you a crazy bastard for years, but I never realized it was true. You are fraking insane."_

_"This is your only option and you know it. You have this insane guilt over something you did, and you are desperately trying to fix it. You've always been incredibly transparent, Kara. I know you need this favor, but I'm just curious how bad you _really _want it."_

_Kara was about to tell him where exactly he could shove his curiosity when words spoken long ago echoed through the back of her mind. William Adama had accused her of ruining his youngest son's life once. She had been standing on Zak's grave, and the Old Man had called himself foolish for believing she wanted what was best for Zak. His final words to her still made her heart ache._

"If you had just let him go, he would still be alive."

_She had no choice. She wasn't going to be the reason for which the life of William Adama's other son got ruined. Kara knew that she wouldn't be able to handle that. "What are you proposing?" she asked, quietly slumping into the chair in front of her._

_Lake shuffled through some papers before coming up with what he wanted. "I can't guarantee I can get Captain Adama's spot on Atlantia back, but I can make room for him on a Battlestar other than Pegasus. Meanwhile, you'll be transferred to Columbia. I have friends there who I trust. Essentially, you're going to put the lives of your fellow pilots in danger one too many times. In actuality, you're not going to be stepping one inch off the Battlestar. There'll be an official hearing in which you'll admit…"_

_Lake's voice faded out as Kara felt her last little bit of hope that someday she would be happy fall away.

* * *

_

Kara and Lee walked hand in hand with Tyler as he led them back to his mother's Raptor. The kid was a never-ending bundle of energy, Kara decided. He had been talking non-stop about his upcoming ride in a Mark VIII. She knew that it should seem annoying, but for some reason, she couldn't shake the fact that it only seemed cute to her.

What Racetrack had been able to do absolutely amazed Kara. Raising a young child on your own was so hard that she couldn't even begin to comprehend it. After some poking and prodding by Kara, Racetrack did admit to having some support in all this, at least for the past year or so. She had been seeing a philosopher who lived on Geminon. From what Meg had told her, this Leoben guy seemed to make her happy. He was exactly what she needed at this particular moment in time.

Kara laughingly pretended to be a concerned aunt and asked if this relationship was serious. Racetrack admitted that Leoben had been dropping hints that he wanted it to be. She blushed as she admitted they had even talked about giving Tyler a little brother or sister one day.

Kara gave Lee's hand a squeeze as they continued down the corridor and was rewarded with a smile that made her heart sing. It would be nice to give Tyler a few cousins to play with, too.

Tyler paused at the hangar bay doors, causing Kara to pull herself away from her thoughts. "Mommy doesn't let me go into the danger area."

"Your mommy's a smart woman," Lee said, kneeling down. "I guess this is where we part then, little man."

"Will you come back?" Tyler asked as he gave his uncle a quick hug. He quickly shifted to hug Kara's leg. It seemed he had finally decided she was un-girly enough to meet his standards.

"We'll be back as soon as we can, kid," Lee promised, "and I'll definitely see you sometime after your birthday. Maybe I can even convince your mommy to let you stay with me over night."

Kara waited until Tyler was well out of sight before she pulled Lee up into a rather heated kiss. She could feel his surprise melt away into desire, and she knew they were giving the whole hangar bay a show. She didn't care.

"What was that for?" Lee panted after he finally pulled himself away to breathe.

"It turns out seeing you with children is a big turn on for me," she said casually. When Lee lifted his eyebrows in a sort of questioning surprise, she smiled. "Eventually, Lee, yeah," she said, echoing his earlier words.

They walked hand in hand towards the Raptor, and Kara let out a long sigh. "Your father is going to love that little boy."

Something flashed across Lee's face, but he quickly tucked it away. "Maybe Tyler will help soften the blow. I think we can use all the help we can get."

Lee had been hinting at just how difficult their last stop was going to be, but he knew that Kara really had no idea. Since Zak's funeral, there had been some bad blood between Lee and his father. Lee couldn't stop imagining what William Adama had said to Kara to make her run crying from Zak's grave. Add that to the fact that his father had been deemed too old for reassignment and was currently working a desk job at the Military Air Headquarters on Picon, and Lee knew they were in trouble.

It wouldn't be the first time.


	12. Chapter 12

_The door locked behind her with a snap that echoed through the empty house, and Kara rested her back against the wall. It had been another long day of collecting paperwork on the new transfers. She definitely wasn't looking forward to entering all that information into the books. It would take her the better part of two weeks._

_Still, in the end, she felt lucky to have this job._

_The military had given her a quiet, honorary discharge over ten months ago for endangering the lives of her crewmates. It was about as big of a black mark as one could get, and Kara wasn't surprised when she found herself unemployed and two days away from being homeless. She would have thought the nice little lady who collected her rent every month for two years would have sympathy, but no, she was pounding down her door with that eviction notice the first second she could. _

_Finding a colonial outpost that would take a woman like her was hard to do, and in the end, she was pretty sure someone had pulled strings for her. The salary turned out to be not that bad, and Kara was able to put most of it towards her little hole of a home on Delphi. It helped her get through the day knowing that place was still out there if she needed it._

_Sighing, Kara pushed off the wall and made her way to her desk. She had work to do. Her chair creaked as she sank into it, and she shut her eyes. She had known the outpost would be a hard place to live, but she really hadn't thought it would be this bad. The loneliness was eating her up inside. It was her own fault, though._

_The only request she had had when she left Galactica was that it be fast. Commander Adama gave his farewell speech to the crew, and then Major Lake had her transferred to Columbia. She barely had time to grab her things out of her locker. Even if she had had more time, goodbyes wouldn't have been an option for her. There was really no one to say goodbye to. Helo had been on the first shuttle to Gemenon to see the latest pyramid playoff game. Her wingman, Fireball, only really spoke to her when they were in the air. Dee and Gaeta were the only people in the CIC she could relate to, but they were busy with all that ship retiring business. Then there was the Old Man. William Adama hadn't really spoken to her since Zak was killed and she found out he blamed her for his son's death._

_The only person she had to say goodbye to was Lee, and she knew that was the last thing she could do. He couldn't know what she had done, and within two seconds of being around him, she would have burst into tears. She figured that probably would kind of give it away._

_Kara reached out to grab the photo she had tacked to the wall above her desk. She ran her finger along the faces of the two Adama brothers before silently folding the picture to hide Zak from view. When her thoughts went down the road they were currently going, she couldn't bear to see his face._

_It was ridiculous how much she missed Lee._

_When she let herself stop moving for even a few seconds, she swore she could feel his hands on her face, his arms holding her tight. That day in her apartment on Delphi when they had come so close to letting down their defenses was constantly on her mind. If Zak hadn't interrupted, Kara had an idea of where she and Lee would have ended up._

_Kara felt her eyes well up and swore. She shouldn't be this attached to a man she barely knew. Then again, a man she barely knew shouldn't be able to pick her up every single time she fell like Lee did. She felt safe during those few moments she spent with him in the past three years, and something like that was incredibly rare for a woman like her. Kara had probably shared more with Lee in one hour than anyone else in her life, including Zak, but that didn't mean she should feel as if she had some claim on him. She tacked the picture back onto the wall and let out a deep sigh. Familiar thoughts were creeping up._

_The latest way she had been filling her downtime involved a game in which she imagined just how wonderful Lee's life was because of the sacrifices she had made. It was the only artistic outlet she had considering this planet was too damn cold for any sort of painting. Kara leaned in to stare at Lee's face in the photo and narrowed her eyes. "I think I'm going to make you CAG of Atlantia today, Lee. They transferred you right back when they realized what a mistake it was to let such a good pilot go. On your last shore leave, you met a wonderful girl in the marketplace of Caprica City. It was like a fairytale. She looked up to meet your eyes, and you were head over heels in love." Kara smirked. "I always had a feeling you were a die-hard romantic, Lee, so you probably popped the question to her after a romantic candlelight dinner on one of the Fleet's luxury liners. The timing was perfect, and when she said yes, you had to fight the urge to cry. Now you're counting down the days until she can be yours in the eyes of the gods."_

_Kara leaned back in her chair. That was a relatively good one. She'd have to remember it for later use._

_Kara shut her eyes to replay the little proposal scene she had just concocted. This little game of hers was entertaining, but it did have a couple, small problems. One, she always seemed to dwell on the romantic moments she created for Lee. She would imagine them over and over again until it hurt her heart. Even worse than that was the small fact that, no matter how hard she tried, the face of the woman Lee loved was always her own._

"_If I can't have him in my fantasies, when can I have him?" she whispered. She hated how defensive she sounded. It made her feel weak._

_After the full scene had played through in her mind, Kara forced her eyes open. There was a mound of paperwork in front of her, just begging to be filled in and filed. It seemed the Twelve Colonies never ran out of insane thieves and murderers to send her way, not that she ever got to see any of them. That would be way too much fun._

_She made it a quarter of the way through the stacks before exhaustion set in. "It's not like you're going anywhere," she rationalized to the papers._

_Kara pushed herself out of the chair and walked over to her bed. She looked briefly at the small bathroom to her right before shaking her head. She was too tired to even shower. She got this way every few weeks or so. The mistakes of the past would surface to haunt her every thought, and her body just shut down. Then, there were the nights she woke up. and she could swear she felt Lee beside her. She finally understood why people got space dementia. This place could drive the sanity out of even the most stable of people. Kara Thrace was anything but stable._

_She slipped her cargo pants past her waist and kneeled on the bed, wasting a few precious seconds to throw her tanks onto the floor. It had been at least twenty hours since she had been able to sleep, what with the new prisoners and all. She had actually gotten used to the inconsistent schedule of no sleep and then too much sleep. Most nights, she couldn't sleep anyway so it didn't matter if she was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling or working at her desk, growling as the stack of paperwork that never seemed to get smaller._

_A wave of sadness washed over her as the loneliness began to creep back in. Kara shifted her body to grab the sealed envelope on her nightstand. It had been sitting in that same place every night since she came to PX-29, and every night it was the last thing she saw before she shut her eyes. For three hundred and two days, she had never had the urge to open it._

_Her eyes traced the jagged scrawl of her name, and she smiled. He must have written this fast, probably right before he was summoned to Admiral Nagala's office to hear about his intended part in the decommissioning._

_Kara had a feeling this letter was going to be different than all the others before it. It wasn't just going to be a distanced exchange of facts and polite inquiries into her life. Lee's letters had been getting more frantic each time he realized she wasn't going to write him back. How could she even think of telling him what was happening inside her when all this guilt lay between them?_

_That was one of the things Kara regretted most. She should have written Lee. She should have taken the time to tell him what she had done to him and hoped that he would forgive her for being the reason he lost his slot on Atlantia. She should have let him know where she was and begged for him to come see her. Instead, she had kept herself silent and locked away on this rock in space. This was all her fault. She deserved whatever punishment the gods saw fit to give her._

_The sadness inside her was replaced by the anger of possibilities not achieved, and Kara set the letter back down on the nightstand for a time when she really needed it. She had a lifetime of living on this rock._

_Kara was about to let herself relax into sleep when a loud knock boomed through her small house. "Frak," she hissed, pulling herself to her feet. The prison transport pilot must have forgotten something. She reached into her closet to blindly pull out a fresh t-shirt and shorts. Her guest probably wouldn't want to have her answering the door topless with only skivvies on her bottom. Then, again, she vaguely recalled the pilot of this last transport being male. Maybe he wouldn't really mind._

_Kara paused in front of the mirror on her way to the door and couldn't help but smile at her choice of clothing. The t-shirt she picked proudly declared her to be a member of the Caprica High pyramid team. Lee had left it behind in her apartment the day they had been caught together by Zak. She had always meant to throw it out but, for some reason, never did. Now it was her favorite shirt to sleep in. Most nights, she swore she could still smell his scent on the worn cotton material._

_The knocking grew more persistent. "I'm fraking coming," she yelled, taking a spare moment to grab her gun out of the desk of her drawer. She didn't want to assume this was the transport pilot. It wouldn't be the first time an inmate had found his way to her doorstep. Over a month ago, some guy had come knocking on her doorstep screaming about the spine of his wife, Shelley and how it glowed whenever they had sex and she had to help him prove it. Kara had no idea where they found these nutcases. All she knew was she was prepared to do what she had to in order to stay safe._

_She unlocked the door's locks and pulled it open, ready to either shoot or yell depending on who it was._

"_Hi, Kara."_

_Kara felt the gun slide out of her hand at the sound of Lee's voice. "You're a hard woman to track down," he reported, pushing past her shell-shocked body in order to step into the house._

_She blindly shut the door, reached down to pick up her gun and then leaned against the wooden doorframe for the second time that night. "What are you doing here, Lee?"_

_He ignored her question as he made a quick circle of the main room. "Interesting place you have here, Thrace." He looked over at her and smiled before falling back onto the couch. "I'd ask you how you've been, but I figured you don't want me to know. I mean, you did disappear on me for a year without even one word that you were all right."_

"_Lee…" she started, pushing off the wall. "I-"_

"_-was only doing what's best?" He shook his head. "You know, I'm getting tired of hearing that excuse from you."_

_She could feel a temper she had thought long gone begin to burn its way through her body. She couldn't figure out how Lee managed to piss her off so quickly. Slamming her gun down onto the nearest table, she glared at him. "What the frak are you doing here?"_

_Lee reached down to pull a book from his bag. Silently, he held it out for her to take. "I wanted to give this back to you."_

_The worn-copy of the Book of Pythia was a familiar weight in her hands. She flipped it open to see the little doodles of Vipers on the inside cover. She had made those when she was ten. "So you did find it," she said, smiling over at him._

_  
"It didn't really repair my faith."_

_  
"It wasn't meant to."_

_Lee stared at her a moment. There was a small hesitation before a decision was made. "I'm not sure why you forgot it, Kara, but I'm glad you did. It let me know something was not right with your little disappearance. A woman getting assigned to a new Battlestar wouldn't leave her prized possession behind."_

"_I didn't leave it behind. I left it for you," she corrected without thinking._

"_Even worse," Lee insisted. "What the hell was I supposed to think, Kara? I went to your bunkroom to talk to you before I had to go back to Atlantia. Your locker and bunk were cleaned out. There was no note, no apology for running out. All I found was that damn book."_

"_It was the only way I could say goodbye," Kara whispered. It was the truth, but she figured he wouldn't understand. That day, she couldn't have looked him in the eye. Leaving behind something that meant the world to her seemed like the only thing to do._

_Lee pulled himself to his feet and closed the distance between them. "I remember the first time I saw it as if it was yesterday." When she gave him a confused look, he smiled. She remembered that day, too. She just didn't know it yet. "You came to get your things from Zak's apartment, and I was there on medical leave?"_

"_You burned your eggs," she smirked._

"_That's right." Lee watched the way the smile lit up her whole face, and something tugged at his heart. He reached out to push a stray lock of hair behind her ear. It had gotten so long since the last time he had seen her. "I wish you hadn't run from me, Kara."_

"_I had to," she said, looking up at him. "You wouldn't understand."_

"_I could have helped," he insisted._

"_You would have tried, but it wouldn't have been enough. I'm really fraked up, Lee." Kara expected him to agree with her, and when he stayed silent, she felt her skin heat up. He was staring at her so intently. A voice in the back of head suddenly wondered if this was all a dream. Had her stupid little game finally blurred the lines between fantasy and reality?_

"_Why are you here?" she asked for a third time. She wished he would move his hand away from her cheek. It was getting harder to focus._

"_I was on leave from Solaria." Lee paused, wondering if maybe this was news to her. "That's where I've been for the past year."_

"_I know," Kara admitted. "I've kept track of you and your father. I guess my life isn't complete unless I have an Adama to worry about."_

_Her words were meant to be a low blow. Subtle reminders of Zak had always served them well when it came to keeping their hormones in check. This time it didn't seem to work. In fact, Lee took a step closer so that she could feel the warmth of his body only inches from hers._

"_So I went to see a few of my friends on Atlantia during my time off." His voice was husky and low, and Kara fought the urge to run away again. "I ran into Admiral Nagala. We had a rather interesting chat." _

_Kara felt her stomach drop as she suddenly realized where he was going with this. She prayed to the gods that a prisoner would chose this moment to try to make a break for freedom. She needed a distraction and she needed it now._

_The gods heard her prayer and chose not to listen. It was the story of her life._

"_So, Kara, tell me why you were so desperate to be a pilot on Atlantia?"_

_The smirk on his mouth told her that he already knew the answer but he was enough of a bastard to make her say it out loud. For some reason, she found that to be an incredible turn-on which was exactly what she didn't need right now. She figured she could lie to him, tell him it was only because Atlantia was the place where the best of the best flew, or she could tell him the truth and probably end up watching him laugh in her face. The lie was about to come out of her mouth when his fingers started rubbing the sensitive skin beneath her ear. _

_The truth came flying off her lips. "My flight instructor at Academy always said when you found a pilot good enough to watch your back in the sky, you did everything you could to hang on to him." She smirked. "I guess I didn't fancy dying at the time."_

_Lee nodded, finally dropping his hand away from her, and took a step back. He had been losing control over his body by the second, and he really didn't want to frak this up. This was the first chance he had ever gotten to make Kara tell him the truth without worrying the world would cave in. "Admiral Nagala was saying how odd he found it that you worked so hard to be under his command and then you just turned around and went to another Battlestar. I told him you must have had a damn good reason."_

"_I always do," she insisted._

"_It got me thinking about some things so I did some research into where your transfer took you. It surprised me to find you only served a few weeks on Columbia before being discharged. I know you can be kind of hot-headed when it comes to piloting, but I never would have imagined you would get yourself kicked out of the Fleet. Flying was your life." Lee fought the urge to touch her again. He really needed to figure out why he had this insane need to protect and comfort her. "It didn't make sense to me until I saw who was behind your disciplinary trial. I recalled a story Zak told me once about you and a Major Lake which ended up with you almost getting kicked out of the Academy."_

"_Zak never knew when to keep his mouth shut," Kara grumbled._

"_Even after I had pieced everything together, the transfer request, the discharge, the sudden disappearance, I still couldn't believe it. Why would you do something like that?"_

"_What exactly do you mean? I've done a lot of stupid things in my day."_

"_Don't play dumb with me. I think I've earned a little more than that." Kara dropped her head, and Lee could punch himself for losing control of the situation. This wasn't supposed to be about him taking her down a peg. This was about his decision to put what he wanted first. For once in his life, he wasn't going to be the sensible one. "You gave up your flying career for me, Kara."_

_  
"It seemed like a smart decision at the time." Kara sighed, turning away from him to set her book down on the coffee table. She took a deep breath and wondered if maybe this was more of a nightmare than a dream. "I'm still not sure why you're here, Lee."_

"_You gave up your flying career for me and then left behind your most prized possession for me to find. How was I supposed to interpret that as anything other than a desperate plea for me to fix whatever mess you had gotten yourself into?"_

"_I meant it as a way of saying goodbye."_

"_I'm not ready for that," Lee declared._

_Silence filled the air between them for what felt like an eternity before Lee sighed and took a few steps to bring himself in close to her again. His hands came up to rest on her shoulders, and he turned her around to face him again. "I came here to yell at you for being so stupid, but now I feel like I should thank you."_

_Kara let out a nervous laugh. "What do you have to thank me for?"_

"_Making me see how stupid I've been to let you get this far away from me."_

_Kara barely had time to react to his words before he had pulled her into a kiss. She was surprised at first that this was actually happening, but then she decided she didn't care. She was so damn lonely that even if this wasn't Lee, she would have given in._

_Their lips touched gently with a lingering hesitation that told Kara he was just as scared about this as she was. They were crossing a line that had been between them for years, and a tiny voice in the back of Kara's mind urged her to push him away. Then, Lee nibbled lightly on her lip and she forgot all the reasons why she was supposed to not want this. She opened herself to him and felt his arms come around her body to hold her tight._

_It was hard to believe it had taken over three years to get to this moment._

_She felt his smile against his lips as he pulled back to shower soft, gentle kisses along her face. "Nice shirt, by the way," he whispered, nudging her back against the desk._

_The feeling of his breath against the side of her neck made the reality of what was happening hit home. This was Lee, the brother of the man she had once wanted to spend her life with, one of the most important pilots the Colonial Fleet had, the son of the one man who had good reason to want her dead. Most importantly, this was the man she couldn't get out of her thoughts from the moment she first laid eyes on him. Kara pushed away from his hold to look into his eyes. "Nothing can come of this, Lee."_

_He watched her for a moment before nodding. They both knew the consequences of what they were about to give in to. No one would accept the idea that a man would knowingly become involved with the ex-fiancée of his dead brother. There would be a fall out if they let this get out of hand._

_That was what had held him back from Kara for years. He would never knowingly bring that type of attention or pain onto Kara. As strong as she tried to have everyone believe, Lee could see right through her façade. He knew that one more bad turn in her life could destroy her. He had spent three years caring about how other people treated this cocky fighter pilot. From the moment he met her up until the day before, his focus had always been on how much his little brother loved her. Never once had he considered how Kara might feel about him._

_Now, the only thing he cared about was the fact that Kara wasn't pushing him away. Until this exact moment, he hadn't had the courage to hope that she would still feel for him the way he felt for her. Frak, half the time he thought it was all in his head. Seeing her smiling up at him in his old shirt was more than enough to tell him he wasn't crazy. There was something unspoken between them, and gods be damned, he wasn't going to let it slip through his fingers again._

"_We're really doing this, aren't we?" she whispered._

_Lee watched her lips turn up in a mischievous smile as she pulled her body up against his. "Gods, I missed you, Kara," he whispered, pulling her off the ground. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he held her body against his and carried her towards the bed._

"_I missed you, too, Lee," she sighed, resting her head against his chest._

_All thoughts of loneliness faded away.

* * *

_

Kara stared at the closed door. She could make out years of use in its scratches and digs. This was the office of a man who had seen his share of hard times. "He knows we're coming?" she asked.

"He knows _I'm _coming," Lee corrected. "I asked him to clear a bit of time for me in the afternoon."

"So he doesn't know about me?"

"Would you have told him in my position?"

Kara looked over her shoulder and shook her head. "He would never have showed up."

"He still might not," Lee said, resting his hand on her shoulders. "I haven't exactly talked to him in three years."

Kara twisted her body to look at him. "What did you just say?"

"I haven't spoken to my father in over three years."

"Please explain."

"I… oh gods. This is just going to make it worse."

"Lee," she said, her voice giving him a not-so-subtle warning that if he didn't get to the point now, he was probably going to be punched.

"I couldn't look him in the face after you told me what he had done to you. The things he said to you at the funeral were completely untruthful not to mention just plain cruel. He couldn't handle his part in Zak's death so he chose to blame you. That is not the action of a man I want to be associated with."

"He's your father, Lee."

"Which is why I've only ignored him so far. There are some things I can't overlook."

Kara leaned in to gently kiss his lips. "I never asked you to take a stand for me."

"You never had to," Lee whispered. He watched Kara's eyes shift away from his to eventually settle on the small, brass band on her left hand. "I wish I had the money to get you a proper ring."

She shook her head and smiled. "This is perfect, Lee. What this ring is made out of and what it stands for is a testament to what we are. We make more sense together than apart."

Lee's lips slid into a wide grin. "Lords, I don't know how we ended up like this."

"Me, either," Kara admitted. She pulled herself from his arms to stare at the door again. "Let me do the talking, Lee."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"I don't want to hurt your relationship with your father any more than I already have. Let him think that this was my doing. Let him hate _me._"

"No," Lee said forcefully. What she was asking was beyond him to give.

"This time will be different, Lee," she insisted. She slipped her hand into his, their rings clicking against one another softly. "I gave up the last of my guilt when I took this ring from you. I gave up the last of my fear when I promised to be yours before the presence of the gods. Your father cannot change that."

Lee looked down at his wife. She was the strongest person he had ever known, and she had earned the right to do this. "Lead the way, Kara."

Kara knocked forcefully on the door and managed to keep herself from tensing up at the familiar brisk voice that beckoned them to come in. She dropped Lee's hand the second she stepped over the threshold into the office.

William Adama's face showed barely any change when he realized who had come to see him, but Kara knew there was something brewing under the surface. "Sir," she said, slipping back into the old military protocol of rank.

"What are you doing here?" Adama looked over at his son. "You didn't leave me with the impression that you were bringing a guest to this conversation."

Kara glanced at Lee and saw he was fighting to hold his tongue. She didn't have much time before his protective side came out. "When I was under your command, I respected the way you laid things out for your men, sir. You never fed us bullshit. It was always this is what you have to do and this is what you have to risk. That's why I'm going to be frank with you."

Adama nodded, leaning back in his chair.

"I love your son, sir."

"You killed him."

Kara reached out to grab Lee before he could do something stupid. "I wasn't talking about Zak." She watched Adama try to process what she was saying. When he looked reasonably mad, she figured he had gotten her point and maybe it was time to start explaining. "I did love Zak once, but I was never the right fit for him. My love faded."

"I thought you said you were going to be upfront with me," Adama pointed out.

Kara wanted to laugh. He wanted her to be upfront? Then she would be upfront. "Lee and I are married, sir. We got married by a visiting priestess in the outer territories three weeks ago." She was pleased to finally see a reaction. William Adama looked absolutely furious.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Four years," Lee said proudly.

Adama turned to look at his son, and Kara was surprised to see disappointment in his eyes. "How can you do this to your brother, Lee? Does his memory mean nothing to you?"

"With all due respect, sir, the appropriate mourning period for a Caprican widow is one year. Kara and I waited two, and she wasn't even bound to Zak. Hell, if we lived on Geminon, I would be legally obligated to marry her."

"We don't expect you to be happy about this," Kara interrupted. "We just wanted to let you know."

Adama looked back and forth at each of their faces before sighing. "Are you sure you two were only carrying on like this after Zak died?"

Lee could see Kara stiffen out of the corner of his eyes and decided enough was enough. "You will not speak to my wife, your daughter-in-law, that way," he growled. "Kara is not some piece of trash you can just shove aside. She is a part of your family now, and in reality, she has been for over seven years now. You were just too blind to see it."

"My son seems to be rather enamored with you," Adama said to Kara. "Can you tell me why that might be?"

Lee desperately wanted to scream at his father about every little thing Kara had given up for him over the years, starting with Zak, going through her flight career, and ending with her last stubborn wish to suffer for her mistakes. In the end, though, none of that would help. Adama needed to accept Kara on his own terms.

"I have no clue why Lee loves me so much," Kara said quietly. Lee could practically see her retreating back into her shell of self-doubt, but all he could was reach out to grasp her hand and hope it was enough. This part was her fight. Kara gave him a weak smile before looking back at her father-in-law. "I don't know why he loves me, but I'm not going to fight it. I don't have the strength, and frankly it's the last thing I'd want to do. Lee pulled me out of a dark place four years ago."

"We fought hard to do this right," Lee affirmed. "We came here hoping you could understand that."

"We've all made mistakes, sir. Each one of us have done something for which we need forgiveness."

"We all played a part in why Zak died," Lee added, "but it's time to move on. It's time to let Zak go and live our lives. That's what he would want of us."

Kara saw Adama give a small nod before leaning forward in his chair. He stayed silent for a few moments before glancing at her with a look of resignation on his face. This had been easier than she thought.

Then it all changed. "Forgive me for being the only one that has some common sense left," Adama hissed through clenched teeth, "but if I'm not mistaken, you're still stuck on a colonial outpost, Kara, and you've got your job as CAG on Atlantia, son. How ever can you make this thing work?"

Kara flinched. She should have known this wasn't over. William Adama was strong in his convictions. "I don't know how we're going to make this work. All I know is it _will_ work."

"How can a marriage work when there are million of miles between you?"

Kara was about to respond when Lee placed his hand on her shoulder. "I will give up my place on Atlantia in a second for Kara. I love the work I do there, but I love her more. No sacrifice is too big."

Adama looked just as shocked by Lee's words as Kara did. Lee had always been a natural at flying Vipers, but he had never loved the job like many pilots did. However, something had shifted since Lee became CAG of Atlantia three years earlier. He had found his place in the world, and Kara knew that it would kill him to give up flying just like it had almost killed her.

Lee turned to Kara. "We came here to tell him about our marriage, and that's done now. I think we should leave before this gets even worse."

Kara knew that Lee was just trying to protect her from the next round of harsh words from his father. She also knew there were things still left to be said. It was the point of no return for her relationship with William Adama. In about a minute, they were either going to be family or they were never going to speak again. "Can I be blunt with you?"

"You shouldn't stop now," Adama hissed.

"I still respect you despite you're never having earned it," Kara started. "I don't want to be a wedge between you and your family, but I also refuse to stand here and keep quiet because I'm afraid of what you'll say. There is something you need to realize in order to get on with your life. Zak was not the perfect child you want him to be, sir. He had flaws, ones that kept him from flying Vipers and ones that kept him from grabbing me by the hair and dragging me down the aisle that day. He was young, and he made mistakes just like we all did."

"Kara, you don't owe him this," Lee insisted.

Kara ignored him and pressed on. "I know Lee thinks it would be better if I didn't do this. He doesn't understand that I have to fix what I broke."

"You can't bring Zak back," Adama growled.

"No, I can't, but I can help ease the pain. You see, Zak left one important mistake behind when he died. You have a grandson, sir. His name is Tyler Edmonson, and he lives with his mother, one of your former Raptor ECOs, on Galactica. You need to get your head out of the past and start focusing on what you still have left. I've been following you for the past five years. I know that Anne left you, and I have a feeling I know why. You need to get your priorities back in gear, sir. You might not have a Battlestar to command, but you still have a family to look after. That family includes me whether you like it or not."

William Adama looked taken aback for a moment as the words sunk in. Then slowly, Kara and Lee watched a weight return to his face and shoulders. For the first time, they both remembered how much their father and Commander had gone through in his life.

"Let's go," Lee whispered, putting his arms around Kara's shoulders.

She let him turn her around and lead her halfway out the door before she turned back to look at her former Commander. He looked broken. "Please, sir. Don't push your family any farther than you already have. They can't take much more. They're not as strong and stubborn as we are."

She waited until she saw a look of understanding cross Adama's face before stepping out into the hall. "I want to go home, Lee," she whispered.

Neither one of them needed to point out that they had no clue where home was.


	13. Chapter 13

_Lee could feel his breath being taken away as he looked down at the woman currently resting on his chest. He had been sleeping in her bed for four years now, and the sight of her still made him want to grin like a fraking idiot. If this wasn't love, then he didn't know what was._

"_Stop grinning at me," Kara growled without opening her eyes._

"_I'm not grinning," he lied._

"_Yes, you are. You always look like a fraking kid in a candy store after we make love."_

_Lee's eyes, which had previously been drooping with the ease of complete satisfaction, shot open. "Kara?" he said hesitantly, not sure she was aware of what she said._

_She snuggled in closer to his body and planted a small kiss on his chest. "Yes, I'm finally admitting that we're doing more than just fraking. Don't let it go to your head."_

_Lee chuckled. He had known they weren't just using one another for a physical release from the first time he took her to bed, and he knew she was on the same page. You couldn't work this hard to keep away from a person and not realize when you did finally come together it was going to be more than you could ever imagine. He knew it, and she knew it. It was just fun having to work to make her admit it out loud. _

_The memory of what led them up to this nice post-coital snuggling made him smirk. They had been running around the perimeter wall of the outpost as if it was just another day. Lee found it funny that both he and Kara had been in the habit of running laps through their respective Battlestar corridors for all the years they were in service and yet it took her getting stranded on an outpost for the two of them to start doing it together. He had always considered it a way to sooth away the tension in his body. That changed the second he started doing it with Kara during his visits. Now he would only make it a few feet before the desire to push her up against the cold stone wall and frak her senseless came over him. This time, he had actually held out until they were two steps into Kara's home. His self-restraint was really surprising._

_Lee tightened his hold away Kara and sighed. He had never felt this way about any other woman. Frak, he was pretty sure he'd die if she ever left him. He had always laughed at men who said that, but now it made perfect sense. He leaned down to give her a kiss. "You know how you're always saying I push my luck one step too far?"_

_Kara's head popped up, and Lee saw the uncertainty in her eyes. She was afraid of what he was about to do. "Yeah?"_

_He pushed a stray hair out of her face and smiled. "I love you, Kara."_

"_Frak you, Lee," she said, already trying to pull herself away from him. "You promised, you stupid fraker. How can you… I mean why… frak you!"_

_Lee used her momentum to flip their bodies. Kara was pressed to the mattress by the weight of his own body, and he took a moment to enjoy that before speaking, "You're not fooling anyone. I know every time you say frak you to me, you're really saying I love you."_

"_I don't love you," she insisted, squirming to get loose._

"_Yes, you do."_

"_No, I really don't."_

"_Not even a little bit?" he asked._

_  
"Not even a little bit. Now get the frak off of me before I start getting mean." Kara wished to the gods that he would listen to her. She couldn't keep this up for much longer. Plus, it didn't help that his body was rubbing hers in exactly the right places. _

"_Kara."_

_  
The tone of his voice made her heart drop out. Before they had just been doing their normal joking banter that bordered on the edge of turning into a fist fight, but now it was serious. Her heart sped up as she realized he had been telling her the truth. He loved her. He hadn't said it just to tease her. He really meant it. Kara began her struggle to get out from under him again and did her best to ignore the flashes of desire coursing through her body._

"_Tell me why you're afraid," he insisted, pushing against her even harder._

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

_Lee shook his head and loosened his hold on her. He didn't want to physically force her into admitting anything she didn't want to. "What's happening between us isn't two people finding comfort in each other's arms, Kara. It's more than that. This is love, and I hate that you're too scared to admit it."_

"_I'm not scared," she insisted._

"_You just don't love me? Because if that's the case, I'll leave right now. I don't want to hold you back from finding someone you can actually care about."_

"_Don't be melodramatic, Lee," she said, rolling her eyes. His tone had shifted back to playful, and Kara could feel herself relax. Somewhere along the line, she had started fearing the day Lee would walk away and leave her alone on this cold rock. She depended on him to keep her sane. Every time he came to rescue her, she knew she had slipped a little further towards oblivion. There was a reason Fleet rejects were the only ones desperate enough to take these outpost jobs._

_Lee leaned down and kissed her lightly, barely even making contact. "I love you, Kara. I don't care if you won't say it back. I love you."_

_Kara stared up into his eyes, and for some reason, she suddenly remembered what life had been like on this base without Lee. He had pulled her back from the ledge that first day he came to her. He only stayed for a few hours, and when he was gone, the loneliness and sadness crept back in. Then, three months later, he got another pass off-ship and he came to her again. Soon she found she was expecting him to give up every free second he had to be with her. The strange thing was he actually did it._

_Still, the loneliness never really went away. Every day she lived on this rock, it took hold of her more and more. It was always there, haunting every inch of her, but for those precious few moments when Lee was with her, everything faded away. She lived for those moments._

_She reached up to run her hands along his strong shoulders and sighed. "Fine. I love you, Lee. Are you happy now?"_

_Contrary to the massive grin that spread across his face, he shook his head. "I think we established that I can never settle for what you give me."_

"_You can't push me any farther," she insisted. "I said I love you. That's already too far."_

_Lee nodded. He knew what she was referring to. For four years, he had dutifully kept the promise he made her on the first night they spent together. Nothing permanent could come of this. There was too much history and too much pain between them already. Plus, the outside world wouldn't understand. _

_It didn't even matter to Lee that he couldn't talk about what they had together. Kara Thrace was something he was not willing to share. She was his, and he knew it. Up until a few days before, that was all he needed to know. That was all that mattered._

_Lee leaned over her body to grab his bag off the floor. "What are you doing?" Kara asked, sitting up to lean her chin on his shoulder. Her arms snaked around his body and played with where the bed sheet covered his hips._

"_I have something I want to give you," Lee said, doing his best to ignore what her hands were doing. He knew she was trying to distract him, but it wasn't going to work this time._

_Kara nibbled lightly on his shoulder, and she moved her hand away from his body, holding it out to him palm-up. "A present? You shouldn't have."_

"_That's what you'll be saying in about two seconds," Lee winced, dropping a ring into her open hand._

_Kara pulled herself away from him and stared down at the small brass band in her hand. She could feel Lee watching her, trying to gauge her reaction. The ring was extremely thin, but there was something graceful about that. She was about to ask him to explain what the frak she was supposed to do with a ring made of brass when it suddenly hit her what this really was. "Are you fraking insane?" she yelled, pushing herself away from him. She flung the ring back onto the bed and grabbed a t-shirt off the ground to throw on. She was not going to have this argument naked._

_Lee realized that this was exactly why he loved her. To any outsider, their relationship looked ugly. It was hostile and messy and tragic. To him, it was beautiful. "I want you to marry me," Lee said firmly just to be sure she wasn't misunderstanding. "I love you, and I need you."_

"_You promised me that nothing would come out of this," she whispered, turning to look at him._

_Lee felt his heart break at the way she sounded so betrayed. There were tears in her eyes, and he could see her biting her lip to keep herself together. He had never meant for it to happen like this. "I'm sorry, Kara."_

"_You promised," she repeated._

_She looked so cute, standing there in only a t-shirt with her arms crossed against her body and a pissed off look on her face. Lee stood up off the bed, grasping the sheet tightly around his waist. He had to make this work. "The promise I made to you that day was something I knew I could never keep. I was already in love with you when we started whatever you want to call this. I feel like I've always been in love with you." Lee reached out to brush a hand across her cheek. "I can't give you up, Kara, not anymore."_

"_There's too much history between us."_

"_That's the point," Lee said. He pushed the ring back into her hand._

_Kara's hand closed around it, and she turned her back to Lee. "I can't be what you want me to be."_

"_I don't want you to be anything but you, Kara." He fought back the urge to just pull her into his arms and smother her with kisses until she lost all will to fight him. "All I've ever wanted is you."_

_Kara opened her hand and looked down at the ring. It was definitely brass and not that much of it either. She knew there wasn't a shortage on this particular alloy so Lee had chosen to have it made like this. Her fingers ran along the outer shell. It was the smoothest piece of metal she had ever felt. This was a ring unlike anything she had ever seen._

_"I don't want to run from our past, Kara. That's why I've given you that."_

_She turned to look at him. "I don't understand, Lee."_

"_Four years ago, I received an envelope from Zak. He must have written it a little while after he first got to Galactica and then tucked it away in the event of his…" Lee's voice faded off. They both still had trouble talking about his baby brother. "He left me a letter which he referred to as a wake-up call from the dead for his big brother to get his head out of his ass so I could finish what I started." Lee bit his lip and stared down at the ground. "I was stupid to think he wouldn't know. Zak could always see right through me." _

_Kara couldn't help but reach out to rest her hand in Lee's. He was struggling with something, and she couldn't pretend like that didn't make her hurt. _

"_Zak told me that two years was plenty of time to mourn. He must have specified to our family lawyer to wait that long before mailing the letter." Lee smirked as he remembered his brother's words. "He suggested I stop fooling myself and realize I was in love with the same woman as he was. He left me his dog tags. I had no clue what that was supposed to mean, but it got me to thinking. I missed you like crazy, and I barely knew you. That had to mean something. The day after I got Zak's message, I ran into Admiral Nagala, and you know the rest."_

_Kara looked down at the metal ring in her hand. "This is Zak's."_

"_He'll always be a part of us, Kara. Without him, we never would have laid eyes on one another. Things would be a lot different. Without Zak, I never would have known how it feels to be really and truly happy." _

_Kara shook her head and held out the ring for him to take. "Lee, we're not strong enough for this."_

_"I don't care," he yelled, pushing her hand away. "When are you going to understand that I don't give two shits about whether you think we can do this or not?" _

"_Excuse me?" Kara cried._

_Lee knew immediately that he had gone about this the wrong way. He was doing his best to calm down, but nothing seemed to be working. He had expected Kara to put up a fight, but this was a little too much. She said she loved him. How could that be true if she didn't think she was strong enough to fight for what they had? "I didn't mean it that way, Kara." He sighed and pulled her into his arms. "All I know is I have to do this. I don't care if you think it's stupid or impossible. I can't live another day without knowing you're mine." Lee took the ring out of her hand and slipped it onto her finger._

"_I don't understand why I mean so much to you," Kara said, quietly staring at the ring._

_Lee sighed. "I've never been good at coming up with ways to say what I'm feeling."_

"_You've made my heart flutter a few times," Kara insisted._

_Lee watched her play with the ring, sliding it up her finger until it was practically off her finger before sliding it back down again. He realized that this was the critical moment. If he didn't find a way to say what he felt now, then he was going to lose her. "You're my whole world, Kara. Everywhere I look these days, you're all I can see. Everything reminds me of you. The oceans on Picon are the same color as your eyes. The forests of Caprica in the autumn remind me of your hair. I see the sunlight in your smile. You're everywhere, Kara. You are everything."_

_Kara was about to protest again, but the look Lee shot her made her pull her words back._

"_Sometimes, I wonder if I could just get you to see your face or hear your voice, if for just one second you could step outside everything that holds us back, if you could see what I see, then maybe you would understand. I have fallen in love with you, Kara. I don't want to be anywhere except right beside you. I will love you all of my life. So, if you can't bring yourself to declare our love in the presence of the gods right now, that's all right. It doesn't matter." Lee looked down at her hand and ran his finger over the small band. "Nothing can change this, and that is a promise I will keep to the day I die."_

_Lee raised his eyes to look at her and was greeted with a rather familiar looking smirk. "A woman traditionally says yes before you put the ring on," Kara pointed out._

_Lee let out a small laugh. "You will say yes. It's just a matter of time."_

_Kara looked down at the ring. It really looked right, sitting on her finger. "You really want this?"_

"_I want you."_

"_I'm so tired, Lee" she whispered, stepping into his arms._

"_Then don't fight it anymore. Don't push me away."_

"_I never wanted to be this happy," she confessed. "I never dreamed it could be like this."_

"_Me, either," Lee agreed. "But that's how it is between us. That's how it's always been."_

_They stood in the middle of the room, holding on to each other as tight as they could, for what felt like an eternity. Lee could feel Kara's mind racing as she fought to figure out what was happening between them. He wished there was more time, but if there was one thing his brother's death taught him, time was never a constant. He raised her hands up and slowly kissed each one of her knuckles. She had been hurt so many times in the past, and for years now, he had wanted to be the one to fix that. He only had to get her to trust him. _

_When he felt her relax against his lips, he decided it was time to press the issue again. He silently led her back to the bed and pulled her in against him. He always felt stronger when she was resting in his arms. "Please marry me, Kara."_

_He felt her hesitate for a second before she let out a deep breath. "There are too many questions between us, Lee. There has always been too many questions right from the moment I met you. We're not ready for this." _

_Lee knew better than to argue with her. He didn't want to force her into something she didn't want. If that meant he was going to have to bide his time until she felt like they were ready, so be it. Even if it took years, he didn't care. Those would be years in which Kara was still a part of his life. That was what mattered._

_He was so caught up in convincing himself that this was for the best that, when she kept speaking, he almost didn't hear. "Too bad I can't live without you, either." She reached her hand up to close his jaw which had dropped open automatically. "We're not ready for this, Lee, but when have we ever been ready for anything that's happened between us?"_

"_So that's a yes?" Lee stammered, still not sure if this was all a dream or if she was actually agreeing to spend the rest of her life with him._

"_Are you sure of what you're doing?" she asked. "I'm not the type of girl a man wants to bring home to his parents."_

_"You've already met my parents so problem solved." When his words didn't get a laugh, he got serious. "Kara, I am so insanely proud of the woman you are that it hurts. I would proudly introduce you to every person I have ever known and all the people I've never met. I've never found someone I wanted to give myself to so completely like I do with you. I trust you, and I hope you trust me."_

_"You know I do," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm just afraid. You're one of the highest profile pilots the Colonial Fleet has right now. What will they think when they learn you're engaged to a blackballed pilot who lives in the wastelands?"_

"_They'll think that I'm the luckiest man in the world to have found someone who understands who I am and what I do so completely. They'll be jealous that my wife is the prettiest woman they've ever seen and that she's so insanely happy she doesn't even glance at other men. Mostly, they won't think anything because I'm not going to let you out of this bed for at least the first ten years we're married."_

_Kara let out a giggle as Lee teased the nape of her neck with his tongue. "You haven't even let me say yes."_

_"Is it a yes?" he said, straightening out to look at her._

_Her face was beaming as she gave him a small nod. "Was there every a doubt?"_

_Kara barely had time to blink before Lee had her pinned down again and was raining kisses up and down her body. She felt his hands reach down to pull the t-shirt off her body, and she knew she had made the right choice. She couldn't live without the feelings Lee stirred up inside of her._

_Lee paused to nibble on her ear and let out a soft groan. "Oh gods, Kara. I don't know if I can wait. Would it be pushing you too much to ask if I can find a priestess who would marry us today?"_

_The decision had been made in Kara's mind, and there was no turning back now. "The sooner, the better," she said, smiling up at him. She knew this impulsive decision would probably come back to haunt her in the morning, but for tonight, it just seemed right.

* * *

_

Kara looked out the window of the car as Lee pulled it to a stop. They were in the nicer part of Picon City, the kind of place a girl like Kara never found herself. A rather large building stretched out in front of them. Kara watched the light reflect off the glass front of the building, and she called to mind all the sunsets she had seen while at the Academy. Picon had a way of reflecting itself out like a big shiny beacon for the Twelve Colonies to feel safe under. "Where are we?" Kara asked as Lee opened her door for her.

"You'll just have to see."

They stepped into the building's lobby, and Kara stiffened. There was a security guard staring right at them. She figured they had about ten seconds before they were thrown out of this place. "I thought you said you were taking me to where you live."

Lee smiled at her and was about to say something when the security guard interrupted. "Major Adama, it's been a few months since I last saw you."

"The Fleet keeps me busy, Desmond." Lee turned to Kara and pulled her out from where she was hiding behind his back. "Desmond, this is my wife, Kara."

"You never said you were married!" Desmond exclaimed.

Kara wanted to laugh at the shocked look on the security guard's face, but she was still a little too confused to let herself be that relaxed. This Desmond guy obviously knew Lee, but there was no way Lee could afford one of these apartments. The Colonial Fleet didn't pay that well.

"It's new to me, too," Lee explained. "We've only been married a few weeks. I need a favor, though. Could you do the necessary paperwork to give Kara access to the building?"

"Sure, sir. We'll pull her photo off the security cameras and list her under your account."

"Fantastic." Lee nodded and led Kara further into the building.

"I'm so confused," Kara muttered.

"I told you I was taking you to my home. Actually, it's your home, too."

"Lee, I was expecting some little, ratty military-issue apartment. I wasn't expecting this." Kara's eyes wandered the lobby as they waited for the elevator. This was still an apartment, just like she expected, but Kara was pretty sure it was the kind you had to kill someone to get and not the kind that gets handed to you when you enlist.

Lee stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the eleventh floor. "I've lived here for a year now, Kara. I couldn't stand my little hole in the wall apartment." He cleared his throat. "It reminded me of your place too much."

Kara laughed lightly. She could relate. There was a reason she never took her vacation time off the outpost. She couldn't go back to that apartment without thinking of Lee, and since she had no way of spending time with him, she just avoided Delphi like the plague.

Lee smile at her as the elevator shifted to a stop. "I had some money saved up so I moved in here, hoping that one day you could call it home, too."

Kara stepped into the hallway. There were only two doors. Lee walked to the one on the right, and when he was done unlocking the door, he pushed the key into her hand. "That's for you," he said. He held the door open. "As is all of this."

Her mouth dropped out. The apartment was fairly large and looked like it was straight out of Picon Times or something. What really took her breath away was the wall directly across from where she stood. It was made of glass, and she could see the waters of Lake Aegea shining below. She hadn't even realized they were on this half of the city. She stumbled forward to see that there was even a balcony. "This is amazing," she whispered as her hand came out to tentatively touch the glass.

Lee came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He smiled as she relaxed against him. "I thought you'd like it."

"I love it," she corrected.

"There's more," he whispered in her ear. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her from room to room, pointing out every single thing he thought she would appreciate. He had known he was playing with fire when he showed her the bedroom, and she didn't let him down. They were barely in the room a few seconds before she was trying to rip his shirts off. "Kara, as much as I'd love to make love to you in our own bed, the tour's not over."

"I don't think there's anything that can top this," Kara said, moving to sit on the bed. She ran her hands over the soft blankets and sighed. "It's going to feel like heaven to have you inside me under these sheets. Don't you want that, Lee?"

"I'm serious," Lee laughed, trying to fit back the urge to scream yes, he most certainly wanted to ravage her in the bed he had always dreamed of sharing with her. "I saved the best for last."

Grumbling, Kara got up and walked over to him. "It better be good, Adama."

Lee looked at her for a moment before leaning down to kiss her slowly. She could feel her knees beginning to give way and held onto his body for dear life. She loved the way he could make her feel.

When Lee was content that he had worked her into submission, he pulled back to grab her hand and drag her across the room. Kara was surprised to realize there was another door in the room that she hadn't even seen. Inside was a small room that shared the last few yards of the massive glass wall. The other three walls were a stark white, and the only furniture inside was a small desk with a few papers on it.

"Nice office here," Kara said with a laugh. "I didn't know you were so fond of working in a place that looks so much like sickbay."

"I was hoping a certain woman with impressive painting skills would help me with that."

Kara tried to figure out what Lee meant by that. The way he was talking sounded like he had planned this exact moment for some time now. "You want me to paint your walls?"

Lee took a few steps forward and rested his hands on the sides of her face. "This room is the sole reason I bought this place. I've spent hours just sitting at my desk and imagining what it could be. It was my dream that someday I would be able to sit back and watch you paint another masterpiece like I did all those years ago in your apartment. When I was searching for a place to live, I knew that I wouldn't be happy unless I found a place that I would be proud to bring you home to."

Kara's eyes shone with tears as she finally understood. "You made me a studio."

"Do you like it?"

Kara sniffled and nodded her head vigorously. "Gods. Sometimes, I wonder how I ever got to this point. I'm so ridiculously happy. What the frak did I do to deserve you?"

"Sometimes I wonder," Lee teased, planting a quick kiss on her lips before he pulled away. He looked down at his watch. "We have about an hour before you need to be back on a shuttle to PX-29."

"Then why are you walking away?" Kara teased. "I can make it quick."

Lee turned at the door to her studio and shook his head. "I would love to just throw you on that bed and frak you proper, Kara, but that's not the way I want to say goodbye to you."

"This isn't goodbye," she insisted, jogging a few paces to catch up to him. Her heart was already starting to break at the mere possibility that she would ever have to say goodbye to Lee Adama.

Lee paused at the front door and looked guilty. "I'm sorry. That was a poor choice of words." He sighed and reached into the front closet, pulling out an army jacket which he promptly tugged onto Kara's body. "The truth to the situation is that we both maxed out our leave to go on this little trip to Caprica and Picon. It's going to be a while before we see each other again."

"And because of that you _don't_ want to frak until our bodies give out?" Kara gave him a skeptical look.

"You're more to me than how you make me feel when we're in bed." Lee smirked at her. "Though, let me say for the record, that is quite a nice perk to the relationship." He held the door open for her. "I just want a little time for you and I to be ourselves out in public. I want a little taste of normalcy before our lives get sucked back into the bizarre."

Kara followed him down to the ground floor and out the doors in silence. She could understand what he meant. Since the moment she had met her first Adama, things had flown out of control. She had fallen in love with one of her students, been too noble to marry him, tortured herself for years, fallen in love with the other Adama brother, and finally admitted she was the kind of girl that wanted to be a wife and mother. A moment of normality sounded like heaven.

Lee led her into the park across the street, and they walked hand-in-hand around the dirt path in the middle. Things had changed rather quickly in Kara. She had seemed so scared and haunted before he had asked her to marry him. Looking at her now, he couldn't believe that had only been three weeks ago. The words fell from his lips before he could think twice. "I love you, Kara."

Kara twisted to a stop and watched him for a moment before she nodded slightly. "I know."

"We can be normal if we try," Lee said confidently.

"I think so."

"I want you to come here every second you can. What that outpost is doing to you scares me."

"I would love to have this place to come home to."

Lee leaned down to pull his jacket tight around her body. It was the cold season on Picon, and the last thing he wanted was for Kara to get sick because he had some ridiculous desire to be like a normal couple, strolling through the park. He tilted his head to kiss her cheek. "You are my whole world."

"I know," she whispered, giving him a kiss in return. "And you're mine."

"Good."

"There's just one last thing standing between us."

Lee heard the seriousness in her voice and would have been scared if not for the slight gleam in her eyes. "What?"

"I still think I scored," she said, shrugging her shoulders. Before Lee could absorb what she had said, she was out of his arms and running across the park at full steam.

It only took him a few seconds to catch up to her and flip her over his shoulder. Her fists beat on his back as he walked them back towards his apartment. He knew everyone watching them couldn't help but see that they were just two people desperately in love. His mission was accomplished, and he still had thirty minutes before Kara had to leave. It was time to try out Kara's version of what would prove they were just a normal couple. He was pretty sure that she was wrong. Not everyone could muster up the heat they did when they both let go to just feel.

"Kara?" he said, giving Desmond the security guard a small nod. Her only response was to stop kicking. "You were a foot short, and we both know it."

"Frak you," she hissed.

"I love you, too."


	14. Chapter 14

_

* * *

**Eight years in the past...**

* * *

_

_It had started innocently enough. Zak's cousin, Brian, had made some stupid comment about how he wished they could have full teams on each side but that would mean the wives and girlfriends would have to play. The next thing she knew, Kara was yelling that she would wipe his face all over the backyard. This picnic was supposed to be a nice way for Kara to meet the full family before she took the final plunge the next day, and she had to go and bring competition into the mix._

_Though, it didn't hurt that she was indeed wiping Brian's face all over the backyard._

_Kara smirked. Brian shouldn't have gotten cocky and told her team they could play with her as an extra person. Zak had warned his cousin that he was making a mistake, and it only took Kara scoring three touchdowns for him to believe it._

"_Ready to admit defeat?" Kara taunted as she squared up on the line for another play._

_Brian looked embarrassed for a moment but then he straightened up and shook his head. "No way, Thrace. Things are about to turn around." Waving his arms in the air, he screamed, "Get over here. We're one man down."_

_  
Kara turned to see an attractive man jog over to their makeshift sidelines. She watched him kick off his sandals, a grin practically tattooed across his face. He was kind of short compared to the rest of the Adamas so she had no idea what Brian was so happy about. He definitely wasn't intimidating her._

_Her opinion changed almost immediately. "Frak me," she groaned as he pulled his shirt over his head. The man had a body straight out of the magazines, and not the ones your mother got in the mail._

"_Who am I on?" the god in human form asked. He followed his cousin's finger until his eyes rested on Kara._

_Kara felt her heart drop out as she saw the corners of his mouth turn up in a smirk. Somehow, she knew he wasn't smirking because he had just been given a woman to guard. She tried to shove down the desire that was building up in the pit of her stomach. She could not be lusting after a future family member of hers._

"_Huddle up, team," Zak yelled._

_Kara gave her opponent a wink before jogging over to be a part of their team's pow wow. "I want the ball," she said before anyone could even suggest it._

"_It's going to be hard to score," one of the cousins pointed out._

_She looked over at their quarterback, her future husband. "Give me the ball."_

"_You heard her, boys," Zak said with a smirk. "The little lady wants the ball."_

_Kara ran back to her position and got set. "You don't know what's about to hit you," she taunted quietly._

"_I have a feeling I'll like it."_

_Kara tried to ignore the way his velvety rough voice made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She didn't have to try to hard because seconds later, Zak started the play, and her mind focused in on scoring yet another touchdown to put Brian Adama in his place._

_The ball was in her hands within seconds, and she was sprinting down the yard. This game might not come to her as naturally as pyramid, but she was still pretty fraking good. She was almost past the trees that marked the goal line when she felt a strong pair of hands come around her waist. She didn't have to turn around to know who they belonged to. She felt her foot catch on something and realized that she was about to go down hard. An image of her horribly bruised face under the yellow veil popped into her head. Zak was going to kill her._

_At the last second, she felt his arms tighten and twist their bodies so that instead of hitting the ground, she landed squarely on top of him. They lay tangled together on the cool grass, both struggling to regain their breath, both failing miserably._

"_You're Kara," the shirtless god said after a moment of studying her face._

_She looked into his eyes and felt her heart drop out. "You're Lee."_

"_Welcome to the family," Lee smirked._

_Kara heard someone yell and turned to see the majority of Lee's teams stomping their feet and throwing anything in sight. "What are they so mad about?"_

"_I usually get pretty brutal when we play these games," Lee explained, pulling both of their bodies up to sit. "I guess they're mad because I went easy on you." He winced and brought a hand up to his neck. "I think I pulled something."_

_"You shouldn't have done that," Kara teased. "I was going to take the hit."_

_"I know you were. Pretty fraking ballsy, if I do say so myself."_

_Kara looked over at the tree and then back at the man who still had his hands resting gently on her thighs. "I scored."_

_Lee shook his head. "No, you didn't. You were short."_

"_I am so over the line that it isn't even a contest," Kara yelled._

"_Bullshit," Lee said, pushing her shoulder._

_Kara found herself shoving right back and before she knew it, she was wrestling with her lover's brother while still arguing about whether she had been in or not. She had no clue if anyone was even paying attention to them. She hoped not. This probably wasn't giving Zak's family the best impression of her._

_When they finally declared a truce, they were both panting, but this time it wasn't from exertion. "Kara," Lee whispered, almost like he was trying to wrap his head around the sounds that made up her name._

_Kara was all too painfully aware that Lee's body was crushing her to the ground. Her common sense said she needed to knee him in the groin before it was too late, but her knee was aching from the old pyramid injury. She just couldn't get it to move._

"_Frak me," Lee whispered, still staring at her intently._

_Zak's voice broke through their haze a second later, and Lee pulled himself away. The two brothers embraced, and even though Kara was pretty sure it wasn't physically possible, she felt even more guilt._

"_Smile!" Caroline Adama's voice caused Kara to turn, but her eyes looked to the ground as the flash went off. "That's going to be a great picture," Caroline declared._

_Kara gave her a polite nod and then turned to Zak. "So, I got us another touchdown."_

_"No, you didn't," Lee butted in._

"_Are you two going to start arguing again?" Zak asked. _

_Kara felt her face redden and was only saved from even more embarrassment by her favorite cousin, Brian. "How the hell did you two find the only patch of mud in the whole yard?"_

_Kara looked down and laughed. She hadn't even noticed that half her side was now brown. "I guess that's game over for me."_

"_Get cleaned up and come back," Brian suggested._

_"You mean you actually want a girl to play now?"_

_Brian walked over and threw his arm over her shoulder. "You're not a girl. You're an Adama." He paused. "Well in a day, you will be."_

_Kara let out a small laugh and pushed his arm away. "This doesn't me you don't owe me six hundred cubits. I kicked your ass."_

_Brian stuck out his tongue and ran back to the huddle._

"_I've got to get back to my team," Zak said, already backing away. "Show her where she can clean up, will you?"_

_Kara turned to see Lee staring at her. "I think he wants us to be friends."_

"_How could you tell? By the fact that he actually gave you the ball or that he pulled every string he could to get me the extra twenty-four hours on my leave pass?"_

"_Both," Kara said with a smile as they began to walk side by side. "So, Lee Adama, man I've never met, tell me about yourself."_

_At first, Lee looked stunned at her request but then he started speaking. "Well, let's see. I'm a Viper pilot, but Zak's probably told you that a hundred times by now. I've been stationed on Atlantia for a year now."_

"_That's where all the hotshot pilots get put," Kara said, stating the obvious._

"_I'm pretty sure my father used his rank to get me the assignment, but at the moment, I don't care. Admiral Nagala is a brilliant man to work under."_

"_I'm sure you earned your spot there. You were always a good pilot. Maybe a little too by the book, but no one can be perfect." Kara caught Lee's look of surprise out of the corner of her eye and wondered if she had been stupid to say that. "We were at Academy together. I never really saw you, but I heard tales of the almighty Apollo."_

_Lee held the door to the house open for her, but before she could step inside, his hand was on her arm, pulling her to a stop. She began to feel nervous as he stared at her without saying a word. "Something you want to know?"_

_Lee looked at her for a moment longer before his face broke out into a smile. "Holy frak. You're Starbuck."_

_"That's my call sign," Kara said, giving Lee a funny look._

"_Zak told me his fiancée was a pilot, but he never said you were Starbuck."_

_Kara could feel the self-satisfaction building up inside of her and hoped she didn't look too smug. She would never have dreamed that a person so different from her style in and out of the cockpit would actually know who she was. She was pleased, but at the same time, it kind of made her uncomfortable. Kara stepped into the kitchen and turned to look back at him. "So, tell me, Lee. Is your dream to also have your own Battlestar someday?"_

_Lee's whole face drained of color. "What makes you say that?"_

"_It's all Zak can talk about most days. He wants to be just like your father. It killed him the day the Doc told him he couldn't fly Vipers anymore. I just figured that might have come from both you and your Dad." Kara suddenly found herself wishing there was a hole she could curl up in. Why did she get the feeling she had just said the worst possible thing? "I'm sorry if that sounds stupid."_

_"No, it's an honest mistake," Lee said, pushing past her. Kara ran a few steps to catch up to him as he started up the stairs to the second floor. "It's just nowhere near the truth."_

"_So set me right, Lee. What's your goal in life?"_

_Lee stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to face her. "I want to own a bar."_

"_Excuse me?" Kara said, not sure if she had heard right._

_Lee's face erupted in a small blush, and he let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Gods. I don't think I've ever said that out loud to anyone before."_

"_You want to own a bar?"_

_"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I just remember when I was in Academy. There were so many nights when exams or flight sims got to be too much. We would head on down to that pub on the corner of the dormitory row." He sighed and pushed past Kara to open a door in the hallway. "Things were just easier back then."_

_Kara decided not to press the issue. Something told her this was a conversation that Lee should be having with his family and not his soon to be sister-in-law. She stepped into the room behind him, and a smile immediately filled her face. There hadn't been time for Zak to give her a proper tour of the house, but she would bet her life that this was his room. There were little Viper planes all over, and a line of trophies on the bookshelves. The walls were painted a light blue, but there were dirt marks and scrapes all over. Stepping farther into the room, Kara could make out a few pictures carved into the woodwork of the window seat by a crayon and a lot of pressure. She fought the urge to smile. The whole room looked a mess, but it was downright cute. Her eyes rested on the childhood bed in front of her, and she wondered if the sheets still smelled like Zak. She sat down on the bed and was about to find out when Lee's voice interrupted._

"_I hate that my mom refuses to change this place," Lee growled. He reached into the dresser and took out a couple t-shirts, throwing one Kara's way. "I don't think I have any pants that will fit you, but the t-shirt should help."_

_Kara was about to pull her shirt over her head when it finally hit her. "This is your room?"_

"_Yeah," Lee said, wondering what the problem was. "Where'd you think I'd take you?"_

"_It's cute," Kara covered. Looking around, she realized that this room was so obviously not Zak's. For one, the trophies on the bookshelves were all for pyramid. Zak had only ever dreamed of playing the game. The light blue walls were definitely wrong. Zak hated the color blue. Kara leaned down to sniff the bed. Although it made her stomach do a small flip, the pillows and sheets held none of Zak's scent. There was a masculine similarity that she hoped was the cause of the desire in the pit of her body, but Zak had never smelled like Picon ambrosia and sandalwood._

"_We should probably get back," Lee suggested._

_Kara looked over at him and nodded. Still grasping the clean t-shirt in her hand, she stood up and tried to ignore the small feeling of regret at having to leave the bed. "So what made you so late today?" she asked, trying to keep the subject light._

"_I went to visit Anne, my father's wife." Lee shook his head in disbelief. "She's a good woman. Sometimes I wonder how she can put up with being married to a man who loves a ship more than her."_

"_It's the way of the military."_

"_It wasn't the way my mother raised us," Lee said._

_Kara felt like the comment came out of nowhere, and yet it fit the conversation perfectly. "Sometimes I'm afraid I _was _raised that way," she commented, slipping out into the hallway._

_Lee took a few long strides to catch up to her, and they were almost all the way down the stairs before he spoke. "I think you're the type of woman who wouldn't put anything before love."_

_Kara's eyes went wide. Did Lee actually pinpoint something that not even Zak had figured out? She felt her foot catch on the stairs, and she would have tumbled down the last few if Lee's arms didn't come out to grab her. Kara felt his grip tighten as he fought to keep both of them upright. She struggled to get her breath back from the near fall and was surprised to see Lee was just as breathless. A little voice in the back of her head whispered why that would be, but the rest of the voices in her head wouldn't let her go there._

_Lee's arms came down slowly, and she hated the way she felt a little more lost now that she was on her own again. Still slightly thrown off, Kara watched Lee walk down the last few stairs before blurting out, "Why haven't you asked me anything about myself?"_

_Lee paused in his steps and turned back to look at her. "I think it would be safer for both of us if I didn't."_

_Kara didn't have to ask what he meant by that. He was right. Things would be safer if she didn't ask any more questions._

_She was still on the third stair staring at his brother when Zak came into the house to check on them. For the first time in her life, she felt guilty for having such a good triad face.

* * *

_

Lee set his keys onto the table by the door and stepped into the apartment. The sun was just beginning to rise in Picon City, and he wanted to see it. He had been stuck on Atlantia for the past twelve months with no break because of some stupid malfunction in the communication drones. Five of his pilots had been killed. Lee shook his head to clear those thoughts away. He was on leave. He didn't want to be thinking about what he had lost.

Stepping out onto the balcony, Lee let out a deep breath. He had missed this place, even more so now that he knew this was also Kara's home. He had urged her to take her leaves here, but he wasn't sure she would listen to him. She seemed to have some unconscious desire to let the ghosts of the past haunt her on that damned Colonial Outpost. Lee sighed. He was used to Kara's self-destructing tendencies by now. Too bad, they still hurt to watch. Lee turned his back to the sea below him and looked at the glass wall of his apartment. Most people had no clue that a sunrise's reflection was just as beautiful as the real thing.

Lee was just getting used to the peaceful scene when his eyes caught on something different. He pushed off the railing and entered the open door to the small side room that he had been using as an office the last time he was here.

The walls were painted a deep green mixed with a dark blue. There were words painted all over the walls. He recognized them as Kataris, one of his better works. His eyes drifted over to his desk, and he realized there was a break in the deep hued theme right above his work space. He took a few steps closer to stare at the two small grey Vipers flying side by side. Next to them were the words, "A pleasant thing, my life, you propose to me that this our love might be between us into eternity. Great gods, make it so that we are able to promise truly, and that he speaks sincerely and from the mind, so that it might be allowed for us, in this whole life and into eternity, to guide this bond of sacred friendship." He had no idea how Kara had known that was his favorite verse by Kataris, but it didn't surprise him.

His bag dropped to the floor with a soft thud, and Lee hurried the last few steps through the open doorway into the bedroom. The walls of that office had awakened a hope inside of him that maybe he was wrong about Kara refusing to accept this place as her home. Then, the sight before his eyes took his breath away and he could think no more. There she was, like a sleeping goddess, naked but for a sheet tucked tightly around her chest.

He felt himself shiver as a full year's desire kicked in. The bed was only a few yards away, and he covered the distance before he even knew he was moving. He stood over her for a moment, just admiring the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

There had been a lot of women in his life before Kara. He had always been a little on the wild side in the Academy and War College. The women were the same every time, so vulnerable, breakable even. The perfect girls to be on the arm of a Commander's son. Bright blue eyes, long brown hair. Creamy smooth skin that was as close to perfection as you could get. The kind of girls he always dreamed of.

Kara was beautifully scarred. Legs, hips, arms, all delightfully bruised. Blonde hair that had a constant disheveled quality to it, the product of one too many self-inflicted haircuts. Scars from old war wounds marring her tan skin.

She was his reality, and he couldn't have been more happy that his dreams were wrong.

Being careful not to shake the mattress, he stretched his body out next to hers. She was so fraking beautiful, all curled up with his pillow tucked securely beneath her head. Lee reached out to run a finger along her bare shoulder. Her skin was exactly as he remembered it, so soft he couldn't help but lean in to whisper gentle kisses against it.

Kara shifted under his touch, and her eyes slowly opened to look at him. "You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."

"I couldn't resist," Lee whispered. "The idea that I could actually be in a place that you had been was too much."

"I'm here," Kara said, turning into his arms.

"So you are," Lee sighed. "Coming home to you is as amazing as I always imagined."

His words seemed to finally wake Kara up. Her eyes went wide, and she sat straight up, the sheet dipping low on her waist in the process. Lee knew his face flashed with something predatory because every inch of her skin turned pink as she pulled the sheet back up. "You fraked up my surprise," she hissed, giving him one of her famous looks of doom.

"I was still surprised," he pointed out. "The only difference was I was surprised with a sleeping beauty rather than the normal spitfire I know and love."

Kara continued to glare at him for a few seconds before turning to look at the clock. "What the frak are you doing, coming in at five o'clock in the morning, Adama?"

"The Admiral gave me some downtime, and I didn't want to waste any of it sleeping in my little bunk when I could have been done here on Picon." He watched Kara as she sighed and pulled herself and the sheet out of bed. "Where are you going?"

"To get dressed," she said, shortly. "You ruined the first part of the surprise, but I'll be damned if you screw up the rest."

Lee watched her walk into the bathroom and shut the door. Smiling, he got up and went back into the office. That's where she found him, in his desk chair staring at the walls she had spent weeks creating. She could see the look of appreciation in his eyes before he even said the words. "This is fraking amazing, Kara."

"It's your birthday gift," she pointed out, sitting on the edge of the desk. "You weren't home to get it."

"My birthday was six weeks ago," Lee pointed out.

Kara smirked at him. "I know."

"You were here six weeks ago?"

"I've been living in this apartment for three months now. Ask Desmond. We're fast friends." Kara pushed off the desk and walked back into the bedroom.

Lee stood up and followed her. He didn't question where they were going until they were in front of the door to the hall. "I don't understand."

Kara turned to smirk at him. "You thought I just got dressed so you could have the pleasure of undressing me?" When she saw a look of guilt flash across his face, she laughed. "That doesn't come until later, Lee. I have more important things for us to be doing."

"It's official. Kobol has frozen over. Kara Thrace has something better to do than fraking."

Kara smacked him on the chest before slipping her hand into his. "It's Kara Adama now, you forgetful fraker."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're giving up the opportunity to sleep with me," Lee taunted, earning himself another slap before they stepped into the elevator. Kara leaned her body up against his with a contented sigh. She had forgotten how it felt to have Lee's hands on her. It was the only thing she had dreamed of for the last twelve months.

"I didn't realize I was going to have to spend the first year of our marriage by myself," she said quietly as the elevator doors slid open on the ground floor.

"I'm sorry," Lee apologized while Kara dragged him out the front door of the complex. "I tried my best, but things were absolutely crazy on Atlantia."

Kara smiled and took a set of keys out of the pocket of her pants. When she spoke, there was a hint of sadness to her voice. "You really love that ship."

"I used to," Lee said honestly. Kara gave him a funny look. She had no clue what that meant. "Atlantia was the best ship I have ever flown on. It made me realize that I really do love being a Viper pilot, and being the CAG came so fraking natural to me. But then I met you." He shrugged his shoulders as they stopped in front of the tank of a car Kara had been driving for years. He didn't even want to know how she had gotten this thing from Delphi.

"I still don't understand," Kara said, sliding into the driver's seat. "I flew with you that day on Atlantia. You were in love with that job."

"I love you more," Lee whispered, leaning over to give her a quick kiss. "Now where are we going?"

"It's not for you to know," Kara insisted. "Can we go back to the part about you loving me more than flying?"

"It's true," Lee said. His eyes shifted to watch the buildings fly by. "Things have changed, Kara. I don't want to be anywhere that you can't be. Atlantia is the best ship in the Fleet, but it doesn't hold a candle to you."

Kara couldn't help but smile. She loved the fact that Lee wasn't scared to tell her how much he loved her. It was the only thing that kept her from pulling away most of the time. She turned the car left onto the highway and looked over at her husband. "So, have you heard from Tyler and Meg lately?"

"They visited me for my birthday. Meg says that all Tyler talks about these days is his Uncle Lee and Aunt Kara. He still worships me because I got him that ride in the Mark VIII, but I had no idea sure why he was so enamored with you. Now, it makes sense. You've been visiting, haven't you, Kara?"

"I try to make it out to Galactica every few weeks. Meg's been helping me with a little project of mine."

Lee braced himself against the frame of the car as Kara darted in and out of traffic. She had never had much patience when it came to driving. He needed to distract her now if he wanted to keep his life. "So, you've been on Picon for three months now."

"Ninety-eight days to be exact." She turned to smile at him. "I missed you the whole time. It's not fun living in our home without you there."

"How could you have done that without me knowing?" Lee demanded. "I talked to you at least twenty times in the past three months."

"Honey, didn't you realize that you never did the calling?"

Lee paused and thought over what she had just said. Come to think of it, Kara had been the one to call him the last few times. "You were calling from our home?"

"Every single time. I just used my uncanny ability to know exactly what you're thinking, Adama. Every time I figured you'd be missing my voice, I called you."

Lee shook his head. "I cannot believe I'm that transparent."

"Well, there was a few times when I called just because _I_ missed hearing _your_ voice," she added. "You've wormed your way into my heart, you fraking bastard."

"I never thought I would actually feel honored to be called that name," Lee teased.

"I have other ones we could try out," Kara smirked.

"Let's save those for a rainy day."

Kara gave him a small nod and focused back on driving like a maniac for a few seconds. Then she turned to give him the best impression of an innocent smile that she could muster. "So it's our one year anniversary, oh husband of mine. Can I ask what you got me?"

Lee smirked. He had a feeling that question was going to come up at some point. "I figured you weren't the type of person to want chocolates and jewelry."

"Don't judge too soon," she interrupted.

Lee rolled his eyes even though she was right. Kara had always had a soft spot for those little boxes of chocolates from the shop down the street from her Delphi apartment, and Lee had personally seen the large collection of jewelry she had amassed throughout the years. It was as unique as she was. "I got you something you want a whole lot more."

"Let me have it," Kara said, holding out her hand.

Lee shook his head, relaxing back into the seat as Kara swerved the car in and out of traffic. "You can't have it right now."

Kara gave him a small pout before putting her hand back onto the steering wheel and cutting through three lanes of traffic to take the next exit. They were getting out of the heart of the city and into an area she knew they were both extremely familiar with. She was surprised Lee hadn't said anything about that yet. Maybe his mind was still on the fact that she had turn down a welcome home frak.

"Aren't you going to ask me what it is?" Lee inquired after a moment of silence. He knew how much Kara hated surprises.

"What is it?"

"I pulled some favors and got some leave time for Helo," Lee said. He waited for her reaction and wasn't disappointed. Kara let out a squeal of delight, and for a second, Lee thought they might crash. He shut his eyes and waited for his imminent demise. When there was no explosion of white light, he opened an eye. His wife was staring at him, a massive smile on her face.

"You sure know how to treat a girl right, Adama."

"It wasn't that hard. I saw the two of you together on Atlantia last year. Plus, you're pretty much all Helo has talked about since then. I'm sure you've missed him just as much as you've missed me."

Kara shook her head as she parked the car on the brick street. "It's not possible for me to miss anyone as much as I've missed you." She slid her body over the gear shifter and straddled his waist. "I love you, Lee," she said with a smile before leaning down to give him a teasing kiss.

Lee let her play her little game for a few minutes before he felt his control begin to wane. With a regretful groan, he pushed her away. "What are you playing at, Kara? You know the military patrol these streets looking for things just like this," he scolded. "I do not want to end up in the Academy's brig eleven years after I've graduated."

Kara smiled and reached her hand over to open the passenger door. "I was afraid you didn't notice where we are."

"How can I forget this place?" Lee said. He stepped out of the car and looked up and down the street. It was still early in the morning, but in only a few hours, this place would be swarming with cadets. The Academy was only a half a mile away, and the War College was even closer.

Kara grabbed his hand and started dragging him down the street past all the old hangouts that were near to both their hearts. He realized that they had never gotten the chance to experience them together, and it made him slightly sad. He would have loved to have seen Kara during her days at the Academy.

Lee let his wife lead him down the street without much protest. He knew when Kara got something into her head, she didn't let up. She had dragged him all the way out here for a reason, and it had to be good if she gave up the chance to sleep with him to do it.

"Here we are," Kara said, pulling to a stop in front of a rather broken looking building.

Lee recognized it as the corner store that had burnt down when he was a first year. It looked like someone had had the structure rebuilt. The building could use a good washing, but otherwise it was rather nice. The windows were boarded up, telling him that there hadn't been an occupant in quite some time, but from the look of the entryway, someone had been here recently. "What am I supposed to be looking at, Kara?"

"Your anniversary present," she smirked. "Open it up."

Lee gave her a funny look which only made her smirk widen. She stepped forward to turn a key into the lock and held the door open. "Go on inside," she said.

The inside was something he was not expecting. It was the empty shell of a tavern, complete with the Picon oak bar that already had some battle scars. Lee turned to gape at his wife. "What's going on, Kara?"

"I missed you like crazy, Lee. So I spent all my military pension and the salary I saved from the outpost to come up with a way to bring you home."

"You bought me a bar?" Lee exclaimed.

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" she asked. Suddenly her little impulsive decision wasn't sounding so smart. "You told me that day at your mother's house that you always wanted to own a bar. I thought that maybe when your current assignment on Atlantia is finished, you can move down here. I quit my job on the outpost as soon as I had enough money. Meg's helped me with getting the licenses and all the fun legal stuff. Did you know her father used to work in the Office of Business for the Twelve Colonies? That girl can work magic in the form of clauses and loopholes. I didn't even know you could get things running that quickly."

She probably would have kept talking for at least another five minutes if Lee had silenced her with a kiss. "You are one fraking amazing woman, Kara Adama." Lee let out a deep breath and looked around the room again. He couldn't believe this was all theirs.

"You like it?"

Lee gave her an annoyed look. "I love it, Kara. Frak, it's what I've always wanted." Lee's eyes rested on his wife. "We've earned this, haven't we?"

A smile spread across Kara's face. "Damn right we have." Kara pulled herself away from his arms and hopped up onto the bar. "So do you know what you're going to name it?"

"I've known this girl's name for eight years now."

"It's a girl?" Kara teased. She knew that guys liked to assign genders to their cars, but she hadn't know they liked to do it to bars, too.

"It's one hell of a girl," Lee confirmed. After a moment, he walked over to rest his back on the bar between her legs, and her arms moved around to hug his neck. It felt like they had been doing this for their whole lives. "Starbuck's," he whispered, smiling to himself. "It has a ring to it."

Kara could feel herself begin to tear up. She never imagined having a drinking establishment named after her would make her this happy. "I would have voted for Apollo's," she managed to choke out.

Lee shook his head. "It's my bar. I name it what I want."

Kara leaned back to reach over the bar and grab a bottle of ambrosia. "What say you and I have the first drink?" She poured two drinks and handed one to Lee. "To dreams achieved," she said. The ambrosia slid down her throat like a familiar song. "You're awful quiet, Lee," she said after the silence stretched between them.

"Do you really think we can do this?" Lee poured another drink for himself and Kara. "I don't know how to even begin to run a bar."

Kara gave him a look of irritation. "What are you talking about? What we have here is pure tylium. We couldn't frak it up even if we tried." She threw back the drink and slammed the glass onto the counter. "We are two of the best pilots that Academy churned out. Hell, we probably still hold most of the records for the sim runs. Those starry-eyed cadets will come running when they hear Starbuck and Apollo have a bar." Kara smirked. "I mean, you named the bar after me. Not too many people are going to get it confused for something other than what it is. Besides, you and I are in this together. There's nothing that can beat the two of us when we're together."

Lee nodded in agreement. She had a point. "I love you for doing this."

"And I love you for not being mad at me for doing this," Kara admitted. She watched Lee take another drink straight from the bottle before looking at her out of the corner of her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. She would know that look anywhere even if they hadn't been looking at each other that way for eight years now. "Don't move," she insisted as she hoped down from the bar.

Lee watched his wife go over to the large wooden door and flip the lock. Kara leaned against it for a second in order to catch her breath before making her way back to his side. "So we had the bar's first drink."

"We did."

"There's only one thing left to do." She smiled at him. Lee might have been tight-laced while at the Academy, but there were certain things that you couldn't avoid knowing. The ritual of how you christened a bar was one of those things. "It's tradition, you know."

"We wouldn't want to frak with tradition," he agreed.

Kara felt his hands pick her up and set her down on the bar. His fingers slid against her shoulders to push her jacket to the floor. "Get up here," she growled, crushing his mouth to hers.

She felt the momentum shift as Lee crawled onto the bar. He pushed her body down against the bar, and it felt deliciously right.

For the first time in eight years, she found herself thanking the gods. They had known what they were doing when they sent her Lee Adama.

* * *

_Kara heard him softly whisper her name, and she could just imagine how far this could go if only she let it. He wanted to lean down to kiss her. Kara didn't have the strength to stop him. His touch was gentle, as she knew it would be. Everything Lee did was either extremely intense or extremely gentle. There was no middle ground. She knew it was crazy to let herself be this happy, but she couldn't think of one reason why she shouldn't give in to the feeling. It seemed like all rationality and common sense had left her body._

The only thing left was love.


End file.
